What Wendy Sez, is pretty much what I think… well I am sure I disagree with something cuz I just roll like that but really I don’t even think I am suppose to be posting this or (pretend it has my sweetness and light icon – I can’t find it). [Gwen ed.: I found it!]
I seriously appreciate the HELL out of her. And might need to have Sandy make her an icon to show her how just how great, grand and wonderful she is.
Blog what you want to blog, impress yourself, appreciate your hard work and do it because you like it – you really fucking like it. Otherwise it is all bullshit. There is no right way to blog, honestly there is no book to follow. Internet fame?? Is that what people are shooting for? Really? That has to be one step below reality tv fame – only a smaller number of people think you are the shit and it generally starts with yourself.
I find it is much easier to just know you are the greatest. And no matter if you are the nicest of people or the meanest of the bad bad grrls, own that shit – good or bad. Or even better don’t worry about it and just talk about the books, life or whatev is on your mind and less ‘this is popular I should blog it’. I recall coming here and finding a home full of people to talk about romance books with, where it wasn’t ‘hard’.
Where people spoke the language and rolled out a welcome mat without a reason in it for themselves – ok FEW had agendas. The god, the bad and the ugly – no holds barred – and the same flamewars going on today (no really). And somehow, somewhere, like wendy said… people seem to have gotten lost (not the flamewars, people just think they are new). Honestly some of them I don’t really give a shit about, others I don’t know, but it is breeding and could choking the life out the community – tis an awesome thing bloggers are better than that – aren’t we? FIND YOUR VOICE.
And that is not saying you can’t be ‘serious’ if that is how you want to run your blog. Or silly… hell I call this the pond and there are duckies (no really there are… ::sniff::). Hell you can even blog for money if you wanna but I do think money changes everything. THERE ARE NO RULES IN BLOGGING.
There shouldn’t be any crying either… own your shit.
Be yourself. I for one would love to know what you have to say, not what you think you ‘should be saying‘. Stop being so SERIOUS and taking every word as a cut to your soul ::deep sigh::. Are blogs honestly a place where you only want agreement and ‘yes!men’? WHY ask what do you think when you don’t want to know?
Oh and if you haven’t noticed Monica Jackson is back. And I have to say has EXCELLENT taste in templates. Good or bad, right or wrong and honestly even if I am to have to play target for her – as I said on her blog – I would rather have 10000 bloggers like monica who are honest (even when pissed) and make mistakes (we all do) than 10000 bloggers playing follow the leader.
Honesty is what I appreciate in a book blogger, what do you appreciate?
I admit, I started blogging here because I thought it would be a good promo thing. I could talk about stuff without doing constant “buy my book” promos which, frankly, bore me, so it must bore other people too.
I carried on because it was – gasp – fun. I love it, love talking about other books, the state of the industry, any other damn thing. Love it. If anyone wanted to pay me for it, I’d say thank you, but I’d put it down as ‘mad money’ so I never had to depend on it. But I just don’t care.
Same with writing. I write because I love writing. If the e-market died overnight and took all my publishers with it, if the Internet was wiped out, I’d still write. I probably wouldn’t bother looking for a publisher. I worked for years like that, wrote stories, typed them up, occasionally sent them off to a publisher or agent, but most times I couldn’t be arsed.
This is fun. Writing is fun. When it stops being fun, I’ll stop, because I’m not forcing it.
I think Bloggers spend a lot of time dithering about “content,” when they should really be focusing on “Finding Your Voice.” Of course that’s easier said than done. I’ve been at this game for going on 7 years and I still think there are days where my voice is evolving. I also know that my blog has evolved. I’ve been going back and re-tagging posts and dayum, my blog was very much an “online diary” back in The Dark Ages (heh – 2003).
Hell, I think it took me a good two years to catch my stride – but then I’m a slow learned.
And can I just say I heart the “Wendy is the shit” tag. You need to use it more. Oh, like on every post. Even review posts I have nothing to do with it. Dang, tag the whole site with it. LOL
Agreed. If it becomes an obligation or chore, take a break or blog about something else. Hell, I took four years’ break! 😀 That said, I’m going to hog your blog comment platform to vent about this:
Over last two months I was interested to read some bloggers blogging about other bloggers’ blog posts (hey, we could make a song out of this) until I realised some were using it as an excuse to bash other bloggers for being whatever the hell they were unhappy about. By that I meant some commenters got personal, which rather pissed me off.
Seriously, what the fuck? I wouldn’t like it if someone criticises me *personally* because of my blog or how it’s operated. I’m not holding a gun to your head to read my blog posts. Don’t like it? There are plenty of blogs out there that may be to your taste. You’re still welcome to visit or comment any time you like, though. I feel this respect – or at least courtesy – should apply to all other bloggers and that includes the “major” blogs, such as – let’s not ignore the elephant in the room – Dear Author and Smart Bitches.
I can’t wrap my head around the idea of some people tsking at them. I mean, seriously? They are just book bloggers with their own styles and policies, like everyone else including Sybil here, Wendy, Karen etc.; so why the hell are people going tsk-tsk at almost everything they do? Get over it. Seriously.
Every blog – part-time and full-time – has its share of pluses and minuses, mine included (too chatty and erratic). DA and SBs are no exceptions and likewise for all blogs in blogland. And so what? I like flawed blogs more than perfect blogs. It has its charm, IMO.
The blog scene was tiny back then, so it was pretty much a small pond (with Sybil’s ducks). Now the blog scene is massive, so the current scope allows all bloggers to make their blogs however they want it to be. Industry? Go for it. Positive reviews only? Go for it. Bitchy reviews? Why not? Serious / formal? Go for it. Full of nekkid male models? Why not? Anything goes. Want to bitch or making snide comments about other bloggers? Go for it, but I won’t be there to cheer you on nor would it earn my respect. No fucking way. I respect constructive criticisms hell a lot more than personal sniping by the anonymous.
Blogland is our playground, there is PLENTY of room for everyone, and like Sybil says, there are no rules. I have three strict rules I live by when online: – 1) always gives the credit (taking a link, idea, etc.) – 2) apologise or acknowledge when I’m in the wrong (which happened OFTEN!). – 8) don’t take it personally (ranging from someone tearing my comment into pieces, to someone stomping on my all-time favourite rom). These are my rules and so far, each works. For me at least.
Just do what you feel comfortable doing and enjoy it while you are at it. As long as you’re prepared to stand by what you blog. That’s the whole point of blogging, isn’t it? So lay off criticising the Big Blogs and stop worrying about saying the Right Thing and whether you have the cred or an audience. Just relax!
(cough) I’d better step down from Sybil’s soap box ‘cos she’s about to chuck a plastic duck at my head. Sorry about that. 😀
“Stop being so SERIOUS and taking every word as a cut to your soul ::deep sigh::.”
Amen! =D
Jesus. That was long. Oops. Sorry.
OMG you whore how could you. LOL I haven’t even read the comment but seriously like I care how much space you take up.
Off to read maili’s rant and giggle
“I wouldn’t like it if someone criticises me *personally* because of my blog or how it’s operated. I’m not holding a gun to your head to read my blog posts.”
@maili
Why is this? I know it happens. Jane gets bent whenev anyone questions her, or used too, and I know holds the same (or used too) idea as you do about don’t crit other bloggers. I am more of the mind that toss it out there why can’t you be questioned, crit or yes, even mocked?
Because we are bloggers not authors it is hands off? Where is that written? People are not going to like TGTBTU, some comments I might learn from (at this point there are things I don’t even know going on but that is another blog post) but at the heart of it – it is mine, mine, mine. My call, I don’t mind answering for it or my fuck ups. Or saying thanks we are not for you, don’t come around here no more.
::shrug::
Just have never gotten the I am a reader why are you being mean to me thing…
sorry off to read rest
“Positive reviews only?”
le sigh that makes me cry…
sorry part two off to read again
I tend to think of blogs like magazines (or newspapers). I’m not going to read every single article, because maybe some of them don’t personally interest me. I’m not going to comment on every single article (or post as it were) because maybe I have nothing to say? Or I can’t be arsed that day? Or whatever. There are some things I like and some things I just don’t. Does that mean every blogger should cater ME? No. Of course not. The stuff I don’t like, I don’t follow. I don’t comment. End of story.
Personally? I’m burnt out on paranormal, so you’ll rarely see me commenting on a paranormal romance review. I also don’t like being greeted by nekkid man ass when I blog hop, so I tend to totally skip those blogs. I also don’t “get” #romfail so you know what? I didn’t follow it. I know! Positively shocking!
I tend to tune out the DA and SB backlash. It’s the whole tired “mean girls” thing all over again, just with different targets. I’ve been online long enough to remember when TRR were the “mean girls.” Then AAR. Then Mrs. Giggles. OMG – she was teh evol! Now it’s DA, SB, Karen, etc. Lather, rinse, repeat.
OK, I’ll be honest. Mostly I just want new and different flame wars. There is content I like on DA and SB…..and content I don’t. Just as with any blog. They’re no different from anybody else in that respect.
@Sybil 😀
IMO if reviewers can criticise books without criticising authors, why can’t we treat bloggers and reviewers the same way? Why make it personal? If someone calls you a dumb fuck for writing an editorial like the one above, I’ll have an issue with that person. I would react the same if you get personal with another blogger because of their blog or blog post.
It’s different if it’s to do with a personal action, e.g. a person subscribed you with your email address to every porn site on the internet. You can call that person every name under the sun. It’s fair. (And imo, just. :D)
That’s why I said I respect constructive criticisms hell a lot more than personal sniping. Does it make sense?
I don’t visit positive-only review blogs, but hey, if it works for the others, why not? It was a serious issue in the old days because the blog scene was so small. But now? It’s not an issue any more because there are plenty of review blogs out there. You know?
@Wendy
YES! You said it all. I’m appointing you as my personal speech writer, so we won’t suffer any more long-winded crap from me ever again. 😀
I know I don’t get out much but what SB backlash? Or is that older? And the DA backlash is that where robin is going to blogs talking about romfail haters really being jane haters? And really… haters? That makes me giggle. Why in the hell they didn’t just stand up and say hey yes this is mean we like, be gone before a house falls on you too. Is beyond me.
Isn’t Mrs. Giggles still the evol? LOL I like her blog but tend to never agree with her reviews – she likes I don’t she hates I like. This worries me as she recently liked a book I want to read.
Sybs: Yeah, SB mostly older. Nobody has called them “mean girls” in a while, which means they’re way overdue. The DA stuff is more “current” because of #romfail.
And hell yeah Mrs. G is still teh evol! She’s like, the original evol! And I’m with you, I rarely agree with her on books, but dang I still like reading her reviews (and her blog!)
Now that’s a brill response! I wonder if it’s 140 characters? Why in the hell they didn’t just stand up and say hey yes this is mean we like, be gone before a house falls on you too. If it took a Nora Roberts to wade in to calm the waters though, I’m glad she did 🙂
I’ve been insane all day about misspellings and such: I should just lighten up because what the hell, it’s live on the web, it’s Saturday night! But when you posted “the god, the bad and the ugly” , that really made me smile!
One of the things I most like about the new Borders book site is the chance to hear different blogging voices: Avid Reader, Racy Romance Reviews … Katiebabs coming up. I hope some of the upcoming Friday bloggers will be people who are blasts from the Romancelandia past … or maybe others, like a Mrs. Giggles, who always, imo, keeps it real and interesting. When I first started reading romance, there weren’t very many games in town and my wonderful hometown librarian had a print-out of Mrs. Giggles 90 point plus reviews and she doggedly worked her way through the list … hoping to buy them all for our library system.
Diversity, transparency, shared love of the genre, an authentic voice and a little “Aretha”/respect for other bloggers: that’s what I’m looking for … and frankly, almost always find. It was a treat this morning to follow link after link and discover all sorts of new fresh non-burnt out voices. I always hate when bloggers disappear. Like Ursula LeGuin said (on another topic), it feels like a rip in our universe.
LOLOLOL I so wish I could say that wasn’t a typo, most people prolly think I did it on purpose 😉
Having fun – to me that is the main reason for blogging – having fun and being yourself.
I blog ’cause *g* I really fucking like it!
And somehow it seems wrong that I left a long-winded, long assed comment on Wendy’s post and a two sentence post on yours 🙂 But alas – I used all the brain juice there and there is so very little left now. I explained to someone at work a week or so ago that I start off the day with an empty brain and it starts filling up as the day goes on – so by the end of the day, my brain has reached it’s capacity and must empty itself overnight.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
I just got used to the other format.
LOL
why do I have a blank gray face, hmmm?
Not for sure, but I think it is this http://en.gravatar.com/
we are still working on things 🙂 duckies will be back and the side will change a bit and blah bllah blah
You are too silly Kristie ;).
Are bloggers not supposed to criticize other bloggers? Shit, I didn’t get that memo before I started blogging!
Seriously: if I disagree with something someone does or says, this does NOT mean I automatically dislike them, their blog and all their friends. It doesn’t mean I have an anti-so and so agenda. I had no idea it wasn’t the done thing to disagree with fellow bloggers, big or small. I certainly don’t expect everyone to agree with me. Obviously, personal attacks are a whole other ball game.
Wendy’s magazine analogy is fitting. I don’t read every post at the blogs I visit. I don’t follow every feature or controversy. To be honest, the most interesting thing about romfail was the vicious backlash. Before that happened, I’d just ignored it.
My favourite blogs are those I feel are genuine. The writing style doesn’t have to be of prize-winning quality. What counts is a sense of authenticity.
@SarahT
“Are bloggers not supposed to criticize other bloggers? Shit, I didn’t get that memo before I started blogging! Seriously: if I disagree with something someone does or says, this does NOT mean I automatically dislike them, their blog and all their friends. It doesn’t mean I have an anti-so and so agenda”
(headdesk) I repeat: I respect constructive criticism a lot more than personal sniping. 🙂
Translation: Don’t get personal, as in “SarahT must be a bad mother, spending all her time on her blog instead of looking after her children”.
Constructive criticism, as in “I don’t visit SarahT’s blog because she doesn’t offer anything worth my time.” or “I don’t agree with any of SarahT’s reviews. Her taste is so different from mine”. Your blog post about SBs’ advert is perfectly fine if that’s what concerns you.
As for your comment about ‘friends’ – bwahaha. I held this view long before I knew DA Jane. This view was developed from being engaged in flame wars on RT boards where some authors and their fangirls thought it was all right to attack “anti-romance readers” (the old code word for ‘mean girls’, a name that didn’t exist at the time) so personally.
They thought it was perfectly okay to investigate a blogger’s personal background to report the blogger to the blogger’s employer that the blogger was evil. They thought it was perfectly fine to dog-pile on one reader for saying she wasn’t keen on hero’s behaviour, calling her names, dissecting her online history, making it personal and dressing her down. That reader tried her best to defend herself, but twenty-odd fangirls and an author vs. that reader? Some tried to defend the reader, but it was too much. She disappeared, which was a shame because she was one of most interesting readers I knew.
That’s why I have a very strict view of what’s personal and what isn’t. You can criticise “my friends” – and “my enemies” – all you like, as long as it’s not personal. It’s as simple as that.
Of course, it still doesn’t mean you or others have to adopt my stance or even remember what I said earlier. Remember — there are no rules in blogland. Do whatever you want. 🙂
HAHAHAHAHA! I totally missed all the drama. Enough personal drama going on that this kerfuffle just didn’t register.
Sybil and Wendy are totally my heroes/heroines. I just love having a place to unload my opinions. Otherwise they stack up inside me like gas. Sooner or later they’re going to ‘splode all over the place and make a stink. Better to do it in front of a somewhat accepting crowd.
@Sybil
“I know I don’t get out much but what SB backlash? Or is that older? And the DA backlash is that where robin is going to blogs talking about romfail haters really being jane haters? And really… haters?”
I wasn’t thinking of Robin’s comments (I have my doubts about her theory, that romfail haters = jane haters).
I was thinking of certain respondents’ comments made about Sarah (whom I don’t know well; I knew Candy better), Jane, SarahT, Karen and Jody Wallace. And some uncalled-for comments about LLB (whom I rarely got on with; okay, we fought like cat and dog). Say whatever generic you want about how she used to run AAR, but damn, was it necessary to get personal about her lifestyle?
Their personal comments about these bloggers seriously pissed me off.
“Isn’t Mrs. Giggles still the evol? LOL I like her blog but tend to never agree with her reviews – she likes I don’t she hates I like. This worries me as she recently liked a book I want to read.”
Mrs G was the original Mean Girl, indeed.
@Maili My comment was meant tongue in cheek! I don’t really care if people think I shouldn’t disagree with my fellow bloggers. It’s a very strange viewpoint to hold in a community which prides itself on giving honest reviews, etc.
At first I was exasperated by the whole reaction to the SB ad thing as it was made out (by some) to be an anti-SB agenda on my part. Now I couldn’t care less what people think about that. If it taught me anything , it’s that you can’t please everyone, and some people will look for conspiracy theories where there are none.
I can’t read the term ‘Mean Girls’ without thinking of Lindsay Lohan. And the film sucked.
I appreciate honesty too. Transparency is nice as well, and I think it goes hand in hand with honesty. I’m not into the blog tours or ARC contests (especially when the author/pub says the winner MUST write a review of the ARC she wins). I just like frank discussion about books. It seems so simple, doesn’t it? I don’t know if I’ll ever understand the need for a hobby blogger to have stat counters or search terms.
My favorite blogs are the ones run by honest people who aren’t trying to sell me anything (and yes, I do think of self-promo and hardcore networking as selling).
I *really* want a t-shirt that says I’M POPULAR ON THE INTERNET. 🙂 I love irony.
I get bent if someone criticizes a comment I make … I guess that makes me a bit bent too? I offer an example — Jane of Dear Author reviewed One Scream Away — a new romantic suspense — and I disagreed with her assessment of the romance side of the ledger. And said so in a comment and she replied: “just because the explicit sensuality of the story is low doesn’t make it less romantic for me.”
There’s a point to this post (I think) … her comment, once I got over myself (because my woe-is-me side thought, does everyone think I want books that have the H/H going up in flames?), sent me on a trail of what was really ticking me off about this genre these days. For me, if the heroine goes through utter crap — like Howard’s Dream Man — then I want the romantic side to be equally as vivid and strong and yes, sensual. Which is NOT to say that I don’t also like a book like The Moonspinners or any Helen MacInnes you care to name — for me it’s the balance. If the reader reads, for example, the heroine being tortured by the eeeevil stepfather, the hero better be raising her to the heights, and I better get to read that too. Think the In Death series.
It’s hard, especially without the benefit of voices and hand gestures, to really understand words on a screen.
Hey Sybs – lookie what I found at the top of the post. It was actually on my computer, so I just uploaded it again.
JanetW, I did the same thing with Mrs. G’s 90+ reviews. I bought virtually all of them, and considering how far out of print they were, that took a bit of doing.
@maili I totally missed your comment…people are still making comments about LLB? Hell I didn’t even know she was still around. I don’t even bitch about her and I hell she posted private emails of mine. Odd…
@gwen even if you WERE around, you wouldn’t have noticed…
pppffffttt
(insert sound of Bronx Cheer pointed in Syb’s direction)
:-p