Shannon C.’s review of Satisfaction Guaranteed by Isabel Drake
Contemporary romance eBook released by Cerridwen Press Jan 08
I knew going into this book that I wasn’t going to like it. After about paragraph two, I had to stop, remove my jaw from the floor, sigh and shake my head. After all, the e-mail I got from Sybil with the review copy of this book said, “It’s probably more Laura’s taste than yours.” Did I listen to Sybil? Of course not. That will teach me! So, naturally, I only had myself to blame for continuing to read.
Elizabeth Sewell wants a change in her life. Finding a man is on her list of goals, and if she doesn’t, then her mother, her sisters, even her great-Aunt Alice will try to set her up with whoever is available, which sounds about as appealing to Elizabeth as bathing in Listerine. So she decides to do what you or I would do in this situation, by which, of course I mean, that she marches herself to the office of an escort service.
Only, the escort service isn’t in that office anymore and instead she gets Jack Harley, attorney at law. Since disabusing her of the notion that she walked into the right office would mean there would be no more story, Jack decides to look on Elizabeth as a challenge, and goes along with her assumption that he is a male escort.
First of all, can I just say that Jack Harley is the kind of name only found in a romance novel? Every time I read the name, I tended to picture one of those guys who does the voice-overs for movie trailers saying it. “Jack Harley. Attorney at law.” in this big bass voice of doom.
Anyway, as has become abundantly clear I’m sure from my yattering, I couldn’t get past the initial premise. I thought Jack not telling Elizabeth who he was right away made him come off as really sleazy, and all his hand-wringing about how he didn’t lie to people like that ordinarily just made me roll my eyes and think unfair and uncharitable thoughts about his chosen profession and how, in hindsight, Elizabeth probably shouldn’t have been all that surprised.
As for Elizabeth, we’ve seen her many other times before in other books. Of course she works too hard. Of course she wants to advance in her career and doesn’t have any idea how to attract men. And of course she vacillates between bitchiness and being a doormat, so of course she drove me out of my flipping gourd. A lot of the time I felt like Elizabeth wasn’t so much a character as a place holder for the reader, which of course never works for me when it feels that obvious. She gets to live a lot of female fantasies–she gets a caring man who will bring out her feminine side who she can show off to her family.
Probably because I didn’t buy the initial premise, I had a hard time believing any of the romantic stuff between Elizabeth and Jack. There were a lot of sex scenes for a Cerridwen Press book, and I actually fell asleep reading their first sexual encounter. I wasn’t invested in the characters and didn’t particularly care about their HEA.
As for the secondary characters, most of them are stereotypes in one way or another. I expect Jack’s cousin is sequel-bait, and we have the whole gammut of uncaring bosses, evil co-workers, meddling relatives, and best friends to contend with.
I regret to say that I didn’t enjoy this book at all. With the flat characters, the premise I couldn’t get past, and my general ennui about the whole thing, this is one I can’t recommend.
Grade: F
Workaholic accountant Elizabeth Sewell needs a man. According to her well-laid-out lifeplan, it’s time to find Mr. Right and move on to the next phase of her life — married with children. The problem is, she’s been so busy working her way up the career ladder, she won’t spot Mr. Right even if he’s carrying a neon sign. So, being an organized businesswoman, she comes up with a strategy. She’ll hire a man to teach her what she needs to know to get what she wants.
Disillusioned attorney Jack Harley needs a distraction. He’s left behind a high-pressure job with a prestigious law firm in Dallas and he’s determined to get his life back on track by opening a private practice in Houston. When a sexy brunette mistakes his new office for the recently relocated escort service, he’s stunned silent by her request for a variety of men and experiences. But when she asks him if he’s man enough to uncover what turns her on, he finds his voice in time to accept the challenge.
You can read an excerpt here.
