The publishing industry has never heard the adage, “The shortest distance between two points is a straight line.”
You ever wonder what an author has to do to get from raw, unedited text to a finished product? What changes do their creations go thru? Do they have to give up really good stuff to make it work?
I’m happy you asked! We have an example of what Lisa Kleypas went thru to get from the raw, unedited Seduce Me at Sunrise (St. Martin’s releases it 30 Sep 08) excerpt we posted last October to what you see below – the finished product. The process is actually quite fascinating…
Chapter One
Winter, 1848
Win had always thought Kev Merripen was beautiful, in the way that an austere landscape or a wintry day could be beautiful. He was a large, striking man, uncompromising in every angle. The exotic boldness of his features was a perfect setting for eyes so dark that the irises were barely distinguishable from the pupil. His hair was thick and as black as a raven’s wing, his brows strong and straight. And his wide mouth was set with a perpetually brooding curve that Win found irresistible.
Merripen. Her love, but never her lover. They had known each other since childhood, when he had been taken in by her family. Although the Hathaways had always treated him as one of their own, Merripen had acted in the capacity of a servant. A protector. An outsider.
He came to Win’s bedroom and stood at the threshold to watch as she packed a valise with a few personal articles from the top of her dresser. A hairbrush, a rack of pins, a handful of handkerchiefs that her sister Poppy had embroidered for her. As Win tucked the objects into the leather bag, she was intensely aware of Merripen’s motionless form. She knew what lurked beneath his stillness, because she felt the same undertow of yearning.
The thought of leaving him was breaking her heart. And yet there was no choice. She had been an invalid ever since she’d had scarlet fever two years earlier. She was thin and frail and given to fainting spells and fatigue. Weak lungs, all the doctors had said. Nothing to do but succumb. A lifetime of bed rest followed by an early death.
Win would not accept such a fate.
She longed to get well, to enjoy the things that most people took for granted. To dance, laugh, walk through the countryside. She wanted the freedom to love . . . to marry . . . to have her own family someday.
With her health in such a poor state, there was no possibility of doing any of those things. But that was about to change. She was departing this day for a French clinic, where a dynamic young doctor, Julian Harrow, had achieved remarkable results for patients just like herself. His treatments were unorthodox, controversial, but Win didn’t care. She would have done anything to be cured. Because until that day came, she could never have Merripen.
“Don’t go,” he said, so softly that she almost didn’t hear him.
Win struggled to remain outwardly calm, even as a hot-and-cold chill went down her spine.
“Please close the door,” she managed to say. They needed privacy for the conversation they were about to have.
Merripen didn’t move. Color had risen in his swarthy face, and his black eyes glittered with a ferocity that wasn’t at all like him. He was all Roma at this moment, his emotions closer to the surface than he ever usually allowed.
She went to close the door herself, while he moved away from her as if any contact between them would result in fatal harm.
“Why don’t you want me to go, Kev?” she asked gently.
“You won’t be safe there.”
“I’ll be perfectly safe,” she said. “I have faith in Dr. Harrow. His treatments sound sensible to me, and he’s had a high success rate-”
“He’s had as many failures as successes. There are better doctors here in London. You should try them first.”
“I think my best chances lie with Dr. Harrow.” Win smiled into Merripen’s hard black eyes, understanding the things he couldn’t say. “I’ll come back to you. I promise.”
He ignored that. Any attempt she made to bring their feelings to light was always met with rock-hard resistance. He would never admit he cared for her, or treat her as anything other than a fragile invalid who needed his protection. A butterfly under glass.
While he went on with his private pursuits.
Despite Merripen’s discretion in personal matters, Win was certain there had been more than a few women who had given him their bodies, and used him for their own pleasure. Something bleak and angry rose from the depths of her soul at the thought of Merripen lying with someone else. It would shock everyone who knew her, had they understood the power of her desire for him. It would probably shock Merripen most of all.
Seeing his expressionless face, Win thought, Very well, Kev. If this is what you want, I’ll be stoic. We’ll have a pleasant, bloodless goodbye.
Later she would suffer in private, knowing it would be an eternity until she saw him again. But that was better than living like this, forever together and yet apart, her illness always between them.
“Well,” she said briskly, “I’ll be off soon. And there’s no need to worry, Kev. Leo will take care of me during the trip to France, and-”
“Your brother can’t even take care of himself,” Merripen said harshly. “You’re not going. You’ll stay here, where I can-”
He bit off the words.
But Win had heard a note of something like fury, or anguish, buried in his deep voice.
This was getting interesting.
Her heart began to thump. “There . . .” She had to pause to catch her breath. “There’s only one thing that could stop me from leaving.”
He shot her an alert glance. “What is it?”
It took her a long moment to summon the courage to speak. “Tell me you love me. Tell me, and I’ll stay.”
The black eyes widened. The sound of his indrawn breath cut through the air like the downward arc of an ax-stroke. He was silent, frozen.
A curious mixture of amusement and despair surged through Win as she waited for his reply.
“I . . . care for everyone in your family . . .”
“No. You know that’s not what I’m asking for.” Win moved toward him and lifted her pale hands to his chest, resting her palms on a surface of tough, unyielding muscle. She felt the response that jolted through him. “Please,” she said, hating the desperate edge in her own voice, “I wouldn’t care if I died tomorrow, if I could just hear it once-”
“Don’t,” he growled, backing away.
Casting aside all caution, Win followed. She reached out to grasp the loose folds of his shirt. “Tell me. Let’s finally bring the truth out into the open-”
“Hush, you’ll make yourself ill.”
It infuriated Win that he was right. She could feel the familiar weakness, the dizziness that came along with her pounding heart and laboring lungs. She cursed her failing body. “I love you,” she said wretchedly. “And if I were well, no power on earth could keep me away from you. If I were well, I would take you into my bed, and I would show you as much passion as any woman could-”
“No.” His hand lifted to her mouth as if to muffle her, then snatched back as he felt the warmth of her lips.
“If I’m not afraid to admit it, why should you be?” Her pleasure at being near him, touching him, was a kind of madness. Recklessly she molded herself against him. He tried to push her away without hurting her, but she clung with all her remaining strength. “What if this were the last moment you ever had with me? Wouldn’t you have been sorry not to tell me how you felt? Wouldn’t you-”
Merripen covered her mouth with his, desperate for a way to make her quiet. They both gasped and went still, absorbing the feel of it. Each strike of his breath on her cheek was a shock of heat. His arms went around her, wrapping her against the hardness of his body. And then everything ignited, and they were both lost in a furor of need. She could taste the sweetness of apples on his breath, the bitter hint of coffee, but most of all the rich essence of him. Wanting more, craving him, she pressed upward.
Very interesting to compare the differences and see how a fine gem has been polished to shine even more brightly. Thanks!
I thought so, too, Jennybrat. And ohmigosh this is such a wonderful excerpt. My fav line:
“She knew what lurked beneath his stillness, because she felt the same undertow of yearning.”
There’s practically a whole chapter’s worth of emotion, action, and dialog in that one sentence!
Thank you dears!
Hi Lisa,
I’ve been a long time reader of yours- it’s so lovely to finally catch you here 🙂
The culmination of this scene is so emotional- cue beautiful swelling music!
Win and Merripen are going to be incredible… but my favourite is Poppy, she was so wonderful for trying to help Amelia with the family in the previous book- please tell me that she’ll be next!
This made me clutch my non-existent pearls! So passionate. Delish!
Oh wow. That was fantastic, I cannot wait until this book comes out!
I just want want want this book. Want. I feel guilty, but I was almost more interested in Win and Merripen’s book than Amelia and Cam’s [during A + C’s story!] :X
What an impressive excerpt! You must feel exhilarated after having finished making changes and edits. To go from the more raw to this is just amazing. I am so, so excited for this story. Thank you for sharing!!
Hi Christabel (Oh what a lovely name!)
I am so happy to tell you that Poppy’s story will be next (after I finish the contemp I’m working on right now) and I have the most DELICIOUS ideas for her story, with very sexy Phantom-of-the-Opera overtones.
Devon, LOL about your non-existent pearls. Speaking of pearls, there’s a verrry interesting scene with Sebastian and Evie in “A Wallflower Christmas” that you may want to read . . . heh heh.
Rowena and limecello, I wish the book were coming out right now so you could read it 🙂
Sarah, thank you . . . sometimes I really love revising because it feels like I’m layering on more details and more color, and it’s so satisfying to see it taking shape. (Other times it actually seems like work, but it is definitely exhilarating when it’s done!)
Lordy but that woman can write…
Sorry I wasn’t around yesterday… I WAS around… just not on blog cuz I was a touch medicated.
I am going to try and catch up today. But really it isn’t like anyone was here for ME but Lisa Klepas 😉
Terrific excerpts. Should I mention that I want more? LOL
*sigh*, I can’t hardly wait for this book. Waiting for it to be in the shelves makes me feel like waiting for the next Christmas.
argh!