Nalini Singh, extraordinary author and unstintingly generous romance community member, as well as our next Valenduckie cupid, shares with us her memories of a Japanese holiday all of us gals could get behind.
Don’t forget to catch her latest release, Mine to Possess (Psy-Changelings, Book 4), released by Berkley 5 Feb 08.
White Chocolate
My first Valentine’s Day in Japan (where I lived for three years), was interesting. It seemed like everywhere I turned, people were giving each other chocolates – co-workers were even giving them to the boss! What was up with that?!
Then someone explained to me that these were “obligation chocolates.” Basically, there are certain people you’re expected to give them to on Valentine’s Day. Then of course, there are the normal between-lovers chocolates.
That all made sense. Until I realized that it was only the women doing the giving. That’s. Just. Wrong.
However, after a little investigating, I found out about White Day. Falling one month after Valentine’s Day, it’s the day when the men have to give back. Ooooooooh yes. And funnily enough, when I went to the mall, the White Day chocs looked a lot more fancy and expensive than the Valentine’s ones. 😉
So there you have it, one day for men, one for women. I think personally, I like the all-in-one Valentine’s Day. What about you guys? Who likes the idea of White Day?
Nalini Singh
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White Day huh? I think I like it that the White Day had more expensive and nicer chocolate lol but the all in one day is nice as far as everyone giving to those they want to give to instead of obligated to.. does that make sense 😉 Besides in March I gearing up for St Patricks Day, Bring on the Green lol
~Candice
Hi Nalini! 🙂
I think one day for both genders is best. The guy gets off too easy with the White Day thing. He can base the quality and thoughtfulness of his gift for his lover based on what she gave him the month before? I don’t think so. 😉
Happy Valentine’s Day! 🙂
xoxo
I like the all in one Valentine’s day too. My anniversary is already close enough to V-Day. Having to keep one more day straight with everything that I already have to keep straight would be almost more than I could handle. LOL
Hi Nalini, I lived in Japan for 5 years and I had forgotten about White Day. I too participated in the obligatory Valentines day custom of giving choco to my male co-workers. Only the Japanese ones of course. But I was surprised that on White day it’s also OK for any man to give any women more intimate gifts, like lacy underwear, regardless of relationship. In fact, it was not uncommon for a man who wants a closer relationship to give more personal gifts.
I don’t know if the whole obligatory factor is a good thing. Because all the men that got a Valentine from a woman has to give her one back. It’s the rule! LOL
On the other hand, what’s nice about that is that if you’re a wall flower or a shy guy, it’s an easy opportunity to let someone know how you feel without the pressure.
Personally, I’m not that sentimental and so one Valentines day for both sexes is more than enough. : )
Hmmmm, I’d rather give my sweetie chocolates and leave my boss out of the whole equation. Bosses and Valentines Day just don’t seem to go together in my mind. Of course if I worked for a DarkRiver boss…..
The Japanese practice of Valentine’s Day and White Day is something I’m rather familiar with because I practice it in the States! Minus the White Day, lol. Instead, my friends/coworkers/etc. and I all exchange sweets and flowers on Valentine’s Day. It may be on the side of obligations, but it does feel nice to have flowers and candy that one does not buy for themselves every now and then. ^_^
I do know that in Japan, the actual “romantic” day between couples are celebrated on Christmas rather than Valentine’s.
Overall, it’s a nice way for those to express themselves a bit, but for couples? Everyday should be as sweet as Valentine’s Day. ^_^ I’m so corny sometimes. Heh.
I prefer an all in one day myself. Since I am into watching Japanese anime and reading manga I knew about the differences between Valentine’s Day there and White Day. Admittedly, I found it a little strange at first but I began to realize the Japanese probably think the same about some of our customs here in the USA. I think it all depends on what you grew up with. Experiencing anything different from what you are used to will take some time to get used to.
Hmmm…White Day sounds only fair when balanced with the obligation chocolates on Valentine’s Day. However, I prefer the all in one day that we celebrate and no obligation…well, perhaps minor obligations for those in a relationship.
All-in-one for everyone because you want to, please! And for the special persons in our lives, just because and anytime works. For me: chocolates!
Hi Nalini – I’d never heard of White Day, and I admit I chuckled when I read about it. I’m a fan ;-). The obligation chocolates to the boss are interesting- the whole workplace culture, and more, I suppose.
I have heard about how Valentine’s Day? is done in Japan. It is only because I wanted to know which countries celebrated February 14th or not. Then, also know the ways they celebrated! Thanks,Cindi
I have always disliked the obligation aspect of holidays in general, and Valentine has never been an exception. However, having it go both ways, in different days seems like making sure that there is some reciprocity going on… hmmm *grin*
Then again, I prefer being surprised by those things he does just because…
never having been to japan, i am picturing chocolate…with wasabi on the side, eaten with chopsticks. i don’t think my chopsticks skills would be up to it!
i’m fascinated by japanese people celebrating valentines day, though – no-one in switzerland or germany had ever heard about it and were puzzled why such a lighthearted occasion would fall on a drizzly, gray, depressing time of year
The chocolates in Japan are really yummmmmeeeee. Most are fairly similiar to what we’d get, but they have some great things you can only get there. One White Day, a friend’s husband gave her these white chocolate truffles wrapped in a sticky rice wrap (I know, sounds weird, but the textures together are divine) that she made us all try because they were so fantastic. I barely stopped myself from stealing the box and running away 😉
And if you’re ever in Korea, try the chilli-chocolates. Talk about an explosion of flavors!
Oh man, two days…I don’t think so! And candy for your boss? Yuck! (Especially if you knew some of my bosses!). I’ll take the all-in-one day thanks!
I have never heard of White Day. I am for all-in-one day.
I’m also not sure if I like the obligation aspect of having to give chocolate to someone… I’d rather give chocolate/gifts cause I want to. And I think it means more when someone thinks of you/gives you a gift just because, not because it’s a day where you have to give something.
But if it has to be commercialized, then I prefer the concept of having both a day for men and for women. Although I’d be a bit freaked out to get more personal gifts like lingerie from someone I’m not dating/don’t know well…
Wow, I have never heard of White Day! I love learning about other cultures traditions, I think culture is so incredibly interesting. thank you for sharing.
xoxo
lol Love that idea but since hubby basically thinks valentines day is a rip off wouldn’t do me any good anyways
Never heard of White day before. I think one day for both is better
I don’t like any time I have an obligation to give a present. It’s fun to give what you want and to who you want otherwise it’s just another chore.
Oh, no! My poor DH only remembers because he sees me preparing something for him. If they were on different days it would just be something else for him to forget then feel bad about.
I never heard of White Day. Sounds interesting. Not sure about it though. I probably prefer Valentine’s Day.