Sandy M’s review of Try Not to Breathe by Jennifer R. Hubbard
Young Adult published by Viking Juvenile 19 Jan 12
As most of you who read my reviews know, I’m not a stickler for accuracy or total believability and realism in my romance novels. That doesn’t mean a lot to me when given terrific characters and an intriguing storyline. I have to say, however, in this instance with Jennifer Hubbard’s young adult book, all of those elements are well done when it comes to teen suicide.
The best parts of this book for me are those dealing with both Ryan’s sarcastic humor and his reaction to people, including his parents, when faced with attempted suicide. Then there’s his parents’ reactions to both the attempt and the aftermath. I find these to be quite believable and real. It makes me wonder how close to home the author has experienced these things in her book. It just seems more than good research has put the pain and emotion in this story.
At first I wondered why Ryan’s attempt at suicide is really hardly an attempt at all. He is depressed, has the usual teenage issues, and when he thinks about killing himself, he chooses to do so in the family car in the garage, with a towel wedged under the door to the house to block any effect on his mother inside. But the car runs only a minute, two at the most, and then his father comes home, interrupting Ryan’s plans. All hell breaks loose and he ends up at a mental hospital. It’s later during scenes with his parents, both together and separately, that it becomes clear to me it doesn’t matter to them how long or how half-hearted the attempt was. This is their son. He tried to kill himself. They don’t know why. They don’t know what to do with him or around him after he comes home. Those scenes are intense, especially with Ryan’s mother when she breaks down while talking to him. His father now seems to listen to him more when they sit down together for their father-son ballgames on TV.
Ryan’s favorite place is a waterfall near his home, especially when kids at school back away and stare now that they know what he tried to do. There’s a peacefulness at the falls for Ryan, and it’s where he meets Nicki. She’s the only one who doesn’t sensor what she says to Ryan, doesn’t wince if the wrong is said or implied, doesn’t think he’s that sensitive anymore when it comes to his depression and subsequent decision. In fact, she wants to talk about his suicide attempt, wants to know what he felt, why he did it, did he leave a note. Not wanting to talk about it himself, Ryan tries to dodge Nicki’s questions, but when he learns her father killed himself, he relents and tells her a little, though he knows it won’t be enough for her. His answers are his alone.
Along for the ride to healing with him are Ryan’s friends from the hospital, Jake and Valerie. The three friends have stayed in touch since their releases, and it’s Valerie who Ryan is always thinking about, hoping she feels the same about him. It’s after he accompanies Nicki to see a psychic or two to get her answers about her dad that Ryan finally gets to see Valerie once again. Though she’s too young at fifteen to drive, Nicki handles her brother’s truck like a pro and drops Ryan off to spend a few hours with Val, all of which he wishes never happens after she rebuffs him, thinking they live too far apart for anything to happen between them.
So Ryan turns to the one recent constant in his life – Nicki. Young hormones race and rage, feelings bubble to the surface, more secrets are revealed, and it feels good. For a little while anyway. Just when everything seems to be going right for him, Ryan finds perhaps it was a scam, definitely all a lie. Even his waterfall suddenly becomes tainted by deceit. A friend goes back into the hospital. Will life ever get back on a stable keel for Ryan?
Try Not to Breathe is a very frank look at all sides in the aftermath of a teen suicide attempt, even though it’s from Ryan’s POV. Ms. Hubbard does a terrific job of getting all those sides represented, good and bad. Ryan is a very likable young man, coming out relatively intact after such an event. You feel for him, no matter the situation. A good book to pass to anyone who’s walked in the same steps as Ryan, letting them know, if nothing else, they’re not alone.
Grade: B
Summary:
Ryan spends most of his time alone at the local waterfall because it’s the only thing that makes him feel alive. He’s sixteen, post-suicidal, and trying to figure out what to do with himself after a stint in a mental hospital. Then Nicki barges into his world, brimming with life and energy, and asking questions about Ryan’s depression that no one else has ever been brave enough – or cared enough – to ask. Ryan isn’t sure why he trusts Nicki with his darkest secrets, but that trust turns out to be the catalyst that he desperately needs to start living again.
No excerpt available.
