As we all know, there are some crazies on teh interwebs. We’ve all heard about them, read them, or even experienced them. If you’re an author, you might also get the bonus of getting some crazy emails. Fan letters, hate letters, the works.
Every so often, an author will mention a “speshul” email on twitter. Recently, some authors talking about such a happenstance were HelenKay Dimon, Larissa Ione, Jaci Burton, and Lauren Dane.
Here’s an example.
Dear Larissa,
Thank you so much for writing your Demon books. I’ve been following the Demonica series since the first one, PLEASURE UNBOUND was released, and I can’t tell you how glad I am that I found them.Finally!An author is writing books that are specifically relevant to me! I, too, have my own special Demon who rocks my world. It’s so nice that you do too, and that you can understand where I’m coming from.One of my problems with the series is when Wraith gave the Heofon to Kyran. Wraith would never have done such a thing because it would have been all about him and no one else. Why did you do that? You were wrong. Why would he do that?And you’re wrong about Hell. I’ve been there. Satan is super cool. I’m going to tell him about your sucky books.If I had more time, I’d tell you more about my Demon, but you don’t deserve to hear about him. I’m going to tell my demon to kick your demon’s ass the next time he sees him in hell.I hope you learned your lesson. I’ll be looking for your next Demonica book, just to see if you did. Do not disappoint me in this. I do not like being disappointed.Your #1 FanP.S. I’ve got my eyes on you.
So there you go. Why does this involve all of you? Well. Here’s where the fun begins! I teased the aforementioned authors that I was tempted to write them a very special fan letter. They said they’d post any bat shit crazy email I sent them.
This is where you come in. You have your choice of any of those four authors. Write the craziest, most freaky, creepy, incendiary email you can, and send it to crazyfanletter@gmail.com. (I know, I know I said I’m for contests where you just have to post to be entered, but don’t you think this is a fun and worthy cause?!) **NB** Because I’m having you email that specially created address, please include your info (name + address) in your email to expedite the shipping process for winners. Believe me – I won’t be sharing your information. And, you don’t need to sign your fan letter with your own name – sign it however you want, and add the info somewhere else in the email.
I’ve found an impartial panel, and the winner will get a copy of one of HelenKay Dimon’s books. (I’m hoping to find Holding Out for a Hero at Borders.) There might also be additional winners who get one of Larissa Ione’s Demonica books.
Incidentally, if you have any questions, please post them here, at the blog, rather than emailing that address. Also, if you’d like – and to keep conversation going, which author you’re writing your fan letter to. It’d be great if we could get a nice mix.
And don’t worry – I’ll be posting the best letters we get, and possible snippets of others as well. Ready, set, go!
*P.S. That’s not a real reader letter. I wrote that with my good friend Mad. At one point I had to tell her she was being too nice. And we kept trying to up the crazy, but we’re just not that good. I’m pretty sure you can do much better. 😀
LMAO!!! Oh this should be good.
Incidentally, yes, [more] people will be winning various Demonica books. Figured it was apt, considering the letter. And who knows, if I’m feeling happy and the pineapple fizzes keep coming, we might see more winners. Or not. You never know with these mercurial mood swings. 😀
OMG! You broke into my email account and stole that letter, didn’t you? Then you toned it down. Am laughing so hard right now…what a great contest! Very fun…I might have to write some batshit crazy “fan” mails myself. Lauren, Jaci, and HelenKay better watch out…
Ponders writing some batshit crazy fan mail to HelenKay, Larissa, and Lauren.
hehehehehe
lol I hope all of you do write letters! crazyfanletter@gmail.com has a sad, lonely empty mailbox right now!
Bwahahahahah! Oh man, I cringe in anticipation…
That’s just awesome. I’m wondering if anyone can beat some of the REAL emails we get. Now that I think about it, I kind of hope not. *shudders*
Is there an end date for your contest?
Jackie – there is… but so far it’s open. I guess I was going to see how many letters we were going to get and how quickly/slowly… but so far the unofficial closing is 2 weeks from the time this was posted, so March 12th tentatively.
was there winners for shiloh, and tracy wolff blogs thanks
Best competition evah!
So going to have to put my thinking psycho hat on for this one.
I feel your pain, ladies. I write in several genres and when I was posting some of my erotic horror, I got random emails of cock pictures and one guy who threatened to come to my house and proceeded to list my address (he’d hacked my server) and said he wanted to do all the things to me that had happened in my story and proceeded to spell them out in detail. Of course, being in law enforcement I fixed that really quick. *grin*
me and my other pepe’s will love to do this(my voices! lol).
Being former law enforcement I also feel your pain. Especially since my daughter had 2 not 1 but 2 stalkers in the last two years, one was a guy with one arm, in his 70s who kept writing her love notes at work, (she worked retail) ugh! The other was a phone stalker who swore up and down she was some other woman who was ditching his calls and he was extremely explicit by text, scared us crazy. The first went to jail on a tresspassing charge (he pled guilty when all of her co-workers showed up in court) the other we had to change her phone number for.
Despite this, I think this contest is hilarious! It’s a way to take control and laugh at a situation that could otherwise get ugly. Thanks for letting me know Larissa, I’ll see what I can come up with!
LMAO! haahahahaha, gosh for a minute I thought it was a real fan letter and I thought whoever sent it was DISTURBED. Definitely a great idea to turn things around, and make something that could get ugly into something fun. Will see what I can come up with!! =)
kh – Have you asked Sandy about potential winners? That’s about all I can suggest -sorry, I don’t know if there were any specifically.
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Edie – thanks! Glad you think so 😀 The field is wide open right now, so chances are good! (Although the one email I’ve gotten is fantastic!)
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Saranna … I… O_o … well damn. I kinda feel like you could submit one of the real letters and win. Life being stranger than fiction and all. Eek! Glad you got that taken care of!
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Tina – Wheeeee! I cannot wait 😀
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Terrie – Ack! Lots of scary real life similarities… but this is all in good fun! Swearz!
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Hilda – *whispers* It was inspired by a real letter, or at least hearsay of one? Scary, huh?! Good luck!
Dear Author –
Your books about ghosts are true. I don’t understand why you call them fiction. Ghosts do invade your dreams when you’re asleep. People think they are just dreaming, but they are wrong. Ghosts know things we don’t. If people would just listen to their dreams and kill only people they are told to, this world would be a much better place. The good people wouldn’t die. But if good people didn’t die, then there would be no good ghosts to tell me who the bad people are in my dreams, so I guess it’s okay that some of them die, too. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that your books are not fiction so you should stop saying that. If you would like to hang out sometime, call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX.
Your potential soul mate
Me
lol lol lol BonSue -loved it. However, if that’s your entry, please mail it to crazyfanletter@gmail.com with the required information mentioned above 🙂
Thanks! (:X Also I’m feeling like a bad fan, can’t think of who has ghosts off the top of my head- not HelenKay… is it Larissa, Jaci, or Lauren?)
Ok…I feel like a total stalker after writing that email! LOL!
Danielle – that. is. AWESOME! Hahahaha. Now you’re getting into the crazy 😉
My bad… I’ll fix it and enter “correctly”
Hah, I will try my hand… at Lauren Dane… Beware, I did get an A in upper-level creative writing (in college)! Cringe now! 🙂
Oh goody I have time to get crazy
FYI: Winners have been chosen, books have been mailed out, and a post of the crazy letters will be forth coming.
Thanks everyone for participating, and for the authors on being such good sports!