Lawson’s review of The Accidental Vampire (Argeneau Vampires, Book 7) by Lynsay Sands
Paranormal Romance released 26 Dec 07 by Avon

This book has a cute premise. Well-meaning neighbors put in ad in a paper for their friend who came back from Mexico a vampire. They know their own mortality and want her to have companionship as she out lives them all. Elvi is lucky to have such caring friends and neighbors. She doesn’t know any other vampires and doesn’t know she’s violated the basic vampire laws however.

Which is why Victor is in town. He’s there to see the situation and find out what he can do to keep things under raps and bring Elvi in for justice. But what is a vampire to do when the whole town knows about Elvi and her situation and expect her to now behave a certain way? When Victor begins to fall for Elvi as well, he realizes the situation isn’t cut and dry and he’s got to protect her from the council as well as a new danger in her previously boring town. Oh, and convince her they’d be perfect living together forever.

Since this is book 7 in this series, I’m hoping that I’m not giving too much away, but I’m sure there are people out there that are not acquainted with the Argeneaus. So in not trying to spoil anything, they prefer immortals to vampires, Victor is old, old (born in 230 B.C.) and is a bitter guy since mortals burned his wife at the steak in the 1300s. He hasn’t talked to his own son since (read Book 5, A Bite to Remember). Victor is also starting to get bored by life and doesn’t want to become careless and go toward the madness that can happen to those that are so very old.

Victor, for good reason, points out very quickly the rather sorry life that Elvi leads in her town. Being that old and overly observant does that to a person. She feels indebted to the people since they provide blood for her, to play the part of the sexy vampiress and break those vampire laws she didn’t know she was breaking. How Victor, a jaded really old immortal, falls for Elvi is kinda hard to see. Though she’s 62 herself, she’s terribly naive and believes the best in people, even when one of her dear friends and neighbors tries to kill her.

Yep, one of the small town people start to shoot arrows to slay Elvi. The reason why and the resolution is rather… overdone and slapstick. Or just pointless. But Elvi throws herself into danger and does some TSTL things, with sexy results. She and Victor have some very steamy scenes, one of which on the hood of a BMW (a personal fantasy of mine).

With the cute premise and steam, it helps override the slapstick “try to kill Elvi” premise, but not enough to override Elvi’s naivete or the strange give in take relationship she’s been in with her small town home. Probably one of the weaker links in the Argeneau series chain. Don’t worry though, the next two Vampires are Forever and Vampire, Interrupted make up for this one in spades. Those reviews are coming soon. 🙂

Grade: D+

Blurb:

     Ever since an accident turned her into a knockout vamp, Elvi Black’s been catching her z’s in a coffin, staying out of the sun, and giving up garlic. She knows there’s more to being undead than what she saw in Dracula, but she can’t very well ask her mortal friends about proper biting etiquette. But when her neighbors placed a personal ad for her in the local paper, she never imagined she’d meet Victor Argeneau, a vampire who could have his pick of any woman – dead or alive.

Rich, powerful, and drop-dead gorgeous, Victor’s the perfect man for a novice neck-biter like Elvi. He’s willing to teach her everything he knows, but he’ll have to do it fast. Someone’s out to put a stake through her new vamp life, and only Victor can keep her safe – and satisfied – for all eternity.

Excerpt.