LynneC’s review of Detained by Ainslie Paton
Contemporary Romance published by Escape 1 Sept 13
Detained is an odd kind of book. It’s very well written in terms of style, and yet the plot lurches from incident to incident, exhausting this reader, changing direction from closed-room erotic to straight romance to prison drama to romantic suspense. It doesn’t seem to know what it wants, and it took me several sessions to finish it. It’s as if the writer threw all the things she wanted to write about into one book, as if she’d never get the chance again. And yet she has a backlist, so it’s not as if this is her one and only. It’s also long, so be warned. 323 pages in the Kindle edition.
What this book needs, in short, is a good edit. And maybe turning into two books or even three.
I might have to delve into the plot deeper than I usually do to explain what I mean, but I won’t say how each episode pans out, except to say that it does, in one respect, follow the conventions of the romance novel. Since it’s marketed as romance, I don’t mind letting out that it does have a happy ending.
But there are three separate sections to this book and each one would have formed a romance of its own – in different genres. First we have the conventional millionaire/young woman romance, the Harlequin Presents part. The hero, Will Parker, is a self-made millionaire with a rough past. The heroine is a feisty journalist who needs an interview with the hero to further her career. She is detained by customs when she enters Shanghai for the interview, and when I learned the reason for it, I nearly put the book down and DNF’d it. Let’s say it is a shitty thing to do, and then when she meets a stranger who she has to share her confinement with (Really? Detained by customs and then locked in a room with a sexy stranger?). They hit it off, he gives her an orgasm, and they meet later at a hotel suite he’s arranged for her. Sex ensues.
Sadly, the sex is weak. After a lot of winding up, the act is vaguely described and takes a paragraph. “And they did it and it was good.” That despite the author making good with the F-word, which is one I’m particularly fond of, but it seems to be used everywhere except the bedroom in this book. This is anything but an erotic romance, so you’d be disappointed if you read it for the hotness.
But I can live with that. It’s just that after a big build-up, the actual sex scene is a big let-down, one of those, “What, that’s it?” scenes. However, Will and Darcy make like bunnies until disaster happens.
Will is tattooed. He has a tattoo of a container on his back, the kind you have on the back of lorries (trucks) or at airports. He grew up in it. You’d think a nice dragon or flaming heart would be better. Since it’s on his back, it wouldn’t even remind him of his childhood because duh, he can’t see it. He’s scarred but a very manly man and gorgeous. His brother Peter is the suave Armani’d one, and he fronts for the company, so Darcy, despite agreeing to interview him, doesn’t recognize him. I had to work hard to believe that one. The richest man in Australia, as he’s referred to, and nobody knows what he looks like? There is a pivotal scene which relies on this, but it’s set at a charity do at a major hotel. Somehow he slips in and while people know him, the press doesn’t. Even those reclusive billionaires, the Barclay brothers, can’t avoid the cameras completely. Darcy would at least have known what Will looks like.
Of course, he has a reason and it’s one I don’t really believe. But I went along with it, because both Will and Darcy are likable characters and the book’s style is good. I’d have been happy if the first part of the book ended with a plot resolution and there you go. It would have made a good Harlequin Presents or Desire that way. But then the book takes a turn that I have to fight to believe, in the context of the story.
Without revealing spoilers, there’s a center section that is the Prison Break bit. The author has done some impressive research into the background, or I presume she has, because I know nothing more than what I’ve seen in movies about prison in that part of the world, but it seemed authentic. While the details are fascinating, I wondered what this has to do with the romance or its development. Oh yes, there are some good scenes, and I’m reminded of a Brenda Novak novel of a couple of years ago. In this part, the hero and heroine spend very little time together.
The third part, we’re back to Harlequin Presents, only this time it’s a faux-amnesia plot.
It really is like reading three different books, and each book has its disparate section. Expanded into three books, it might have been less bitty, but even then it would involve a bit of genre-hopping. I had to put the book down several times while reading it, just to have a rest and try to re-orient myself and my expectations. Yes, the book has a theme, that of the title, but the mood changes so drastically that it takes some getting used to. I can do it, but it makes for a disjointed read, not a book to sink into with a coffee and biscuit.
Readers do have expectations when they open a romance, and it’s usually more than just wanting a story with a happy ending. Likable characters – yes, this book has them. Coherent plot – no way. There are massive plot holes, like the one I described in the beginning – how come nobody recognizes him and how come the hand-picked journalist who was to interview him doesn’t know? And why doesn’t he clear up the problem that forced him to go incognito to start with? How could such a clever man believe what he did?
The story goes on like that, but if you think too hard about it, it falls apart. The characters take it all perfectly seriously though, although I had at least two face-palm moments. And Darcy and Will don’t spend enough time together. They spend too much time apart.
I’m very frustrated reading this book. The writer needed a better editor. She writes really well, that is her style and voice are distinctive and enjoyable. There are quite a few copy-edit mistakes, too, such as misplaced or absent commas and the use of words inappropriately, like “passed” for “past.”
There is also a prime example of Inappropriate Sex, the kind the couple indulges in when they should really, really be thinking about something else, like, for example, saving their lives.
And dyslexia isn’t something you have a “bout” of, it’s a lifelong condition. Learning to read is long and arduous, and some dyslexics can only do so under special conditions, like on a screen or with special glasses or through filters. It’s not a disease. It’s not the inability to read, it’s much more complicated than that, and it isn’t cured once the sufferer learns to read. Moreover, learning to read as an adult, whether the learner has dyslexia or not, is supposed to be far more difficult than learning as a child.
I want Ainslie Paton to find a great editor or agent who will help her to sort her stories into some kind of sense. Her writing is excellent, if verging into the purple at times. Her characters are likable, but her plots let her down. Or at least the one in this book does. Presumably we’ll have a Peter book coming our way soon. I just pray the poor dear doesn’t have as rough a journey as his brother did. Or he might as well just give up now and save himself a lot of pain.
Grade: D+
Summary:
Confined in a cold, dull room in the depths of a Shanghai airport, a journalist chasing a career break and a businessman with a shadowy past play a game of truth or dare — deliberately not exchanging names.
They tell each other their most painful secrets and burning desires. One dare leads to a kiss and a wild night of illicit passion, setting off a dangerous sequence of events, bringing exposure and disgrace.
Only the brutal truth can save them. But it will also rip them apart. And it will take more than daring before they can build a new truth together.
Read an excerpt.
