Top Ten Things Authors Shouldn’t say to Reviewers
Saturday, March 31, 2007 15:19
Can it be a retro post if I just posted it on the 5th? LOL this could be the most reposted post I have.
1. My book has been nominated for X, Y and Z awards!
2. I couldn’t expect you to understand the subtle nuances of my work.
3. The book was just too smart for you.
4. I liked it when you crushed my fellow authors but now you are just being mean.
5. I don’t care if you don’t like me, I am laughing my way all the way to the bank.
6. Just write me if you want a refund.
7. I was a best seller!
8. That is that last time I give you a book to review.
9. Yeah well, I got five stars, hearts, wet thongs from [name your wet thong giving review site]
10. I thought we were friends!
So… what did I miss? Anything to add? Come on you know you wanna play… even you author type folks. This is really all in fun. Most of it has never happened to me. I saw an old post in someone else’s blog from last year and it made me think of the other things I have seen.
no no no it has nothing to do with me posting three reviews later today…
Next up: Top Ten Things Readers Shouldn’t Say to Authors
And Top Ten Ways to Tell You’re a Rabid Fangrrl
Thanks bam you rawk! Angie would be so proud.
bam says:
March 5th, 2007 at 11:22 am
Good shit, syb. A post near and dear to my heart.
Remind me to say “I thought we were friends” a few months from now, k?
Bev(BB) says:
March 5th, 2007 at 11:41 am
I love you?
Oh, wait, forgot who we were talking about.
Snicker.
I need coffee. That’s my excuse, what’s yours?
Oh, wait, forgot who I was talking to. Hehehe.
There’s a name for people like you. And no, not that. It used to be a major part of most washing machines. Stil is in some. (That ought to exercise her brain for a while.
)
Tara Marie says:
March 5th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
LOL
So who do you think’s at fault when it comes to all of these “us vs them” attitudes that rear their ugly heads periodically?
Kathryn Smith says:
March 5th, 2007 at 12:02 pm
Hmmm, can we play Things People Shouldn’t Say to Authors as well? Cause I’ve gotten some good ones? LOL. I think authors shouldn’t say things like, “I don’t need an editor. My prose is perfect the first time I write it.” Someone should have shared that one with Anne Rice.
Sybil says:
March 5th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
KATE! Read to the end… sheeze I am working on that list right now.
Spinner? Rinse cycle? donna noe bev…
Kathryn Smith says:
March 5th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
LOL! Sorry, Sybil. Obviously my reading skills are sub-par today.
Bev(BB) says:
March 5th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
A-gi-ta-tor, Sybil, agitator.
Beats the dirt out, ya know. ;p
May says:
March 5th, 2007 at 12:25 pm
ROFL! I bow down and worship at your metaphorical altar.
Bev(BB) says:
March 5th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
So who do you think’s at fault when it comes to all of these “us vs them†attitudes that rear their ugly heads periodically?
Don’t know if this was meant for me or Sybil, but I think they’re pefectly natural. Well, the ugliness probably isn’t but I’m not sure even it can be avoided completely, if you know what I mean. I guess what I’m saying is that there should be a sense of separation between readers and authors once an author gets published and if they don’t recognize that things can get out of hand. Out of perspective. What ever we want to call it. Then toss in the layers of reviewers, fans, academics, editors, and magazine writers and it just gets downright wild.
I’m not sure it’s anyone’s fault. It’s just human nature to take sides. The sides just keep shifting according whatever someone’s priority is at the moment.
Sybil says:
March 5th, 2007 at 12:46 pm
Tis up kate.. just in case you didn’t read it *g*. Your email seems to be fucked.
Sybil says:
March 5th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
ohhhh bam hon, you are soooooo screwed *g*
Kathryn Smith says:
March 5th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Sybil, working on the email thing. I hate not having my mail. Grrrr.
bam says:
March 31st, 2007 at 7:49 pm
Psst…
There’s a difference between you’re AND your
Love,
Bam
your neighborhood troll
P.S. thanks for the repost. I needed to be reminded.
Sybil says:
March 31st, 2007 at 7:51 pm
LOL I do that allllllllll the time.
oh and fuck you.
off to read bam’s book
Ann(ie) says:
March 31st, 2007 at 7:59 pm
“I couldn’t expect you to understand the subtle nuances of my work” looks familiar.
And “My book has been nominated for X, Y and Z awards!” does too.
I think I’ve seen “I couldn’t expect you to understand the subtle nuances of my work” recently as well.
with some faint overtones of “I liked it when you crushed my fellow authors but now you are just being mean.”
And let’s not forget “Yeah well, I got five stars, hearts, wet thongs from [name your wet thong giving review site]“.
Dionne Galace » Blog Archive » Thirteen Things For Which I Should Get MY Ass Kicked says:
May 10th, 2007 at 11:16 am
[...] 1. While talking to my workshop group, I found myself saying, “As a published author…” 2. I told myself I would never go on my friends’ blogs and pimp my book on the comments section… check this out. I was being facetious, but it was undermined by the fact that I mentioned MY book, the release date, and where people can buy it. 3. While talking to my workshop group, I found myself saying, “In my published novella, Skin to Skin…” 4. When a professor criticized a short story I had written, I became so throughly pissed and started saying shit like, “OMG, she totally didn’t even get what I was trying to do!” and “She wouldn’t know good literature if it bit her in the ass…” I realized what I was doing before I could fully work myself into a proper froth, but hypocrisy… ah, it slapped me around and made me its bitch. 5. When a reputable publisher rejected my novella, I actually said out loud, “My book was probably too smart for them.” Yes, I did. Ugh. 6. A friend asked me, “Now that you’re published, do you feel like you’re better than everyone?” My response was a chuckle and quick, “Girl, you crazy,” but deep, deep inside, there was a wicked little voice saying, “Yesssss… yes I do.” 7. Tim was helping me plot a story and he was coming up with all these really, really cool ideas and instead of being excited about it, I lashed out at him and ACTUALLY said, “I’m the writer here, not you!” The look on Tim’s face was a bucket of icy water over the head, I tell you. 8. A girl in my short fiction class read aloud her piece and damn, she was good. Instead of appreciating her hard work, I sat in my chair, simmering in jealousy, and thinking, “Oh, yeah? Well, at least I’m published…” 9. A professor picked me as a “featured artist” and asked me to do a reading of my work and I couldn’t help but feel… smug. I think I bragged about it all day. 10. A stranger on the bus asked me what I do for a living and I answered with puffed-up pride, “I’m a published author.” HE WASN’T ASKING IF YOU WERE PUBLISHED OR NOT, DIONNE! 11. Every time I walk into a cafe and see someone sipping their coffee and looking all studious over their laptop, I think to myself, “Ah, we’re pretend-writing again, I see!” (though I’ve been told this is okay) and while standing in line waiting to place an order: “So… that’s what you’re doing with your liberal arts degree?” 12. I actually said, “I’m currently studying at the University where I am perfecting my craft as an author.” to someone. I was lucky I didn’t get smacked on the face with a shoe. Honestly, who can say shit like that with a straight face? 13. The fact that I can read about Authors Behaving Badly and feel so damn smug. I’m thisclose to behaving badly myself. Hell, I might be misbehaving now! [...]