As usual, this post is brought to you by the department of Let’s Please Give Shannon something else to do…
I wonder what reviews would look like if Shakespeare had been around in the age of the Internet. Would they be something like this?
Honestly, the hero and heroine in Romeo and Juliet didst not worketh for me as well as other of the bard’s romantic couples. In fact, I believeth that Shakespeare hath jumped the shark. Gone are the days of A Midsummer Night’s Dream and Much Ado About Nothing. In the bard’s latest installment, Romeo and Juliet we are plagued with a heroine who is too stupid to live. Yea verily, I wanted to strangle her. As for Romeo, wherefore did he haveth to end up with that stupid slut Juliet? It was obvious from the sexual tension between himself and Mercutio that Romeo did loveth the men. I am afraid I cannot giveth this folio a grade higher than a C+.
Feel free to lambast me in comments for not getting my 17th century English vernacular right, for not understanding the bard at all, and for getting the chronology of his plays wrong. Or, you know, alternately, post up your own parody reviews of classics in the comments.
ShannonC, I lovest thou.
(and lambast me all you want, English ain’t my first language anyway)
It was obvious from the sexual tension between himself and Mercutio that Romeo did loveth the men
Now there’s the twist I was waiting for! Should I start a new V/B bitchfest? IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN!!!
**snicker**
Thou didst do an admirable work of slamming dear Will. He deserves it after the gloominess that is King Lear.
LOL I loved how you used “now speak” mixed with “Shakespearean English” I know, unintentionally… but I’m amused. 😀
This reminds me, I had this passage in Private Arrangements.
Personally, I’ve always wondered whether Romeo and Juliet would have managed as a couple had they lived. I mean the day Romeo met her he was pining away for someone else. And she is thirteen.