Top Ten Things Authors Shouldn’t say to Reviewers

Can it be a retro post if I just posted it on the 5th? LOL this could be the most reposted post I have.

1. My book has been nominated for X, Y and Z awards!

2. I couldn’t expect you to understand the subtle nuances of my work.

3. The book was just too smart for you.

4. I liked it when you crushed my fellow authors but now you are just being mean.

5. I don’t care if you don’t like me, I am laughing my way all the way to the bank.

6. Just write me if you want a refund.

7. I was a best seller!

8. That is that last time I give you a book to review.

9. Yeah well, I got five stars, hearts, wet thongs from [name your wet thong giving review site]

10. I thought we were friends!

So… what did I miss? Anything to add? Come on you know you wanna play… even you author type folks. This is really all in fun. Most of it has never happened to me. I saw an old post in someone else’s blog from last year and it made me think of the other things I have seen.

no no no it has nothing to do with me posting three reviews later today…

Next up: Top Ten Things Readers Shouldn’t Say to Authors
And Top Ten Ways to Tell You’re a Rabid Fangrrl

Thanks bam you rawk! Angie would be so proud.

Schemes of Love by Sherry Thomas **FALL 2007**

The Deal:
Sherry Thomas’s debut historical romance Schemes of Love, set in 1893 London about an estranged married couple who must reunite (and passion reignites) when the wife petitions for divorce to remarry and her husband demands an heir in exchange for her freedom, to Caitlin Alexander at Bantam, in a pre-empt, in a good deal, for two-books.

The Book:
Schemes of Love

The Author:
Sherry Thomas

The Summary:

Once upon a time, Gigi Rowland fell madly in love with Camden Saybrook.

She vowed to do everything in her power to have him, by whatever means necessary. And so she did? But her success came at a heavy price.

Ten years later, a wonderful man has just proposed to her. Nothing stood in the way of her happiness, except the man she had married and lost…

I couldn’t find a cover yet or a date other than Fall 2007. I am looking though! There is a great excerpt you can find here. Awesome writing, great hook and really has a set up that reminds me of The Marriage Bed. I really wanted to read that book.

I had great hope for that book. And was greatly disappointed in it. So I find myself getting all giddy this one will be grand. I want!

Review: What a Lady Wants by Victoria Alexander

What A Lady Wants by Victoria Alexander
review by lawson

If you are looking for a discussion on fate, perhaps this book is not the way to go for true philosophical musings, but it does bring up the idea of how much fate does have control over one’s life.

Enter the heroine Felicity, an amateur astronomer is on her balcony wishing on a star. For a self-proclaimed practical person, wishing on a star is usually not the best course of action, but in this case, her wish is granted when Nigel Cavendish leaps over the wall into her garden. Escaping from an angry husband whose wife’s bed he has just left.

After this escapade, Felicity is convinced that Nigel is her fate, and spends the rest of the time attempting to convince him that she is right. Hilarity ensues. Seriously. When a book contains some things having to do with a balcony and a gun and no one is seriously injured because of it (twice), it can be hard to make the slapstick on the page work. Alexander does a good job of making it mostly believable, even though it is some flimsy shtick.

Also after this, Nigel is asked by his father to begin running the family estates, which is then designed to help him throw off his childish ideas and start becoming the man his father believes him to be. It seems that everyone has faith in Nigel except Nigel himself. Nigel does seem to dislike change and want to whine about it quite a bit. Felicity then sees the need to seek all sorts of help from Nigel’s family and her friends since she sees that they are “fated” for each other. Through these acts there’s plenty of snappy dialogue to entertain the reader. Both characters are intelligent and don’t mind showing that to each other through flirting.

Though there are some comical moments, snappy dialogue and some good chemistry between the leads, the theme of fate throughout the book does get rather old. With the amount of help that Fate gets in the book, it seems more that your fate is what you make of what is given you rather than some grand design by the universe. And the secondary characters seem to see everything before the main characters, except the balcony scenes that is.

Grade: B

If the words unspoken….

Sign of the Times: RWA’s New England Chapter

WHEN: the signing begins at 4:00 PM on Saturday, March 31

WHERE: the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Natick (across from the Natick Mall, just
before the little shopping mall with the Christmas Tree Shop).

WHY: part of the profit goes to support Literacy Volunteers of Massachusetts
and booksignings are nifty

WHO:
Jessica Andersen
Judith Arnold
Lori Avocato
Donna Birdsell
Jane Blackwood
Annette Blair
Linda Blesser
Lisa Gardner
Patricia Grasso
Kristin Hardy
Hannah Howell
Jackie Kessler
Toni Leland
Patricia Lewin
Caroline Linden
Marianne Mancusi/Mari Mancusi
L.B. Milano
Lisa Mondello
Sophie Mouette
Ann O’Bannon
Teagan Oliver
Evelyn Richardson
Teresa Roberts
Barbara Samuel / Ruth Wind

Let us know if you go and tell us how nifty it went *g*. Have fun!

Review: And Then He Kissed Her by Laura Lee Guhrke

And Then He Kissed Her by Laura Lee Guhrke
Review by Lawson

Oh, how did women survive the Victorian Era? With the rules and etiquette one must follow, it is really rather amazing. Not just the fashions and making sure to wear gloves everywhere, either.

Miss Emma Dove is a secretary who moonlights as a writer of etiquette books for what she calls “girl-bachelors”. These girl-bachelors are the nineties women who work, and are trying to support themselves. That is the women of the 1890s.

Emma’s boss is a publishing magnate named Harry, Viscount Marlowe and he is also adverse to the institution of marriage and so he parades his mistresses around and since Emma is his secretary, she has to buy them gifts and such, and being the sensible, well-mannered girl that she is, Emma is embarrassed by this task.

After Harry rejects her fourth manuscript and Emma realizes that he has not read a single word, she quits and embarks on her writing adventures, which Harry does not like because his life is thrown into turmoil when his efficient secretary leaves him high and dry.

For a modern woman of the 1890s, the advice that Emma rights is very straight-laced, but that is a product of the Victorian Era, and some of the things she does recommend does got in a more modern direction of social interaction. Poor Emma had a sheltered childhood with people out to protect her and she finally finds her voice in all her morals and rules.

In the interest of being objective, I the reviewer, don’t want to get on my soapbox, but this book (like so many others) to me has an undercurrent that’s going on in the country today. Emma is the conservative, guarded, “this is the way it’s always been and should be” sort of person. Harry is freer, wanting to move foreword and sees the benefit of change.

The problem as I see it is this: today there are girls around who act too much like Emma. As modern women, there are many who say they are freer, but they do not act as such. Emma has been sheltered and influenced by others on what is right and what she should do to the point where she loses herself in their rules and not her own judgment. And she worries way too much about what other people thing and embarrassing the memory of others rather than living her own life as she sees fit. Harry is cynical and overly into proving himself with women. There are too many references to older women thinking men are “beasts” and women are the ones that control chastity in the world.

Not that I’m disagreeing with any of this, and Guhrke does a great job through the end of the book proving that the Victorian morals and rules have no place after the time, but all the snappy dialogue, great sexual tension (and even a food scene, yummy), and obvious caring by the main characters, these facts of real life distracted me some away from the story. The emphasis on etiquette as a theme didn’t bother me so much, however, because it’s true manners matter. But not to the point where you stifle yourself and turn your actions into those of someone else. Off the soapbox now. . .

Though it takes a full 200 pages for the titular kiss of And Then He Kissed Her, it’s well worth the wait for the characters are well matched and are very believable in their roles as employer and employee. Who really doesn’t love a good boss secretary romance? After the kiss it steams off the page and that makes everything worth the wait.

Grade: B+

SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH

Hey, guys, guys!!!

I had the best time yesterday on this blog. Thank you to Sybil for asking me and letting me take over for the day. My dreams of world domination were satisfied at last! And thank you to everyone who read the posts and especially to everyone who commented.

Now for the bits you’re waiting for (I hope – well, the chocolate at least!).

Winner of the signed copy of
Claiming the Courtesan

This was really tough as you all had me laughing, but I think my favorite and a timely choice for Easter is CindyS and her mutilated bunnies. The coverflats go to Angie, Marg and Jenny, who was so close with her febreezed husband. I would have sent one to Ladydawgfan whose Hind Lick maneuver had me in stitches, but she got one in Feb. But seeing that was so funny, LDF, you can have a Caramello Koala or two!

Now, the Caramello Koalas for the alpha heroes go to Anne D because I’ve lived in the Northern Hemisphere and I so understand that longing for comfort food from home. Someone sent me a bag of Violet Crumbles for Christmas when I lived in the UK (local delicacy) and I cried all over them!

Would everyone who won something please email me on annasbooks@optusnet.com.au with your snail mail details (LDF, I’ve got yours from my website contest) and I’ll send everything away to you pronto? Congratulations!

Happy reading!

Warmly

Anna Campbell

With Six You Get Eggroll ETS

Maria Duncan aka Shewholovesromance aka Mary J aka Aisling aka Maria Dunkan aka Cadburyrox aka Mary Durnan aka http://cadburyrox.livejournal.com/ aka I am too lazy to find the rest of the emails and really you can do your own google searches if you care to find more.

puts out a call for romanceland peace and good will toward men

I think… well I say pretty much what I think about it here:

Well Maria, I have found when people post under many different names be it to trash review or enter contests - it always comes out in the end.

And the only person they end up making look like an ass is themselves.

As for mean girls, yes they are all over in high school and it makes some sense that in high school it can bother. But as adults, we should be able to pick our water coolers and be happy with it.

Because telling other people how they need to think, express themselves or review a book is no better than the person ‘trashing’ or ‘bashing’ a book or author. In fact it is really the same thing. And of course what is bashing to one person isn’t to another. There is a pretty clear line, oddly enough many don’t see it and take things too personally.

As we learn when we are kids, if the stove is hot, learn to not touch it. If a blog makes you hot, learn to stay off it. Of course I am just wild and crazy that way and think the rabid fangrrl’s have as much right to the net as the mean girls.

Although I would have to say I don’t see the blogs that are ripping poor lil books to shreds. Either I am too much of a bitch to notice or visit the wrong blogs. I find it funny authors can think Bam is the shit, until it is her book she doesn’t like. Or frequent Dear Author and think it is nifty until one of them doesn’t like a book. Giving lip service to everyone can love or hate my book is fine, but like it was said, if the author has to point it out most likely she isn’t acting that way.

Now I have a completely different views on socks. And for some odd reason feel the need to blog about it.

And at the risk of being a mean girl, if you have a blog or a website and you run contests, you may want to keep an eye out for people entering under multiple names.

Oh and before anyone gets all bajigity this isn’t super secret info private email stuff but simple google search stuff anyone can find.

As I said… it isn’t hard to do… just google a couple of names together. I even added a link up top but since Maria Durkin, Duncan, Dunkan sometimes Aisling Durkan and even more names have now been emailed to me is crying why, oh why please explain why forth you are stalking me - as she sits on my blog.

The post I was gonna put on Alison’s blog but really since none of this is her fault I shall put it here:

You are preaching as well as changing your story from the first time I asked you about this.

There were not flatmates, there was one. And your story of the friend of a friends sister and such was weak at best. After I asked you about it and you stopped entering contests on my blog as well as it came to my attention a lot of people had already figured it out. I thought it was a done deal.

The fact that you no less than a few weeks ago pulled this shit again but tried in email vs on blog, and then today come on Alison’s blog singing happy, happy, joy, joy lets buy the world a coke crap annoys me to no end.

And I am two steps away from posting the emails, the post, the boards, your repeated cheating and so forth and so on. I get you didn’t think you were doing anything wrong. I understand you either don’t care or are looking for attention. I have heard the sob story.

My advice is stop it or get better at it. Either way keep it off my blog.

Nightsong by Carolyn Davidson **May 2007**

Nightsong by Carolyn Davidson

SHE STOLE HIS HEART…

On the run and in search of a hideout, Tyler had come to the isolated farmhouse expecting to find an older lady in need of a helping hand. Instead he found Debra Nightsong, an independent young woman whose exotic beauty mesmerized him. He’d vowed not to take advantage of the situation he’d placed her in, but soon found himself regretting his words….

HE STOLE HER PEACE…

An outcast from her tribe, half-breed

Debra Nightsong wanted nothing more than to be left alone to tend her farm-until she was ambushed by a mysterious stranger. Tyler said he meant her no harm, yet he unnerved her-especially with his presence in her bed. He claimed it was only to keep her from escaping him, but Debra had never expected to find pleasure in the feel of a man’s strong body against hers….

I love me some Carolyn Davidson. Some of her older Harlequin Historicals are among my faves but she hasn’t completely found her feet yet with HQN.

I thought Redemption was a good read but forgettable and
Haven had characters I never really connected with so I am really hoping Nightsong is great. And she is able to fit her storytelling into a longer length.

And I really hope HQN brings us more westerns. Of course I want all publishers to bring us more westerns but I am a nut like that.

Amazon does have a review up from Publishers Weekly and of course it is just one review. I am a fan (you may have noticed) and love westerns to bits and pieces but I would be lying if I didn’t say the bit about the separation doesn’t worry me. But I live in hope…

Davidson’s western historical, about a hunted man and the half-Indian with whom he takes refuge, is a mixed bag. Davidson’s lyrical, almost ethereal prose never quite fits the harsh western setting of 1888, in which racism has isolated Debra Nightsong from both her tribe and the world of white men. Tending to the Dakota territory farm where she lives alone, Debra is surprised one evening to find an armed man in her house: Ethan Tyler, a man on the run for reasons he won’t reveal. Though he imposes himself on her household—making Debra a virtual prisoner—he proves charming, good-hearted and a valuable worker. Davidson is at her best chronicling the day-to-day of farm living, and her prominent supporting characters—including Debra’s half-brother and the bounty hunter pursuing Ethan—give the story extra dimension. Unfortunately, those characters show little complexity, functioning more like saints than citizens of the Wild West. Frustrating matters further, Debra and Ethan are separated for a full third of the book, carrying on an epistolary romance that barely satisfies the characters, much less the reader. Though Ethan’s everyman quality and the genuine caring he and Debra share hold promise, Davidson’s muted storytelling and odd choices result in a lackluster tale. (May)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Excerpt: Untouched by Anna Campbell **DEC 2007**

Untouched by Anna Campbell

Back cover copy here

I heart the last line….

E X C E R P T

I know… december… pretty long wait… do you really wanna read this… heeee you know you do

And I do not think you can see this ANYWHERE else. right now That Anna is just too good to us *g*

Read more

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