Limecello’s review of Mistress Ménage (Mistress Diaries, Book 3) by Jenesi Ash
Erotic romance short story eBook released by Harlequin Spice 1 May 08

I think I need to preface my review with the statement that I like Harlequin as a publisher. A lot. In fact, I probably spend twice as much on Harlequin books as I do on groceries. [And I buy from the site with discount codes – so imagine. Scary.]

That being said, I’m still undecided about the Spice Line. First of all, the book blurb lies [Ed.: Like a rug.]. Good thing I read that after reading the Brief. Still, I started reading this, and 1/5 through the first page, I was checking grammar. This is bad news, because I am not a grammar girl. I am the girl who told her 8th grade English teacher, “If someone held a gun to my head and told me to find the gerund in the sentence, I’d tell them to pull the trigger.” She thought I was joking.

The heroine starts out with all the depth of a sidewalk puddle. She’s full of contradictions, and frankly, not that bright. Within the first page or so, she’s bragging about being shown off, and then complaining about… being shown off. I’m not a fan of sweeping generalizations or stereotypes, so, “I always seem to take the riskiest option. I guess it’s a quality all mistresses have” rubbed me the wrong way. And while I’m generally not for taking pot shots, but I couldn’t resist this one. The author just handed it to me when Amaris thought, “I’m not going to get into this… He’s smarter and quicker than me.” No – really?

Unfortunately, I found myself mainly bored during the sex scenes. There was also a major emphasis on speed. “Demonic speed” “lightening speed” “already?” The Spice Brief was like reading a poor description of a really bad porno. The comments the characters made were exceedingly inane, and it would have been better if they had not spoken at all. There’s a twilight zone switch, and the real purpose of the “story” comes out. The first 15 pages [out of 20, mind you] were pointless. Much like gratuitous boob shots in a porno. But no, after some purely awful dialog, it ends – just when you think the story is about to get going, you find out that’s the next installment. Unfortunately, my first foray into Spice Briefs was not a good one.

My suggestion is to read the blurb, and leave it at that. It’s the best part – but here’s a spoiler: Amaris isn’t thrilled. The end.

Grade: F

Summary:

In this third installment of The Mistress Diaries, the bawdy, naughty adventures of Amaris Martin, ambitious career mistress to a millionaire, Amaris’s lover Leon loses at a high-stakes Vegas poker game, and a night with Amaris is part of the bet. Rather than being outraged, Amaris is delighted–the man who won her is very sexy…and even richer than Leon! Approaching the night as a potential job interview, Amaris is dismayed to discover the guy’s already got a mistress who’s not too keen on the ménage a trois he has in mind. But by the end of the night, Amaris is sure she’s got herself a new benefactor…until she wakes up the next morning to find his dead body in her bed, and her rival claims Amaris killed him.

No excerpt available.