Friday night, I was channel surfing, looking for something to have on in the background while I worked on a post. Suddenly, I came across a movie that I was starting to think existed only in the murky recesses of my fevered brain. A movie so ridiculous, so strange, I must’ve dreamed it up. It was “Legend.” Anyone seen it? An extremely young and miscast Tom Cruise, dressed like Peter Pan, frolicking in a merry woode? Unicorns, elves, goblins that look just like the Leprechaun, Ferris Bueller’s girlfriend? Constant, disturbing yelping in the background? Classic fantasy cheese.
Though we’re at no loss for 80’snostalgia, the subgenre of campy, medieval, swords-and-sorcery fantasy flicks often gets overlooked, IMHO. I mean really, how often can we talk about Heathers and John Hughes movies? [Well, pretty often, actually. I never pass up a re-airing of Sixteen Candles.] But fantasy films had just as much influence on the reader, and adult, I was to become.
There were the great ones, like Labyrinth. David Bowie, incredibly sexy despite huge hair, set my tween heart aflutter. I couldn’t understand why Jennifer Connelly didn’t stay to be his Goblin queen. And freaky muppets! Or Lady Hawke, which managed to be awesome despite the weird power rock soundtrack and odd casting of Michelle Pfeiffer and Matthew Broderick. Was it just me, or was Rutger Hauer both incredibly creepy and incredibly hot?
I watched Willow about a thousand times for Val Kilmer as roguish warrior Madmartigan. Ah Val, what happened to you? I was an Iceman girl. I’ve even watched The Saint. More than once. Willow was a great flick, with adventure, romance, and a cute little baby. I saw The Princess Bride three times in the movie theatre, back when I was in the sixth grade. A slightly different animal of course, definitely tongue in cheek, but “As You Wish?” Sigh.
There were others, of course, perhaps not as memorable, but deserving of a mention. Dragonslayer had Peter MacNicol (yuck) saving virgins from a fate worse than death, that is, being eaten by a dragon or something. All I remember from Excalibur (Arthur, of course) is that I think it was the first time I saw a man’s butt onscreen. Lancelot and Guinevere were doing it in the woods. I may be wrong about that, though, I might have to double check for research purposes.
I never watched The Dark Crystal, looked too scary. Even at seven, perhaps I knew that it was just no good without man-candy. And let’s not get started on the Conan movies. Or Beastmaster. Good times, good times.
When vampires, werewolves, demons and ghosts were still way too scary, mechanical dragons, beautiful princesses, little people in costume and Celtic music were more than enough to feed my imagination. I figure that’s where I learned the value of a sweaty, well built man with long hair, brandishing a big sword. Epic struggles of good and evil, passionate romance, noble quests-it all fed my future reading tastes.
I also blame these movies for igniting an obsession with the Middle Ages, leading to FIVE years of Latin lessons, and a particularly useless Liberal Arts education. These days fantasy movies seem to be relegated to the kids. I think Peter Jackson and LOTR set the bar too high. But how I long for simpler days, when cute actors vaguely attempted British accents, wore tunics, and made out in magickal forests.
How about you? Love fantasy movies? Hate ‘em? Will the Willow fans please stand up?
(While trying to think up a title for this post, my husband suggested “Movies that make you want to kill yourself.” Agree? Disagree?)
I’m with you. Totally into those flicks, although less so now that I’m older (but that could be because there aren’t as many being made).
And yes, Willow was a great flick, if only because Val Kilmer made it so. What a great character he played. Mad Martigan.
Everything else about the movie sucked. But Mad Martigan was a scream.
Oh, I love me some good fantasy movies! Princess Bride is one of my all-time favorites. It’s infinitely quotable. Inconceivable … as you wish … you’ve been mostly dead all day … I could go on. I watch it every single time it’s on TV.
I actually blogged about some of my guilty movie and TV pleasures last week (James Bond, The A-Team, etc.) Princess Bride was near the top of my list.
Like Susan, I liked Willow just because of Val Kilmer. He was so cool in that movie. Sigh. And yes, I’ve watched The Saint, too. 😉
I loved Willow! Mad Martigan!I had teenage dreams about him for many many moons. I think I have seen Lady Hawk about a million times. We even named our little finches Isaboe and Nevar. My favorite scene is when they are in the ice, and they only get a tiny glimpse of eachother before she turns into a hawk.
Legend was… odd. But I have to wonder if Cruise’s odd character is closer to his REAL weirdness. hee
Now, Labyrinth? LOOOOOVED it! Surprisingly sensual/sexual undertones to it wasn’t there? And, oh yeah, Bowie was sooo charismatic and spellbinding. I remember they had the guy that actually maipulated those glass globes on some show. He said he crouched down behind Bowie and put his arms under Bowie’s arms so it looked it was really Bowie’s hands holding the globes. So this guy did all that mesmerizing globe manipulation without even being able to see what he was doing!
Oh and Marc Singer as the Beastmaster? YUM.
And since it dates me as a fossil, the first nekkid man butt I ever saw onscreen was in 6th Grade. Romeo and Juliet. Olivia Hussey and (IIRC) Leonard Whiting (?) not sure of that name, but damn cute butt that I can still picture to this day.
Susan, Jennifer–Yay! Madmartigan was teh awesome. Val Kilmer was a very charismatic actor. And hot. When an evil friend (or sister, can’t remember who) sent me a fat pic of him I nearly wept.
Misty G–I love that part! Such a good movie.
I KNOW. I was 10 or 11 watching that movie, and I was like whoa. I knew Jennifer Connelly was meant to be 12 or 13 or so, and creepy, but man, if there wasn’t some chemistry between them!
I had a hankering to watch it about a year ago, after I read a Michelle Pillow trilogy that kinda reminded me of the movie. I couldn’t find it anywhere. Then right after Christmas, I got it at Target for 7.50. SCORE! I may break it out tonight, as I haven’t actually watched it yet.
Oh, I can’t help myself. Ya’ll have probably seen these already but…[Do not click if you want to hold onto your Val Kilmer memories]
The Iceman Ageth
I can’t believe someone took the time to make this
Bev – they showed us the Olivia Hussey version of R&J when I was in high school. They, of course, turned the projector lamp off during the nekkid butt scene, and we only had sound. But, ohmigosh, were we tittilated or WHAT! It was almost worse with them turning it off! 🙂
Hee, they stood in front of the tv while fast forwarding when I was in HS.
David Bowie in tights!! I so wanted him to take me to his lair.
And those steps! Awesome!
Legend was one trippy movie.
Whew! All my sci fi loving buddies are so scornful of Labyrinth and most especially Willow. I loved those movies. I’ve seen them dozens of times. I even remember when I finally realized that the dorky guy in Legend was Tom Cruise. Ah, memories. Of course, unlike you guys, I was (considerably) older when I first saw them!
Shhhh! Nobody tell Jackie L. how old we are! She thinks we’re young!
😆
I never saw Willow myself, but I did love Excalibur, and, Bev, you’re right, Marc Singer was something else as the Beastmaster. I can still see that nekkid body of his!
I know I’m probably the only one on the planet, but I liked Kevin Costner’s Robin Hood. I also liked the older Sean Connery version, Robin and Marion, eons ago. And speaking of Connnery, I liked Highlander with Christopher Lambert, the movie, and the TV series with Adrian Paul.
Kilmer was quite nice in The Saint!
The Never Ending Story
Highlander! The Never Ending Story! Keep ’em coming!
Sandy, I’ve got a bit of a soft spot for Robin Hood myself, mostly b/c I like RH retellings. I’ve even seen the one w/Sean Connery and Richard Gere and that was pretty dumb.
Oooh! So many movies I need to add to my Netflix. I had forgotten about a ton of them.
The Princess Bride is the ultimate is sweet cheesey goodness. My best friend is getting maried in two weeks and they have rented out a theater during the time between the ceremony and the reception. The guests are invited to go to the theater to watch the Princess Bride during the down time while the bridal party is stuck doing pictures. Makes me (almost) wish I was simply a guest 🙂
I remember being about 10 y/o when Labrynth came out. I thought David Bowie was creepy. He gave me a “funny feeling”. Uh. That would be a sweet naive kid’s reaction to the omgwtf chemistry between the characters. Because of that I have never rewatched it. I should probably give it another shot.
Now, when it came to Robin Hood (yes, I loved it. Shut up!) it was not Kevin Costner that appealed to me. Alan Rickman was so fabulously evil. I’m not sure what that says about me…
Great idea!
I’ve still yet to re-watch Labyrinth. Check back in with your grown up reactions. The last time I watched was about 10 years ago myself. My pothead friends were fans.
No worries. Everybody knows Rickman stole that movie out from under Costner. I’d be more concerned if you thought Costner was hotter than Rickman.
I’ve only seen Labyrinth, I think – but in 5th grade :X. Or maybe that was a different movie… haha- but the subject of this post, I couldn’t help but chuckle b/c a friend got Beowulf on DVD yesterday and tried to get us to watch it… hehe – and I’ve never been able to keep a straight face with the whole 8′ giant sword thing…