It’s interesting the things one can find while surfing the net. I came across this list on MSN.com that, from what I can tell was originally published in Esquire magazine. As a peek into the male brain, it’s kind of interesting. Skills to master that stand out to me are #1 – Give advice that matters in one sentence, #19 – Approach a woman out of his league, #22 – Give a woman an orgasm so that he doesn’t have to ask after it, #31 – Make a bed, #57 – Explain what a light year is, and #73 – Caress a woman’s neck.
Some things on the list are rather practical, including changing a tire, knowing how to sew a button, and tie a bow tie. One would think that these things are pretty standard in any man’s education. Or maybe not. I probably could get into a discussion about the expectations men have for themselves vs what women expect of men, but hell, that’d take way too long. And really, it’s more what you can expect of yourself than anything else, yes?
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Instead I’d like to make a list of things I think that a woman should master during her life. It’s not something that every college grad should know when they enter the world and the workforce, but it’s some skills that I’ve picked up and things I’ve seen from my female role models in their lives. I am, by all accounts (or at least Syb), like 12 and so haven’t really lived yet, but still, things that are good to know:
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1. Know how to drive a stick shift. Right, well here’s the thing, yes men find it sexy, but do you want to be the DD at a party or event or function or whatever and find out you’re driving someone’s car that has a different transmission and thus let loose danger on the road? Not a good idea, and a perk of a standard transmission is they’re cheaper, last longer, and can save on gas mileage. |
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2. Be able to take a compliment. While this should be something that everyone can do, most women of my acquaintance can’t. To take a compliment you should look the person in the eye, say thank you and then change the subject. Any quibbling or the usual “Oh, well no I’m not” comes off as false modesty, and talking about yourself in relation to said compliment is usually seen as conciet. A simple thank you always works and shows class. |
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3. Seriously, it’s just a bug. Or some dirt, or whatever. Humans survived a lot longer on earth without any ideas of germs or being squeamish about bugs. Squash it, wash it, move on. |
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4. Know how to rob Peter to pay Paul. My grandmother was the manager of a house of four children and a husband who worked a decent job and made a decent living. But sometimes you need to pay one bill and not another or whatever. It’s more than having things, it’s the needs of survival. Think about those things before you max out the credit card on wants. |
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5. Know how to bake. Be it a cake, a pie, cookies or something, it should be from scratch. Makes it taste twice as good because you know what went into it rather than unwrapping something. Sure, boxes and mixes are easier, but that job well done feeling is better. I’m a pie baker myself, my Gram taught me the foolproof way to make spectacular crust. |
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6. Have an accomplishment. What’s this? Those pesky things that historical heroines know how to do. Embroider, knit, play an instrument, garden, or even, yep, baking. |
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7. Have a plan. Have a dream. Make them meet somewhere down the road. |
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8. Tell your family how much they mean to you. This can be none at all to the whole world, but if you don’t, how will you feel when they’re gone and they never knew how you felt? Think about it. |
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9. Be able to drink. This is not a hold your liquor in a contest with a naval Master Chief sort of thing. Know your limits. Know how different drinks affect you. Know how not to over do things in social or work situations. |
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10. Move away from home. As much as I love my mother, my college years and living on my own has helped me depend on myself and be independent. Do I lean on her? Absolutely. But I’m not afraid of life without her nearby. |
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11. Own a stocked toolbox. You never know when you’ll need something. |
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12. Have a friend who is handy with tools, or carpentry, or plumbing. |
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13. Have a different friend who is a computer whiz. |
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14. Be able to parallel park. My mother always told me men are good for two things: parallel parking and getting out of bed in the winter to turn up the heat. Parallel parking goes along with driving a stick shift though, know how to do it and you’re set for driving anywhere. |
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15. Know how to work a grill. Man’s domain? Whatever! If you can cook in the kitchen, grilling is easy. Just remember the heat rule: Hold your hand over the middle of the fire. Count the seconds until it’s too hot and you need to move your hand. 2 seconds is high heat, 4 medium, 6 low. Go from there. |
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16. Go camping. Yep, you gotta own a tent, a sleeping bag and an ice chest. Camp stoves and cots optional. Go to the country somewhere, or a park, pitch your tent, light a fire (someone else can do this though, but lighting a fire is on that Esquire list, so learn something new), roast a marshmallow and commune with the crickets. |
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17. Bigger is not better. SUVs guzzle gas, big companies can be corrupt (not always, but look at Enron), that giant tv looks more fuzzy than anything and the giant cookie you baked exploded in your oven. Size, indeed, matters. |
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18. Know your geography. Seriously, continents, oceans, major countries, landmarks, and major cities. Show people you don’t live in a hole. |
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19. Be somebody. I coulda been a contender, I coulda been somebody? No. But just act like you have sense and you respect yourself. You’ve got worth, show it. |
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20. Make something foreign and know how to pronounce it. It does more than impresses people at parties, it shows you appreciate things that come from other places. You like the world. You may not have been there, but this makes you think of it. |
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21. Have a list of places you want to see before you die. You have a plan, you have a vision, and you see there is more to the world than what you live in, grew up in and know. Go there, just once. |
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22. Have a walk. In high heels, in flats, in something. Have a walk that makes an impression and may even cause a double take. |
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23. Fail at something. Learn from it, pick yourself up, move on. You know now how to deal with adversity. Go you. |
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24. Know that Christopher Columbus was a son of a bitch. |
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25. Know how to take a good idea. I took that last one from that other list. Why? It makes a great point. Oh, and History can lie to you, so don’t see the past or even your heroes through rose colored glasses. Plus you give a compliment to the person you borrowed it from, shows you’re willing to work with other people’s ideas. |
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26. Be able to admit that you’re waiting for Prince Charming. |
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27. Know fashion. What a classic is, what colors go with your skin tone, what styles fit you, and what you can spend your paycheck on to know that it will last more than 5 minutes. Know What Not to Wear. |
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28. Listen to the advice of someone who has been there, done that. Take that advice because they know what you’re going to do, what’s going to happen, and how it’s going to make things in your life. They’re giving the advice to help ’cause they care (in most cases). |
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29. Be a geek about something. Be it fashion, movies, books, a TV show or food. Know your stuff. Talk about it like it’s better than sex. I’m a history nerd. It’s my thing. It plays into everything else. Why do you think I copied that one about Christopher Columbus? Don’t judge me. |
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30. Be able to take care of something else. Apartment? Pet? Plant? Can you invest yourself into something else? Make sure it lives? |
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31. Have something that belonged to an ancestor. A plate, a recipe, a piece of furniture. Know where you come from. |
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32. Be able to walk in high heels. Even if you only own one pair because it’s the only pair that you’ve ever been able to walk in, make your feet look good or even don’t hurt. |
While this list is by no means a mantra, mission statement, or orders for you to follow, it is something that I try to do. And it’s probably not complete, because, again, this is just my experience. And I’m like 12. Ok, so I’ll be 25 in a month, and I’ve got lots of things to experience.
What are skills that are on your list everyone should master at some point in their lives?
Just a plug that National Wildlife Federation is sponsoring the Great Backyard Campout at the end of June. What a great time to check “go camping” off your list. (btw, I whole-heartedly agree with the inclusion of this. I became a convert last summer and hope I don’t ever forget how amazing it is to wake up in the middle of the night because a coon’s splashing in the creek beyond the tent.)
One to add? Read a map.
Oh Susan – DEFINITELY read a map! And not one of those Garmin things that talks a map to you. Read a for-real map printed on paper.
Here’s one: Know how to check your vehicle’s oil level, tire pressure, and washer fluid – and how to add to all three. It’s one thing to get a brother/boyfriend/father/neighbor to help with these things. But there will be times when none of the above are around and you need to maintain the investment you have in the car/truck/whatevah.
I would comment, but if you’re 12 I don’t want to know how old I am . . . 6?
Great post Lawson! I’d like to add:
Know how to change a tyre I’ve had flats twice (once on a highway a looong way from civilisation!) and both times I’ve changed the tyre on my own. My Mother in Law taught me!
Learn to enjoy your own company You don’t need to be busy and surrounded by people all the time, enjoy just being quiet and alone.
Interesting list, Lawson. I want to learn how to drive stick but nobody has/will teach me :'(. I HATE bugs. HATE. If I’m home alone, I’ll deal with it. But I still, will forever, hate all bugs. End of story.
[I’m trying to figure out “what would count” as an accomplishment and if I’m accomplished… :P]
Josie – good call on the tires. Although… I don’t know how to change mine. I am prepared, however, in that I have a AAA membership. Too many tire changing deaths.
Women should know how to play poker and pool, and they should know the basic rules of major sports. The former because men always assume we don’t know how (think of that episode of “Friends” when they’re learning to play poker but just keep sharing cards), and the latter because it just…helps. No need to be a fan, but it’s nice to be able to speak the male language. It’s also kinda nice to know more about one sport than your partner does. Mine, for example, is Indycar racing. Don’t know why, but I can speak on the topic with authority. It impresses my hubby.
I have been camping many times and I HATE it! In fact I need a new reason to avoid it this summer since the baby is now old enough to go.
I’m old enough that I’ve done all of those.
On #12 though, I would add: know how to do basic simple home repairs yourself.
Walk in heels? I so hate them. But I can do it. 🙂
#26. I would add: be willing to admit that the one you are with is as prince charming as you’re gonna get and enjoy him.
On my list there would be: do something totally wild and crazy and out of character just once, for the thrill of it, and to see that you can do things that you thought you never could.
I totally understand knowing something about sports. At least you’ll know enough to follow the game and know when to cheer.
Looks like someone had fun with the pictures too. 🙂
Totally second the bit about sports. Doesn’t matter what sport, doesn’t matter what team/player you follow; sports are the ultimate conversation starter with men.
I would also add, be able to calculate a 15%, 18% and 20% tip in your head. It’s not that hard and it makes you look amazingly smart in front of other people (who are surreptitiously scribbling numbers on their palm or napkin trying to figure out what they should tip)
Lemme see…1, 3, 4, 6…
12–I’m the friend 😀
17–I ride a bike with a trailer; not only no gas expense, but great for the legs and the lungs 😉
23–yikes, a long list of those… hope I’ve learned something from each
26–found him!
Great list, Lawson! and yes, between last night and now, someone added great visuals :chuckling:
Have a good weekend, everyone.
I need to work on 8, 11, 14, 18 (well, I’m fab at theoretical geography but I suck at navigation), 21, 23, 28.
I can change a tire (in theory, never actually done it).
I can play both poker (texas hold ’em and five card stud) and pool, but I know few major sports rules. HATE HATE HATE them but family drags me to games.
When I’m in the dorm I get free pool . . . the tables and sticks are old and worn, but I still miss it.
🙂 random: I love baking – I think one of my proudest moments may have been making a pavlova by hand. Probably will never repeat that experience in my life. – but It so amused me that #5 shows a waffle. Probably would have been better only if it was a pizzelle. (Still that looks delicious…)