So… you might remember my part 2 of 3 post awhile back, titled Speak, Boo Boo, Speak. I wanted you to know that winners have been chosen and notified, and prizes have gone out.
First up, there’s the grand prize winner who got a copy of Leave Me Breathless by the fabulous HelenKay Dimon. Names of winners haven’t been added to protect the guilty. 😉 (Of course if they want to step up and say in the comments, that’s great. It’s just I was threatened with dire consequences by some of the entrants if I revealed their identities.)

Dear Helen Kay,

Notice that I’m spelling your name the proper way. Why do you smash the Helen and Kay together? That’s really weird. Do you do it on purpose, or did your parents do that to you? Can they speak English?

Anyway, I wanted to write to you for advice. I keep trying to write a book but can never get past the first page. Can you help me? Maybe if you read my page you could give me advice. And don’t give me some bullshit legaleze about being unable to read unpublished work. No one has to know except you and me, and I’m totally trustworthy. I would never sue you, even if your next book was a complete ripoff of my ideas.

Thank you for your time, and I’m enclosing the page. Please read it. If you don’t, I’m going to make sure everyone knows how selfish you are, and no one will ever read your books again. (That’s not a threat, just a fact, because if you’re a selfish person, I just think people should know.)

Your fan,

Wanna Be

And we have a second winner, who got a book by Larissa Ione (Pleasure Unbound). I’d like to note at this point, that there was a panel of 3+ impartial judges who picked winners. 😛 Because I totally wouldn’t have picked this one. (Kidding!)

Dear HelenKay Dimon, Larissa Ione, Jaci Burton, and Lauren Dane.

I know you receive a lot of fan mail. Some of it questionable. However, I am not a nutjob. I read your books, I put them up and other than sacrificing a newborn kitten every year on the release date, they stay on the keeper shelf waiting to be re-read.

I’m writing today about Limecello

For years now I’ve read her blog. Her reviews make my change purse jingle. Sometimes she’s made my Amazon account sob. And ooo the times I’ve giggled!! Even when she gets snippy and tart she’s still a wonderful blogger gal.

So in her honor I’m sending you this list of things to make out of limecello…

With Limecello juice you can make:
Margarita
Lime Pie
Lime Marinade to soak meat in

With any jiggly bits:
Lime Jello Mold

Crunchy bits:
Crispy Lime Cookies
Lucious Lime Crusty Chicken

So for the sweet, savory, jiggly and the crusty end this letter with a heartfelt appeal to you. Please Authors, send me Limecello’s address so I can GPS her and squeeze the juice outta her. Feel free to roll her around on the countertop to soften her up before I get there.

Signed,

Freaky Fruit Freak.

So there you have it. And stay tuned to part 3/3 of my “Boo Boo series” (Hah!) That will go live… you know. Some time. Up for grabs there will be a copy of Jill Shalvis’s baseball book Double Play. (And possibly others. Or not. We’ll see how the wind blows. ‘Cuz that’s how we roll.)