I’m going to qualify this post first by asking you to keep in mind I’m not a virgin, nor am I a prude. But, since I’m not running for office, I think I can tell you a few not-so-politically-correct things about myself:
- Much to my mother’s disappointment, I only go to church on high-holy days.
- I inhaled in
high schoolcollege and I imbibe in hard liquor. - I watch, and enjoy, the occasional porn and read erotica.
- Though I love men with an unabated passion, I had my daughter on my own, without a husband, by choice.
- I believe consenting adults are free to do anything that doesn’t hurt themselves (unless they want it to) or others.
- And last, and most important, I am quite content with my decisions in life.
Of course, all of this is scandalous to my sixth generation Texan mother, who was raised in a proper Southern Baptist house with proper expectations, etc. That’s why we pretend she doesn’t know any of this. She still loves me despite all my “faults.” And, all that said, I am still VERY conservative about what I want to expose my 8-year old daughter to.
I recently reviewed a book, A Reason to Sin by Maureen McKade, which was mislabeled as “Reading level: Young Adult” on Amazon.com. That really bothered me as a parent. I’m not saying ARtS is rife with sin, as ironic as that would be – it’s a very respectable Western Historical Romance with some Suspense elements. However, it was clearly written for an adult audience (trust me). I’m sure this is a SNAFU of Amazon’s and not the author or the publisher – they both clearly do not call this a YA book. Why Amazon does, I couldn’t begin to guess.
Does wanting to control the information my daughter has make me a prude? I don’t think so. It’s a choice all parents have to make: at what age do you feel comfortable exposing (figuratively speaking) your YA to adult themes?
It’s why we have movie ratings and electronic game ratings. So that PARENTS can make the choice for their kids and not the other way around. Mislabeling something in an era where labels are relied upon is taking the control away from the parent. THAT is something I frown upon most severely. I rely upon retailers to label their merchandise accurately and this book, most decidedly, is NOT accurately labeled by Amazon.
What about you folks? Anyone else out there peeved about mislabeling in today’s world? I’m not talking about selling a size 4 as a size 12 (although I’m sure that’s what they did to a skirt I bought – I am NOT gaining weight, dammit).
I’m talking about standards and who should be accountable for them. How much reliance do you put in an advisory label and how much of your own research do you do to make sure it’s the correct label for your family?
I keep thinking back to when I was a young teen and what I read. When I was 13 and almost a freshman in HS I was reading Harlequins, Beatrice Small and VC Andrews. My mother was fine with it and actually read some of those books in case I had any questions I could come to her and we would talk about it. If I had a daughter at that age, I wonder if I would be okay with letting her read what I read.
I believe there should be some warning, for teens and adults because what if I pick up something to read and get a shock? Just like movies.
For me, labeling is a guideline for parents. We are all different in what we want our kids exposed to at certain ages, so while the label may say PG, why is it PG? If it’s for “mild cartoon peril” (which I think is what Ice Age says) I’m okay with that. If it’s language~depends on the language. For example, my kids checked a movie out of the kids section of the library when they were 2 and 5. It was a cartoon movie. I came into the room as one of the characters said “hell” (not referring to the place LOL, more like “what the hell”) and “ass” (again, not referring to the animal, more like “kick their ass”) within the 30 seconds I was in there. For me, those were not words I wanted my 2 and 5 year old to be using so the movie came out of the VCR and went back to the library. Those words are appropriate for the PG rating, but were not appropriate for my small children (hence the parental GUIDANCE suggested). I should not have trusted that PG meant it was automatically okay for my small children.
Everything I said above I would apply to books also.
Also, the parent knows their child. Is their child mature enough for the adult theme in the book? One child might be ready at 12, another at 16, etc.
I feel it’s my job to protect my children at the ages they are right now (8 and 5). There will be a time when they make their own choices~it’s just not right now LOL
I have to agree w/Katie and Tracy. At 13 I was reading a lot of the same stuff she was, most passed on by my mom. Funny enough she let me read that “smut” but had to read Are You There God before me! Go figure. Anyway…for me, they’re guidelines. I’ll let my kid watch The Riches, but not Nip/Tuck even though they have the same rating. I even let my kids play shooting games (and play with them). FWIW I have boys too–they’re 12 and 14.
And the buck stops with me as the parent to know what they’re up to.
BTW if you/someone contacts amazon.com they’ll probably change that.
Appropriate labeling, in the sense of warning about content, is a hot topic for me. I wish the labels were applied in a more standard manner across the board, because while I agree that in the end it’s the parent(s) who should be responsible for making a decision for their young children, I really really don’t want to have to read/watch/veto every single bit of information/images that comes into my house.
But it’s more than just the kids–there are things I don’t want to come across by accident, and back clicking won’t erase some unpleasant/not desired/not sought out images from my brain, thank you. For example, there’s this link (not safe for work). I’m told that, because there’s a parental control button on the far right, it’s fine that I’m confronted with the image on the left top corner. Nevermind that most people are conditioned to start reading left to right.
And it’s not about morality/sexuality/whatever–is about denying me the right to consent before the fact.
My parents never had a clue what I was reading. Since movies first started getting ratings when I was in high school they paid a bit more attention, but not much. I turned out okay, but I do think in retrospect I was exposed to some stuff too soon. So just paying attention is important…not just to what you buy, but what comes into the house that is borrowed from friends or checked out from the library.
I don’t trust labels. I reviewed books, movies and music my boys wanted to read, watch or listen to with my own standards. Like some of the other parents mentioned kids are all different and not all necessarily ready for the same material at the same age.
I completely agree with all of you that the responsibility remains with the parent(s). The buck literally starts and stops there.
However, if retailers, marketers, and manufacturers are going to USE labels (some are mandated by law to use them, actually), don’t they also have a responsibility for ensuring the labeling is accurate?
I read, watch, listen to everything my daughter’s incredible curiosity is exposed to. However, I rely on the labels to even BUY something, or rent it, or check it out at the library. I’ll pass over something that isn’t labeled.
It irritates me when the labeling is inaccurate. It’s yet another tool removed from my Parental Toolbox and that pisses me off. It’s hard enough with the help.
My mother had a meltdown when I read a Harlequin that was lying about when I was around eleven or so, this put me off romance for several years, I had to get my fix in in LJ Smith, Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters. I started reading romance in my first year of high school, my mother found out again and had another meltdown and threw out the books, believing it was giving me an unrealistic expectation about romance. The princess in the tower ect and all that smut. For years afterwards I hid them under my bed and it was only recently (in my mid twenties) that I actually started putting some romance books on my shelves. I still do not read them openly in front of her.
So I guess while it is important for books to be labelled properly, it really does depend on what the parent considers is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ to read. Plus perhaps talking with your son or daughter over what they read and why they are reading it or why you might consider it inappropriate might also be a good idea. So maybe they won’t end up hiding their reading material for ten years….
I rely on labels for my kids as a starting point only. I research PG-13 movies to determine whether I want my kids to see them. Books, I’m a little less restrictive with.
I know that I was reading Sidney Sheldon at about 12. No, my folks did not know it, but it was their book. (maybe that explains more about me than I’m willing to admit *g*)
I agree with you, Gwen, that if the label is there, it damn well better be correct. I remember letting my (then) 4 year old son stay up to watch one of the Disney movies on The Wonderful World of Disney, and then having to explain to him what dead souls swimming in the River Styx was all about (can’t remember the name of the movie). Scary shit for a 4 year old who couldn’t make it through The Brave Little Toaster.
I have to agree with everyone here. It is up to me what my three kids see but I use the labels as guidelines. I also research online to find out what other parents think. I’ll say that I was tortured for weeks as to wether or not Transformers was appropriate for my eight year old son. I mean it was PG-13 and he was dying to see it but some of the sexual humor was out there.
Oh, and Lori, funny thing about the Disney movies. My girls LOVE “The Little Mermaid” but one day they asked me why Ursula calls Ariel a “little tramp”. I had to say, um, because a tramp is a homeless person. 🙂
Lori- Hey, The Brave Little Toaster was scary! Who decided on Jack Nicholson for kids? *G*
I totally agree that labels need to be accurate. And there need to be reasons for the ratings on stuff because of the broad spectrum of reasons for a PG rating.
I don’t think anything labeled YA should have sex scenes at all. My Mom never dreamed she’d have to explain masturbation to me because of a book I got at the school book fair (Are You there God, It’s Me Margaret?) and as a parent I think they shouldn’t have sold it to a 10 year old. I got something else at school, I forget what it was called, where a girl pretends to be much older and gets into a sexual relationship behind her parent’s back. You’d think the school would have warned my parents or even me that I was buying a book that included sexual acts with a minor. No, this was a “teen” book.
FWIW I’d say Maureen and/or her pub needs to get in touch with Amazon and make them change that. Someone boo-booed. I even looked around at some other historicals and that’s the only one with a reading level (that I found)
Alicia…There was masturbation in Are You There God? Hmmm and here all this time I thought my mom was concerned because they were talking about periods…and God 😀