Guest Author Post: Dee Tenorio’s (potentially) fabulous penmanship, or OCD Perfection

I remember when I was growing up, I used to hate report card day. Not that I got bad grades—are you kidding, my parents would have killed me—but because of those damn teacher comment sections. It’s a lot easier on a kid’s ego these days, when teachers select an option of either:

A: Your child is an excellent addition to our school.
B: Your child is a nice addition to our class.
C: Your child is doing well.
D: Your child needs supervision.
E: Your child is a malignant little shite and s/he’s trying to kill us.

But in my day, report cards were hand written little expressions of a teacher’s dedication, affection or concern for their students. So, I would get As. And I’d get E for Excellence in my citizenship (and let me tell you, when the illegals I went to school with tried to rub it in that I wasn’t Mexican enough for them, I rubbed that “citizenship” in as hard as I could). And then came the dreaded teacher comment: “She does well in class, but she is not living up to her potential.” Or, “She has such potential.”

To this day, the word “potential” really sucks.

It was all I heard through at least ten years of school. My last two years of high school, no one much cared who had potential, they were just glad we deigned to come in and secure the school with its allotment of financial rations from the state. But I’ve never stopped wondering. What were all those teachers seeing me do that convinced them I had something fabulous to offer the world? And what made them so sure I was keeping it to myself? It was like being told I was magical and then not telling me how to use the magic.

I occasionally took some time to try and find this mysterious potential. Was it hidden in my subpar penmanship? Had I tucked it away in the pocket where my math skills were supposed to go, because the lock on that pocket was rusted tight. I mean, it’s not like I went to school and said to myself, “I’m only going to use 50% of my best energy today.” Then it hit me. Maybe I had to grow into it? Maybe they saw something I’d have when I was older and wiser and faster and stronger and all those things kids imagine adults are supposed to be.

So I grew up.

But I’m still looking for my mysterious potential. I’m also a neurotic twit who goes over every little thing three times, seeks absolute perfection and drives the hubby absolutely nuts trying to find the perfect solution to a very small, oddly shaped living room and way too much exercise equipment. I’m what you might call an overachiever at times. I want to get everything right so that when I get my next report card from a reviewer or a reader or a friend or an editor, they see a glass mostly full instead of depressingly half empty.

I can’t even fault my teachers, who’ve shaped me into the raving perfectionist that I am. I mean, after years of their subtle torment, I’m quite the sarcastic cretin and wouldn’t you know it, I write romantic comedy. My books, even the dramas, are generally populated with folks who live for a good comeback. Well, that and mind-blowingly good sex. (Which, ironically, earns the same expression of concern on my father’s face as those old report cards.) And you know what? I can totally live with that. How’s that for living up to my potential?

Now, in ode to my report cards of yore, choose a selection of the current “standard” comments a teacher can choose from the above A-E list that best fits you and post it in the comments section to enter my giveaway. One randomly drawn winner will get an e-copy of Test Me!, my new erotic comedy from Samhain Publishing!

I’m really curious to see how many malignant shites there are out there…apart from me.

Potentially perfectly yours,
Dee Tenorio

He Said Three Winners…

Rona Sharon’s

Rakes Are From Mars Winners

Sarai

Cindi Hoppes

Maya

Congrats and enjoy! Please email us your address info. Thanks to Rona Sharon for the great prizes.

You will have a chance to win again tomorrow.. keep an eye out

Review: Calamity Jayne Heads West (Tressa Jayne Turner Mysteries, Book 5) by Kathleen Bacus

Sandy M’s review of Calamity Jayne Heads West (Tressa Jayne Turner Mysteries, Book 5) by Kathleen Bacus
Contemporary romance published 2 Oct 07 by Love Spell (Dorchester)

Blurb:

Did you hear about the blonde coyote? It got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Tressa Jayne Turner, Grandville Iowa’s own little “Calamity”, is headed for the Grand Canyon State–and a wedding! No, not her own. She hasn’t said yes to the roguish Ranger Rick yet, but after the past years, some downtime in a sweat lodge is just what the shaman ordered.

Unfortunately, it’s her goofy granny getting’ hitched, and Tressa’s sunny little siesta is about to have more strings attached than a dream catcher. Her cousin’s keeping secrets, Rick’s sending signals–more of the smokin’ than smoke variety–and it seems Tressa’s not the only person with an attachment to “Kookaumunga”, the butt-ugly fertility figurine she picked up at a roadside stand as a wedding gift. The wacky wedding’s about to become a southwestern scavenger hunt, an amazing race cum Da Vinci Code-intrigue, featuring a washed-up actress out to kick-start her career, a suspect spiritual advisor, locals with a cause, and a ten-year-old who’s a chip off a certain ranger’s blockhead. It’ll be a vision quest to make Thelma and Louise’s southwestern spree seem like amateur night at the OK Corral. May the best spirit guide win.

Read an excerpt. 

I have to admit, I laughed out loud when I read that blonde joke on the back cover of this book and thought it ought to be a good story. Well, I was right and I was wrong.  I’ve not read any of the previous Calamity Jayne books, so perhaps that’s why it took me a while to get into this one. I know nothing about the characters and their history, but, still, starting from scratch, it took me about two and a half months to get through this one.

In this book, Jayne and her family are in Arizona for the wedding of Tressa’s grandmother to Ranger Rick Townsend’s grandfather. While there, Tressa comes across the perfect wedding gift - a fertility god statue that is butt ugly even to her - that someone else is after.  In between all these goings-on is the relationship between her and Ranger Rick. But it seems the current mystery holds more excitement and adventure for Tressa than a handsome, kind and caring man because she’s back out there running down clues once again. Silly blonde.

While the writing is good, the humor is great — even though all those western clichés get to be a little much after a while — and the mystery is a fun chase, I was disappointed that there wasn’t more between Calamity and Rick. I’m assuming that’s the case through most of the series, and, if so, I don’t think I’d have much of a good time with those books.

This book has its moments, but it starts out very slow and while there’s lots of action, to me there’s not enough of the right kind of action. It’s a cute story and there is more to Tressa Jayne than being blonde, but I just needed something more.

Grade: C

Review: To Have and to Hold (Wyckerley Trilogy Book 2) by Patricia Gaffney

Alicia Thomas’s review of To Have and to Hold (Wyckerley Trilogy Book 2) by Patricia Gaffney
Historical romance republished 4 Mar 2003 (orig. 1995) by NAL Trade

Blurb:

Suave, cynical, and too handsome for his own good, Sebastian Verlaine never expects to become a magistrate judging the petty crimes of his tenants and neighbors. Nor can the new Viscount D’Aubrey foresee that when a fallen woman appears before him, he’ll find himself beguiled against all reason to alter her terrible fate…

Rachel Wade has served time in prison for her husband’s violent death, but she soon discovers that freedom has its own price. For no one will offer her a second chance but a jaded viscount who needs a housekeeper. Scorned by the townspeople of Wyckerley as D’Aubrey’s mistress, tempted beyond her will by the devilish lord, Rachel risks all she had to claim a life of her own…and a love that will last for all time.

Excerpt.

To Have and to Hold is my first book by Patricia Gaffney. I didn’t read it on recommendation. I didn’t even notice it is the second in a trilogy until after I had read it. (It stands alone just fine, by the way.) I picked it up because it is a paperback and I’m trying to clear out space. I’m buying, almost exclusively, ebooks. I got a pleasant surprise, though the book itself wasn’t always a pleasant experience.

Rachel was eighteen years old when she was married to an older, abusive man. After one week he was murdered. At the beginning of this book she has been out of prison for a little while and has been picked up for vagrancy because no one will give her a job.

Sebastian Verlaine is a bored aristocrat who has spent his entire life in self centered pursuit of entertainment.  He decides to take Rachel as his housekeeper, couching it in the guise of helping her but he only wants to seduce her. From the beginning, it is clear between them that this is his intent, although it isn’t said.

Sebastian isn’t a nice guy. He isn’t pushing her in order to break her free of her fear. When he finds out she’s been sexually abused, he’s intrigued and curious about what happened to her. Her fear of him alternately entices and repulses him. He is the darkest hero I’ve ever read (beating all of the Anne Stuart heroes I’ve read, hands down). He’s been a spoiled bully all of his life and doesn’t intend to stop now.

The book is so painful to read, for such a long time, that I often wondered, “Why am I still reading this?” But I’m glad I pressed on. I won’t give any spoilers, here, but Gaffney pulls off the redemption of Sebastian. I’ll answer spoiler questions in the comments if anyone wants.

Grade: B

Sexy Devil, Lush, Trouble aka Sasha White

Sasha White Winners

The winner of a signed copy of Sexy Devil is:

ames

The winner of a signed copy of Lush is:

Little Lamb Lost

The winner of a signed copy of Trouble

josie

Congrats and enjoy! Please email us your address info. Thanks to Sasha White Winners for the great prizes and the most wonderful excerpts.

Review: Unmanned by Lois Greiman

Connie’s review of Unmanned by Lois Greiman
Mystery published 06 Nov 07 by Dell

Even in a city of long, tall beauties, psychologist Christina McMullen is used to getting hit on. But she’s definitely not accustomed to having a hit on her. Until the day a charming stranger shows up at her door—and someone guns him down right in front of her.

For Chrissy, shootings and explosions are what pass for normal in her tempestuous relationship with sexy LAPD lieutenant Jack Rivera. But the real mayhem begins when her brother Pete blows in from the Windy City trailing clouds of trouble in the form of a pregnant girlfriend, “borrowed” money, and a mobster named “D.” Chrissy always said her family would be the death of her–but even L.A.’s sassiest shrink isn’t prepared for the truth behind her brother’s link to the dead stranger…or the killer who threatens them both.

read the excerpt

Psychologist Christine McMullen seems to have a lot of people trying to kill her, of course her family is reason enough. Mostly she just needs to get laid but our cop is holding back.

The author has a lot of sassy things to say but I see that wearing thin over time. Liked the dog.

Grade: D

Sybil’s review of Unmanned by Lois Greiman

I typed this up about 1am this morning and before I knew it was 3:30 and I had read the book. A couple of things to note: this is a mystery, number 4 in a series, 1st person, naughty words a plenty, fucktard usage made me giggle and there no HEA. Unnerved is set to come out in 2008.

This is the only book in the series I have read and it is cute, fun, flirty and if I had read all four books and if Christina and Rivera have been dancing around each other the whole time I would be really annoyed. So it would be interesting to see what someone thinks who is a reader of the series.

I can’t make up my mind really why I liked this book. Christina gives new meaning to stupid at times. Rivera can be something of an ass. I have no clue why Christina deals with her family or why her brother Pete didn’t make me throw the book at the wall.

But Chrissy and Rivera are cute together. And banter goes from sweet to hawt and I will be checking out the next book because if these two end up together I would be interested in reading more. But I couldn’t do another book of lusty wooing. I don’t think Chrissy can either since she was about ready to go off and get down with just about any man who wanted her. And of coure they ALL did.

Connie said it best, Christina seriously needs to get laid.

Grade: B-

Legally Quacked: Sandy M

Sandy M’s Daydream

Once upon a time a TGTBTU reviewer was a young (snort!) girl named Sandy who lived in a lighthouse on the California coastline.  Sandy loved to read thanks to an elementary school teacher. She loved Trixie Belden and Nancy Drew as a kid, but after a while, life began to change for her.

 

One day Sandy discovered romance novels. GASP! These books were so different from what she was used to!  She loved how the hero took control and loved the heroine no matter what. Of course, now she knows these are called ’80s bodice rippers that most of today’s romance readers don’t care for.  But to Sandy they will always have a place in her heart because they were her first romance books.

Then college intruded.  Suddenly, there was a period in Sandy’s life when there didn’t seem to be enough time for reading.  College had more of her than the heroes and heroines she loved so much. For years Sandy put her education first (cough::partying::cough) . But she got through them and is now a self-employed court reporter.

Sandy was finally able to pick up more books and get back into the reading habit. She discovered Nora Roberts, Linda Howard, Iris Johansen, Sandra Brown, and she also got into the legal thriller world of John Grisham, Scott Turow, and the like. Thank goodness her occupation gives her some free time, because one day after trading books with an online friend, she found a historical romance chat group and from that moment on her reading world expanded. She learned of such authors as Julia Quinn, Mary Jo Putney, Catherine Anderson, Melody Thomas, Victoria Alexander, and so many others.

Not long after this Sandy picked up a book by one of her favorites, Linda Howard’s Son of the Morning.  A book that threw the heroine back in time to meet her hero. Sandy was enthralled and began looking for any time travel book there was to find. From there Karen Marie Moning, Diana Gabaldon, Lynn Kurland, Sandy Blair, among others, were added to her wishlist, and then came the werewolves, the vampires, the ghosts, the witches by such authors as Kresley Cole, Amanda Ashley, J.R. Ward, Susan Krinard, and a host of others.

Now with a library of her own in her cozy lighthouse, Sandy reads about 20 books a month while waiting for her knight in shining armor to travel through time and carry her away to their Happily Ever After.

The End

Review: All Through the Night by Suzanne Brockmann

Alicia’s review of All Through the Night by Suzanne Brockmann
Romantic Suspense published hardcover 30 Oct 07 from Ballantine

This is the spot where I say why I picked up the book. Duh. I’ve been waiting to read Jules’ story for years. All Through the Night does not stand alone. I’m writing this review assuming you’ve been reading Suzanne Brockmann’s Troubleshooter series, already.

It’s Christmastime in Boston, and this year the silver bells will be wedding bells as FBI agent Jules Cassidy ties the knot with the man of his dreams, Hollywood heartthrob Robin Chadwick.

The pair plan a quiet, intimate ceremony, to be witnessed by family and close friends from the FBI, SEAL Team Sixteen, and Troubleshooters, Incorporated, including Sam Starrett and Alyssa Locke. But the holiday season brings more to the happy couple than they expect.

A waterfall coming through their kitchen ceiling, a bat colony in the attic, old family tensions.even an international incident can’t dampen their spirits. But add to that a parade of unexpected guests, including a reporter looking for a scoop, an ex-lover hell-bent on causing trouble, and a dangerous stalker, and suddenly the wedding is poised to unravel in chaos.

But nothing will stop Jules and Robin from getting their happy ending, because along with a guest list featuring the most elite counterterrorism force in the world, they have their own secret weapon - true love.

read an excerpt

How this book hits will depend on where you’re coming from. This is not the first Brockmann book to try if you’re not a fan, already. There is some suspense but every aspect of the plot has the sole purpose of resolving Jules and Robin’s relationship.

There’s a terrorist incident that feels kind of just stuck in there. It shows how that aspect of Jules’ job is going to affect their relationship. There’s a stalker but he’s just there to force the Adam issue. There is a secondary romance which I enjoyed a lot but even that was involved with Jules and Robin. If you’re looking for classic Suzanne Brockmann romantic suspense you may be disappointed.

On the other hand, this is Jules’ story! I had no problem with everything being about the romance. I loved seeing Jules so happy and I totally believed Robin had it together. When a story is built up this much there’s a danger that the realization of the HEA will fall short of my expectation. The end of All Through the Night left me with a good, solid, satisfied feeling.

So, bearing in mind the grading system here says a “C” is still a good book, that’s where I’m going with this one. There are a lot of things that feel sort of cheated in the story but they were sacrificed for a worthy cause. If you are a Troubleshooters fan, don’t miss All Through the Night.

Grade: C+

Movie Review: “Enchanted” directed by Kevin Lima

Gwen’s review of Enchanted directed by Kevin Lima
Live-action/animated movie released 21 Nov 07 by Andalasia Productions

Blurb:

In an animated fairy tale world, a young girl meets and falls in love with the handsome prince of her dreams. News of this romance upsets the prince’s mother, the evil queen, who uses her black magic to send the girl hurtling out of the animated world into the one place in the universe where there is no true love: modern day Manhattan. The now-real girl has to survive in New York City and find her way home again to her true love.

Watch the trailer.

I saw this film this weekend with my 8-year old daughter.  We went on a complete whim.  We just left her father at the airport so he could return to England where he lives, and the curtain-climber was sad.  So we showed up at the theater with no clear plan and no idea what was showing.  Boy did we get lucky.  Enchanted was worth every penny of the matinee-priced tickets and then some.  Even if I had had to pay for the full-priced tickets, I would have been happy.  It was that good.

What I think I liked the most about the film was it didn’t take itself too seriously.  It was not openly a farce, but neither did it try too hard.  Plus it had the most wonderful HEA(s) I’ve seen in a long while. 

Amy Adams was AMAZING as Giselle.  I loved her character.  Susan Sarandon was a wonderful villain.  Timothy Spall (Nathaniel) played a very good henchman - actually a bit sad.  Patrick Dempsey and James Marsden were both very good heroes.  Pip, the chipmunk, was very funny in New York.

The romance was believable and so nicely done, I was smiling like a besotted idiot at the end.  In addition to being completely suitable for kids, it would make a terrific date night movie - I’d be shocked if you’re not feeling romantic at the end.

I totally recommend this movie, whether or not you have kids.  You will not regret the entertainment dollars spent.

Grade: A+

The Forecast Calls for Winners…

C O N G R A T S

Stacy S

Pam P

Laura J

Darla

RandomRanter

Please email us your address info to get your copy of Forecast by Jane Tara.

Remember these are coming from Dorchester so they will be unsigned. Thanks for playing! And thanks to Dorchester for the great books.

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