Gwen’s review of Blood Son by Erica Orloff
Silhouette Nocturne mass market paperback
GAH! I’ll just start by saying I don’t normally buy Silhouettes – the writing is not typically up to my standards. True to form, this was one of the worst books I’ve read all year.
The novel’s premise is a woman who is searching for her twin brother, who mysteriously disappeared while backpacking in Eastern Europe. She meets up with a dhampire at a lonely B&B high in the mountains. They fall in deep love over the course of a single conversation/night, she moves in, and they go off in search of dear brother after realizing that they have a convenient mystical bond that helps them track down the vamps. It comes complete with the whole paranormal vampire package: deep dark forest, pet wolf, older caretaker couple, dank castle vamp lair, etc., etc.
I know, I know. Same song, second verse. How many times can we read the same story with the same characters and the same dialog? I mean. COME ON AUTHORS! Give your readers SOME credit and get a little inventive!
Here’s an example of how truly awful the dialog can get:
[Scene – lovemaking in a (wait for it) quaint cottage in the middle of the Romanian forest. The scene contains very brief and silly role-playing. Some verbiage paraphrased to keep myself from hurling while I type.]
“Mistress Elizabeth – let me come. Blah blah.”
“Blah blah. You know you’re really the one in charge.”
“Then we’re both slaves to love,” he said, as he sank into her and into ecstasy.
“Slaves to love”?? Puh-leez! [eyes rolling] The only thing missing was, “…they didn’t know where one ended and the other began.” I cringe whenever I read that any longer, it is SO overused. Perhaps I missed that particular chestnut when I skimmed several pages of predictable dialog and boring plot.
It’s like there’s some Romance Writer’s Style Guide full of trite phrases and plotlines that all new authors are reading. Picture this, “Just add water, stir, and voila! Instant paranormal romance novel!” Note to authors: IGNORE THE STYLE GUIDE!
Do not buy this book unless you need kindling for that cozy fire in a quaint cottage in the middle of the forest.
Grade: F
Oh god. I couldn’t finish this book and now I am glad to see that I didn’t. It was so awful and frankly, Orloff is such a great writer that I couldn’t believe this came from her pen.
Phew!! I really liked the cover of this book but managed to keep from buying it. That one line alone would have made me cry and not in a good way.
CindyS
Literally, I think it’s called The Romance Writers Phrase Book. Not sure if I still have mine, not sure if it’s even still in print, but I found it good for a laugh *g*
That bad? I was planning to get this book to try out Nocturne too!
That phrase book scares me. I’ve never bought it — never will — but I’ve seen it. At a RWA convention of all places. I wonder how many newbies brought it thinking it would solve all their problems?
May – it is that bad. I’ll have to see if I can cull out my notes from ubook reader because the setup is even worse than the language. I.e., heroine goes in search of brother. Finds her way to a village in Poland. Is warned not to go outside after dark. Goes outside after dark. Gets in danger. Is scared of the man who lives on the property. But does she stay away from him? No, she goes into his house (after dark) and searches it. Then he scares the bejeezus out of her and her clothes. They have great great sex. bla bla bla. I gave up about then.
Yikes!! I had this in my hand a while ago to buy and i ened up putting it back, now I am kinda glad.
Sorry, meant to say I ended up putting it back
Jane, I read Orloff’s first Bombshell, and while I didn’t love it, she was still “if I find a cool Orloff blurb, I’ll get it” stage.
But you know which book your summary reminds me off? Another Bombshell, Crystal Green’s horrible The Huntress, except that the heroine goes in search of her boyfriend who’s been turned into a vamp.
I didn’t finish this. Blogged about it, but didn’t mention it by name. I was so irritated by the sudden about face from not really liking each other to deep, soul mate love over the course of ten pages, that I found I couldn’t continue. This was one that I felt was written using the paranormal romance cookbook. Mix together cliches and stir.
I’d heard such great things about the author that I was thought there was something wrong with me.
Jane – Wasn’t that the silliest thing you ever read? And Devon, not a blessed thing wrong with you, except I’d get a different cookbook if I were you. 🙂