Shannon C.’s review of Accustomed to His Fangs by December Quinn
Contemporary paranormal erotic romance eBook released by Ellora’s Cave 1 Sep 08
The one sub-genre of romance that I tend not to read often is comedy. I just don’t find most wacky hijinks particularly amusing, and I find “Oh, look what an idiot the heroine is” stories tedious. But I like December Quinn’s writing in general, and I also love the fish-out-of-water storyline, so I thought I’d give her latest EC release a try. And, sadly, I wasn’t laughing.
Rebecca is an image consultant to the stars. When she meets Sebastian, a vampire from a small Eastern European nation, she decides to make him over. The first thing she wants to do is get rid of his mullet. Then she’ll work on his use of contractions, and eventually, she hopes to pass him off as a sophisticated foreign gentleman. Plus, he’s good in bed, and she can enjoy a little sexoring on the side. So… everybody benefits.
I may have read a heroine in a book that I disliked more than I disliked Rebecca, but I can’t offhand remember when. I like my heroines to have character flaws, but being a shallow, selfish, manipulative, mercenary bitch brings the character from flawed straight into so obnoxious I really wanted to stab her in the eye. She spent so much time absorbed in her own little world that I really wanted Sebastian to just get rid of her and find someone else, because he certainly deserved it.
Sebastian, for his part, is wonderful and sweet and beta. I loved the glimpses we got of his homeland, and I loved his adorable cluelessness about the 21st century. I liked that he had the patience to put up with Rebecca, but I thought he should have left her way the hell sooner than he did, and she didn’t grovel enough to satisfy me. The sex between these two is certainly hot, but my actual hatred for Rebecca made it so I couldn’t appreciate it.
There were a few moments where I laughed out loud. The humor is quite sly in places, which is what I prefer anyway. I especially loved the little digs at popular vampire romance clichés.
I wish I’d have liked this book better. I enjoy Ms. Quinn’s writing voice, but I definitely think she’s got better heroines than the horrible bitch that is Rebecca. But if you do want to read this book, definitely read it for the sly humor and the wonderful hero.
Grade: C
Summary:
When image consultant Rebecca meets Sebastian, a vampire from a small Eastern European country, her first thought is how much better he’d look without that mullet. Her second thought is that no matter how silly his hairdo is, he’s incredibly hot — the perfect one-night stand.And he is perfect, in more ways than one. Not only do they share the most amazing sex she’s ever had, Sebastian is rich and needs some serious help with his lame, old-fashioned image. It’s the perfect job for Becky, and she’s so confident she can make Sebastian cool she bets her ex-husband a weekend of hot sex that Sebastian will charm the snootiest social lions at the next charity ball.
But Sebastian wants to be more than just a client. He wants Becky to be his, forever, and he’ll do anything to win her. Getting into her bed was easy. Getting into her heart is the biggest challenge he’s ever faced.
Read an excerpt.
