Limecello’s review of He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
Self-help released by Simon Spotlight Entertainment 7 Sep 04 (Re-released in paperback on 6 Jan 09)

This book was written and published in the hey day of the hit show “Sex in the City” — regardless of if you liked it or not, it was big. And especially, one episode, where the line “he’s just not that into you” was delivered. It seems so simple, but obviously, it isn’t. If it were easy, we wouldn’t have all those self-help books (especially the eleventy billion versions of this one), or sad people in shitty relationships. I’ve never read a self-help book (other than this one, if it counts) – I read He’s Just Not That Into You for entertainment, but for much of it, I just kept thinking “yes!” There’s so much common sense packed in this punchy little book, and a lot of quippy lines as well. And yes I posted the hardcover image, because that’s what I have and I like it more – but I linked you to the paperback, because I’ve always got your back when it comes to saving money.

I’ve basically said all that can be said about this book – it describes situations, or rather, “real people” (no idea if this is true – but at least one seems made up) send in letters asking for advice, and Greg answers them. At the end of each “chapter,” both Greg and Liz say their part. Greg is quite optimistic, and Liz is the sympathetic voice. She’s the one that gets it and can commiserate with all the crappy relationships. Although – Greg has also lived it, which I suppose gives him credibility.

Having described the book, really the best thing is to read it. Is it the best self help book out there? I wouldn’t know. But I’m also going to hazard a guess and say “no.” However, it does offer great advice, and if you so choose, I think that could help you rid your life of a lot of drama. Or, you might have a girlfriend – or a number of friends – in crappy relationships, that might need a swift kick in the pants – or the reality check He’s Just Not That Into You offers.

Now, I’m going to share with you some of my favorite lines.

If he has a problem with anything in your relationship, he’s supposed to talk to you about it, not put-his-penis-in-a-strange-vagina about it.

If You Don’t Believe Greg:
100% of guys polled said they had never accidentally slept with anyone. (But many of them wanted to know how this accident could occur, and how they can get involved in such an accident.)

And from another chapter (Uh oh to the romance authors…):

“Bad Boys” are bad because they’re troubled, as in having little self-respect, lots of pent-up anger, loads of self-loathing, complete lack of faith in any kind of loving relationship, but yes, really cool clothes and often a great car. (Ed note: From a former bad boy.)

Next – and I firmly believe a number of these can be applied to platonic relationships as well.

Dear Captive Audience,
You are so lucky to be with such an exciting guy. You get to watch him perform conversational masturbation on you. Hot. He’s clearly as impressed with himself as you are.

And lastly:

…being lonely, being alone, for many people, sucks. I get it, I get it, I get it. But still I have to say, that, yes, my true belief is that being with somebody who makes you feel shitty or doesn’t honor the person you are, is worse.”

I haven’t read this book in a long time – over four years? But I picked it up because the movie comes out today. (When I first heard about it my reaction was wtf? How can they even make a movie of the book? And I still don’t know. I also hate how there’s a clip in the previews that talks about “myspace” equating a booty call. Uh, no. I hate myspace. And also, you don’t know immediately if someone myspaces you. And if you do, your life is sad – read this book.) I’m glad I re-read it. It was entertaining, and fun, and its a feel good read. This isn’t the most brilliant peice of American literature ever written, but it’s still a good reminder for every woman out there. (And maybe guys should read it too, to get a clue.)

Grade: A-

He says:

Oh sure, they say they’re busy. They say that they didn’t have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just that crazy. All lies. With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing, it is almost impossible not to call you. Sometimes I call people from my pants pocket when I don’t even mean to. If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you.

She says:

There is something great about knowing that my only job is to be as happy as I can be about my life, and feel as good as I can about myself, and to lead as full and eventful a life as I can, so that it doesn’t ever feel like I’m just waiting around for some guy to ask me out. And most importantly, it’s good for us all to remember that we don’t need to scheme and plot, or beg anyone to ask us out. We’re fantastic.
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You can listen to an excerpt from the audio book here. (Scroll down).