Teddypig‘s review of Going Down by Ann Somerville
Gay Science Fiction & Fantasy released by Lulu (self-publishing house) on 27 Jan 08

Ann Somerville obviously loves this world she has created here in Going Down. The scope of world-building is rich and lightly foreign in feel and the characters she populates it with are familiar in some ways and fascinating in others. Paranormal gifts like empathy and telepathy are relatively common place and these gifted people populate the crowded streets in an almost ordinary fashion and their jobs in the Corps reflect a culture that has found a way to benefit from them.

[Ed.: The proceeds from the book are being donated by the author to Doctors Without Borders.]

Derzo Einan an empath, and our hero, is suffering though. He went through a traumatic event that has left him in pain and unable to function. He goes day after day abusing drugs and booze to ease his frayed nerves and numb the gift that has become a curse to him. He will eventually meet up with Troe Thalem, a man who suffers almost as greatly as he does but together they might just find the solution to their problems and the inner salvation they seek.

I would NOT consider this “Gay Romance” or “Gay Erotica” even slightly which are two of the tags that I saw on the Lulu page for this story. It is way way way too Young Adult in feel. That’s not a horrible thing in all honesty and it does not feel forced. Reading Ann Somerville’s Going Down I caught a hint of Ursula K. Le Guin peeking from amongst the cracks here and there.

I have got to ask because it kept coming up when thinking about this story… Why bother to even hint at a possible romance between the two men towards the end when you never really define them sexually for most of the book? I was fine without it really and with their situation and the emotional scars etc etc etc, and so little time left in the story for any real romantic development or for understanding how homosexuality was handled in the society they lived in, I came away finding the stronger sexual tones used at the end a little heavy handed to me. I am just saying the whole homosexual nature of this story seemed unused and unnecessary to even be commented on.

I guess others will see this as a sweet type of gay romance, which I think is more implied than actually written, but I grew up reading Young Adult, Science Fiction/Fantasy buddy stories and adding in my own spicy homosexual undertones and this is a fine example of the kind of story I thrived on.

I just wish it had more adult flavoring.

Grade: C

Blurb:

Derzo Einan wanted to help people, and for fifteen years he rescued others from fires, floods and natural disasters. But in the aftermath of a horrific event, he’s left unable to help anyone, not even himself, his gift of empathy now more of a curse and his career in tatters. Running from his demons, Einan finds refuge in a big city, discovering an underclass of helpless hopeless people even worse off than himself—and another soul as troubled and damaged as him. In saving one more person, will he find his own salvation?

Read an excerpt.

Read more from Teddypig at The Naughty Bits.

Teddypig’s review of Cascadia Wolves: Standoff by Lauren Dane
Paranormal romance ebook released by Samhain on 4 Mar 08

[Ed Note: WARNING: HERE BES Spoilers, A.K.A. the End of the Book.... Proceed With Caution.... Also, we moved this post to show up once the book was released.]

First off, let’s get one thing straight here. If you have read the most excellent Cascadia Wolves eBook series, you are gonna buy this book. No question! You will get this book and read it because Enforcer and Tri Mates was Werewolf Romance crack.But, then I am left trying to explain my allergic reaction to reading this last entry in the series. That is where I ran into the proverbial brick wall. I love Lauren Dane. I love her families and I love her complex worlds and I like her not making her characters too omnipotent and rich and spoiled, because when she writes normal everyday characters with warm families, and difficult but reasonable limitations and life experiences, she so rocks.

So why did I not like this book?

After sitting on this review for a while I can only summarize it felt to me like Lauren undermined her own strengths here for the sake of writing a straight forward romantic story with simple actions and a pat ending, that’s why! This final book called for acknowledgment of all she had created in the course of the series and it just seemed to fail in that regard.

Grace Pellini, the most evil villain Warren Pellini’s sister, turns out to be Cade Warden’s fated mate. This is a damn good setup for the big finale here – in theory. I still like the drama of my own idea better – Lex Warden dies and Cade is left to take care of and mate with Nina – but I am a dark dark horrid Pig that thinks younger brothers make great targets.

Anyway, Lauren’s idea here does not bother me so much. In fact, putting Cade on his own away from Cascadia to handle the Warren Pellini problem and then introducing his mate is an excellent choice with a lot of potential that gets him off balance and makes things more intense.

BUT!

What actually happens… Cade meets Grace. Cade jumps Grace. Cade drags Grace back to Cascadia. HUH!?!?!?! With Nina preggers and stuck in bed? WTF!?

Cade tells Lex and Nina the good news on the phone and they turn into these strange alien harpies I did not know. They started acting totally out of character making absolutely no sense with their reactions. Cade is their Alpha right? They act like nasty spoiled children. Very un-family like and WTF?!

So here we go down a path I was totally uncomfortable with…

Why put pregnant Nina in danger by dragging Grace back to his Cascadia house, thus making everyone there great big targets?

Why was Lex, a life long werewolf and Cade’s brother, so down on Cade for mating with Grace? When he knows from his own experience MALE WEREWOLVES HAVE NO CHOICE IN THE MATTER!?

Why was the threat of the Pellini organization kept so remote to our heroes? Half the time I was reading this book, I felt they were all sitting around watching CNN and talking about the latest Pellini attack, like we all do about the Iraq War. In other words, they had no personal involvement until the end, when Warren Pellini’s minions finally show up to threaten Grace at the airport.

Why was Warren Pellini, who Lauren expertly made into a very evil and unstoppable corruptive force, so easy to take out in a one on one duel the end? I mean Lauren pointed out several times that Warren was not a “real” alpha. She also shows how he runs the group even here in this book:

Warren’s spies were everywhere, she trusted absolutely no one, not even her own parents.

To me this type of enemy is complex and very dangerous because you could take out Warren but his organization makes the next in line just as evil and just as dangerous. In other words, not only would every rogue werewolf be in the pack hierarchy, but also “only there for their own benefit,” making it not only an unstable organization, but also unstoppable and highly adaptable evil-wise.

So at the end Warren Pellini poisons the Mega Alpha which forces Cade to go one on one with Warren. Why did it take so long for this to happen if this was all that had to be done? The aftermath being Cade becomes this Supreme-ruling-Alpha and everyone plays nice THE END. ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Don’t get me wrong. I hope Lauren takes all her strengths she has shown in the Cascadia series, lists them out, perfects each one, and then mixes them with the stuff I loved in the Chase series. I would so be drooling over reading about blue collar werewolves in small towns trying to just make a living and find true love. I know I am sorta suggesting perfecting a formula out of all this. But you know what? A good formula can be so worth the effort especially if it makes for a juicy series of books.

Grade: D

Blurb:

Cade Warden has put his Pack first for most of his life and now Warren Pellini and his thugs threaten everything he holds dear. Into that life of intense focus and increasing loneliness walks the woman he’s been waiting for.

Grace Pellini isn’t just Cade’s mate, she’s the sister of his greatest enemy and she’s been putting herself in grave danger to gather information to aid the Nationally Allied Packs. Cade is everything she could have hoped for in a man even if he is overprotective and pushy at times.

Against the backdrop of their increasing passion and deepening bond, they race against time to find a key to stop Pellini’s biological weapon. And then the stakes rise again when Pellini calls an ancient Challenge. It’s up to Grace to stand by and let her mate risk everything for his people. And his life is in her hands.

Read an excerpt.

Other books in this series.

Read more from Teddypig at The Naughty Bits.

Teddypig’s review of Skin by Bernadette Gardner
Paranormal erotic romance ebook released by Ellora’s Cave 25 Jan 08

First off, I would like to say GOOD JOB! to Les Byerley for the most excellent cover of this eBook. Les is more! (so to speak) It has been a long time since I could say that to an Ellora’s Cave cover artist.

Now, for the rest of the story…

Tattoo-less and clue-less Makena Brady walks in the door of SkIntense Body Art and into the arms of Darq Stone tattoo artist with the Verakos veins.

Bernadette Gardner did a fantastic job with the sex scenes in this book. We are talking tattoos not just being sexy, but getting one sounds like a masochistic wet dream. So as far as sex scenes go for an Erotic Romance, this book rocked.

But… there should be more than just sex scenes here and that is where we get into trouble.

“I like it here. This world is too crowded for the Gemii to find us. We’re almost indistinguishable from six billion other souls here.”
Heath paced the kitchen. “Almost isn’t good enough. I know you think I worry too much, but I’m old enough to remember what the Gemii did to the crèche. You’re not.”
“You’ve told me about the massacre enough times.”
“Then you should take the threat of being found more seriously.”
Darq finished his coffee, set the cup in the sink and braced his hands on the counter. Even with his back to his partner, he knew his aura would tell Heath what he was thinking. “I’m getting tired of running, but I’m not foolish enough to think we’ve outsmarted the Gemii for good. I’ll be ready to go when the time comes.”
“Good. As long as you’re aware the time may come sooner than you think.”

There was tons of talking scenes like this between Darq Stone and Heath Gyland and *All you do to me is talk talk* is all you are gonna get here. No real threats pop up that I can see, no real evidence that there really truly are strange dangerous beings from another world hunting them down.

“I’m giving her the choice. If she chooses me, I’m staying here. I’m not moving on with you.”
Heath stepped back, dropping his hand. His eyes flared with indignation. “That’s not your right. What about the Gemii?”

What about me? What about my needs as a reader? What have you done to prove these bad guys are still after you? What have you done to make me believe this crazy story you keep gabbing about? *All you do to me is talk talk, When every choice that I make is yours, Keep telling me what’s right and what’s wrong*

So at the end Heath Gyland throws a hissy fit and runs off to worlds unknown *or so he says* and Darq gives Makena an ink job and I am left wondering if Heath just wants Darq’s hot magically delicious body for himself because the man definitely was following Darq’s sex life just a bit too close for comfort there boyyyy.

Grade: D

Blurb:

Her body is his canvas.

When Makena Brady walks into SkIntense Body Art, she expects nothing more than a little prick, and a small tattoo to satisfy her quest for independence from her “good girl” lifestyle. What she gets instead is a sensual awakening.

Darq Stone is an artist and Makena’s body is the perfect canvas. He works his magic on her, bringing her to the edge of reason with a temporary tattoo airbrushed on her inner thigh.

Enthralled by the excitement of lying nearly naked while he paints on her, Makena yearns for more, but can she handle the real thing? Darq is much more than he seems and once he brands her with a permanent mark, she’ll be drawn into his world forever.

Read an excerpt.

Read more from Teddypig at The Naughty Bits.

Teddypig’s Top Awards For Films That SHOULD Have Won Something At The Oscars. Damn them… damn them all to hell!

Most abused film by Hollywood and it’s own creator Award:
Star Wars, 1977… Let’s face facts. Does anyone really care about Annie Hall anymore?
Will George Lucas ever stop re-editing and re-imagining and re-cheesing up his films and just give us a god damned cleaned up, re-mastered copy of this on Blu-Ray? Please.


Best reason to take advantage of Harrison Ford after getting him drunk Award:
Blade Runner, 1982… Finally, this year we got the Final Cut on Blu-Ray and I have to admit it was amazing. Ridley Scott gave us the film the way it should have been the first time out. Not that Hollywood would have treated it any better, we just could have sneered at them much, much more than we did.


Best mantitty from 2006 remembered in 2008 Award:
300, 2006… Gerard Butler… need I say more?



First time I thought Helena Bonham Carter was probably not acting Award:
Fight Club, 1999… American Beauty? Someone actually watched that crap? I was still lusting after Brad Pitt, quoting heavily from this movie’s dialog and wondering if HBC made wild monkey love with him and that dildo.


But but but… Heath Ledger was hawt! Award:
Brokeback Mountain, 2005… Crash? They gave a movie that stole it’s title from David Cronenberg’s most twisted film [ed: you have GOT to read the synopsis for that one!] the award? WTF?! We were robbed!


The moment I forgot I was a Gay Man and was tempted to swing my bat for the other team Award:
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, 2001… Angelina Jolie… ’nuff said.


So, you agree with the Pig’s awards? What other awards would YOU give?

[ed(Bev): btw... ssshhhh... Syb forgot to fire me as the Contest Duckie and today's (mini) Party in the Pond IS all about awards, so wink-wink, nudge-nudge]

Teddypig’s review of Death by Ploot Ploot by Dara Joy
Sci-Fi erotic romance ebook novella released 2 Feb 08 by the author

First about the cover… Ugh-Gah-Lee!

Have you ever felt like no matter how hard you tried you just could not get the joke? Like when you read a book where you knew you were reading something out of a preexisting series and you probably should have read the first book and that the author is going ahead and making absolutely no attempt to clue you in on the characters or what they are supposed to be doing? Well, I am here to tell you that just freaking sucks. How can anyone care about a story if you are never introduced to the world and the people who inhabit it in the first place?

That’s really my initial response to the Dara Joy ~ Death By Ploot Ploot. Which lacks a plot plot. In my opinion this infinitesimal short story should only be read by those fans who have already bought and read Knight of a Trillion Stars and Rejar because otherwise there is absolutely no reason I can fathom to waste your money on this thing. It is so strange that there was not more of an effort made by the author to inform people of this little fact fact.

Here’s a snippet of this fun fun:

Lorgin’s brow furrowed as he thought of a way to put his current disquiet into words. “This is difficult to describe, but of late, Yaniff, I have found myself somewhat . . . ah, flammable.”
A snort came from the direction of the floor. Perhaps the younger brother is not so asleep.
Yaniff threw the Familiar a disgruntled look, and then addressed his older brother. “What mean you by flammable?” Lorgin was at the peak of his virility; he also had a fine wife. What could he be speaking of? Eyes wide, the old man thought he figured it out. Ah, that. He leaned forward and whispered, “Are you speaking of erotic desires?”

No, we are speaking of gonorrhea. That slut Deana! How dare she mess around behind my back! *Uh no… actually that might have made a better story.*

There is just no conflicts here on planet sex. There is just no action taking place amongst these horny manly men. There are however some really vague hints about the assorted characters that wander aimlessly through this excerpt and what their future holds unfortunately they were all previously introduced, from what I can guess, in some other book.

Like Lorgin, whoever he is, is gaining new levels of power and sharing them during sex with his Earth born wife Deana. The half breed brother Rejar, who ever he is, has “held within him an immense power.” Which I can only guess means that Rejar holds immense power or has a big one, that rivals all other holders of power which might be his brothers (We hope!). Maybe Lorgin is gaining on him by using a pump, I don’t know exactly.

Not to mention that all these super powers seem to be tied into their having sex which makes almost every discussion about them cringe inducing to say the least, in a so very After School Special way. I was almost happy this topic is introduced and then unceremoniously dropped like a lead brick brick.

None of this information or the characters that float by goes anywhere though, in fact all of the more interesting topics eventually get flushed altogether so that our Earth chick Deana can have fun introducing the entire planet of Paris Hilton like aliens to the Earth holiday of Valentines in the form of The Three Stooges, because you know everyone loves those Three Stooges. Need further clarification? Vacuous, vacant, void… see inane.

To top it all off Deana loves to tell really really bad jokes too so that is where the whole title of this misconceived stunted story comes from. Let’s just say I cringed over that along with many other precious moments. I was sorta surprised there were no actual singing and dancing numbers with all the vaudeville being preformed. Anyway, I feel I have spent far more time reviewing this book than Dara spent actually writing it or more likely slapping it together from scenes edited out from other better books much like the cover.

Dara, not the do-it-yourself DRM! Um, I hate to point out that there are at least 6 programs that can be downloaded for free that strip not only that particular PDF DRM format out of the file but also the name and address you have embedded while generating it. It took oh, maybe five seconds at most. That was the only interesting thing about this eBook actually.

I give this excerpt, masquerading as some sort of novella, and it’s annoying DRM a big old…

Grade: F, as in…

Blurb:

What happens when Deana decides to introduce the concept of Valentine’s Day to Aviara? You can imagine. How will the fearsome Charl warrior-knights react to the concept of ‘romance’? You can imagine. Time to rejoin old friends and take it back where it all started . . . Aviara.

DEATH BY PLOOT PLOOT!

Have fun visiting with Lorgin and Deana, their family, friends, and Familiars, and see just what is going on in the MOD universe in this hilarious, spicy, heart-warming story that advances the storyline of the Matrix of Destiny universe. (To be read with a cup or two of mir, a sense of humor. Misty eye and pot-holders optional.)

No excerpt available (you’re probably lucky).

The International Bear Rendezvous Presents: An Evening With Kathy Griffin

Saturday, February 16th, The Castro Theater, San Francisco

SOLD THE HECK OUT!

To raise funds for the Rainbow World Fund, Lyon Martin Women’s Heath Services, and the Bay Area Young Positives.

I have been absent from reviewing lately. Yes, I know Bad Pig! and I am so friggin’ behind Sybil is gonna take an axe to my rose bushes, I just know it. So I need to make this up to her.  So, I scored me some insider tickets,

Not just any tickets mind you.

THE TICKETS OF THE YEAR. Kathy Griffin for one night only at The Castro Theater. This is like Kismet! This was HUGE! I mean if any of you watch the My Life On The D-List on Bravo (the better Gay Cable Channel), then you know Kathy and her Gays. Well, this was the biggest bunch of furry Gay Men on the planet all packed into The Castro Theater worshipping at the feet of the hippest comic on television. It was Love Incarnate.

See, Kathy is not actually on the D-List. She is loved by the Gays, like we love us some Madonna. So despite whatever you have heard, Oprah and Barbara Walters live in complete and utter fear of Kathy because they know the secret of all media power is Gay Lovin’.

So there I was right smack dab in the middle of THE MEDIA EVENT OF THE YEAR. It was like Hillary Clinton making her first of two presidential acceptance speeches and then introducing the country to her lesbian lover and new First Lady. WOW! Oh, Steve Wozniak was there too.

So, she comes on stage after Fuzzy, the IBR President, makes his announcements and does the typical Gay Event deal of a raffle ticket drawing. Why must all Gay Events include the raffle ticket drawing??? I mean, unless you are giving away a free orgy with the entire Gay Porn Star roster of TitanMen then I am so not interested. Oh, they were there too. Looking absolutely hairy and wonderful. Gotta love them TitanMen. Yes anyone who even wishes they knew someone in San Francisco was there. Get over it!  I am golden!

Anyway, she points out to the audience and says, “Hey that’s Steve Wozniak!” (they are dating) Then she points at the Gay Porn Star sitting right next to him and says. “Get your freakin’ hands off the Billionaire Bear bitch, he’s mine!” Then she smiles at all of us and says, “Are your gays all upset at you because you got tickets and they didn’t?” and the house came down.

It was magic! She had us in the palm of her petite manicured hands and she knew it. 

I did not know Dr. Laura’s son got caught over in Iraq shooting Iraq civilians and taking pictures with them like hunting trophies and posting them on the internet. That gives a whole new meaning to the catch phrase “I am my kid’s mom.” Karma.  She’s a bitch.

We got a full walk-through of the ‘Oprah falls off the weight loss wagon’ scandal, and her subsequent ‘Mississippi madness’ and ‘Nut Case Britney Spears snubbing Doctor Phil.’ Oh, and Kathy’s been banned from The View AGAIN! over the whole Barbara Walters admitting to using Astroglide thing. When will Barbara learn she is old news and step aside for Kathy to take that hallowed helm?

Hallmark moments were shared by all. Kathy Griffin admitted to not only meeting Liza Minnelli but attending some sort of hilarious Canadian casino hotel room pajama party where Liza admitted to Kathy that she had done the dirty with Bob Fosse.

All in all, An Evening With Kathy Griffin is nowhere near a D-List ticket. In fact the lady is funny, pretty, real, and smart and just a plain good person inside and out. I just know she and her manager Tom are humping like the proverbial bunnies while poor Steve is clueless. Allegedly!

You go girl!

Kathy Griffin gave her all for Gay Charity and she has now attained Madonna star status. If you have any chance in this life of seeing her… beg, borrow, steal, hold people hostage, and just do whatever you need to do to go.

GRADE: A XXXL

Teddypig and Bev(QB)’s review of The Perfect Cover by Claire Thompson
Contemporary gay romance ebook released by Ellora’s Cave 26 Dec 07

So what happens when an opinionated, Big City Gay Man with a deliciously wicked sense of humor teams up with an opinionated, pervy, suburban Ohio soccer Mom to dish about a Gay Romance written by a female author?

Bev(QB): Although I’m sure most authors will say they don’t write for a specific audience, the fact is that a large percentage of gay ROMANCES (as opposed to gay erotica) are written by women and read by straight women. But I’ve also heard that these same romances are gaining an audience within the gay community because a lot of gay men want to read romance, not just sex. So, Teddy, is that an Urban Legend?

Teddypig: Well Bev, I just read somewhere about this concept of “exploitive MM Romances” and how we Gay guys are getting used and abused by Straight women writers misrepresenting us to the general Straight women Romance reading populace as horny devils willing to have sex at a the drop of the soap. My response was… and? You have a problem with that? What gave you the first clue that maybe, because we are already rebelling against mainstream society’s view of sexuality, we might be kinda more likely to explore this brave new world of hot man on man action at any and every given opportunity provided us? Now I try not to over generalize but, um… yeah that is usually the way it works out.

Anyway, kidding aside, I think it is great women writers are exploring the members of another culture they have something in common with. Dating, putting up with, and unfortunately, sometimes even loving those primitive hard headed creatures known as MEN — also known as pigs or jerks on occasion. So here’s to more exploiting Ladies!

Bev(QB): Yeah, something in common– that makes sense. I don’t read lesbian fiction because I’m not attracted to other women, so I can’t relate to anyone in the story. With gay male romances, however, it’s hardly a stretch to identify with the attraction for the male characters. Plus, particularly in contemporary romance stories, gay relationships have a whole different dynamic than straight romances. The leads are usually friends and there is none of that alpha asshole angst that we get in so many male/female stories. Maybe I’m generalizing, but the gay romance stories often come closer to mirroring the dynamics in real life STRAIGHT relationships.

But what about The Perfect Cover? Did Claire Thompson nail it [hee] for you

Teddypig: I have to admit I really tried to hate this eBook. The damn thing starts with the lamest setup EVA. There is this Club Med style Gay resort out on some tropical island that all these gor-jesus Gay men all work at during the winter and swap spit. Sorta like Palm Springs but without all the wrinkles and with non-chlorinated water surrounding it.

First off we are introduced to Ryan Weston, perfectly long hair, perfectly muscled body, and perfectly STRAIGHT. Then we switch over and meet Sean Evans, perfectly… Oh here let me show you…

Sean had honey blond hair streaked with thick swaths of bleached gold from his hours in the sun. His eyes were a disarmingly pale blue, or so a lover had once told him, the contrast to his tan face making them look even bluer. He wasn’t especially tall, maybe five feet ten inches, but every bit of him was solid muscle. He didn’t think of himself in terms of being good-looking or not. It didn’t occur to him.

Yeah right, maybe it did not occur to him, but the reader just spent a whole paragraph reviewing how good looking he is in his own damn point of view. So, I started gearing up early for the snarkfest to come. Hey, it’s a dirty job, but since Mrs Giggles swore off snark, someone has to do it.

Bev(QB): Yeah, but ya gotta admit the “visuals” were stunning, right? Picture Travis Fimmel (in his Tarzan days) bumpin’ uglies with… well… Travis Fimmel.

For me, the “snark alert” moment came when Ryan tried on his work attire– a Speedo– and then walked into Sean’s bedroom and asked him how it looked. No straight man in the history of the world, would EVER ask another man that question! And to invite a *gasp* GAY MAN to peruse his nearly naked body?! Just wouldn’t happen. Ryan is comfortable being on an island of gay men hitting on him (no straight man’s homophobia?!), he’s had fantasies about being with another man, and he’s in effect asking a buddy “Do these make my ass look big?”, but he considers himself completely straight?! Yeah, by that point, I had visions of snark dancing in my head too, Teddy.

Teddypig: Well Bev, Sean gets the hots immediately for Ryan because it is the Tru Lurve. Then Ryan plays the old “I’m Straight” card. Despite his poor crushed Gay heart, Sean agrees to keep Ryan’s secret (baby) and they plan a deception to keep Ryan’s sweet virginal ass on Gay Sex Island by pretending to be a couple in Tru Lurve. HOW CONVENIENT! In real life Teddypig is sitting there cringing in his seat listing all of the reasons he would be running away from the confused Straight boy:

• Lack of Gay experience and knowing himself.
• Bad sex.
• Temptation to have sex with every Gay loser he meets.
• BAD sex.
• Inability to place value in a real relationship with another guy.
• BAD SEX!

Bev(QB): “I didn’t even know I was gay!” is one of my favorite themes in gay romances. However, I think in the back of my mind I always assumed it was just a fantasy dreamt up by female authors. But Thompson turned this into a completely believable story for me when she had Sean explain to Ryan how he could be gay or bisexual and not realize it. Then Ryan internalized what Sean said and starting putting the pieces together.

Teddypig: Bev my rule of thumb is, dump the genders and look at what is going on under the hood. In this case we’ve got a Straight guy and a Gay guy. That equates in Romance to the Barbara Cartland, wilting virgin with experienced horny suitor story. YAWN! [Bev(QB): Hey! I just said I LOVE those stories!]

I was pleasantly surprised though because after all those things I could quickly list as reasons for NOT getting involved with Straight guys who are learning they are Gay, Claire Thompson thought these through and actually addressed them one by one in the story.

Bev(QB): Exactly, Teddy. Another author would simply have used Ryan’s curiosity after watching all the gay men together at the resort to trigger his “switch.” But Thompson surprised me with her logical, intelligent arguments that sexuality is not black or white but rather shades of grey (or should that be described as the Colors of the Rainbow?).

Overall, I thought it was a sweet romance story with some flashes of intelligent insight that outweighed the snarktacular aspects. Odd that there were surprisingly few erotic scenes, though, when you consider this is the same Claire Thompson who writes all those BDSM stories.

Teddypig: I totally agree, it was sweet Bev. Maybe Scott & Scott, two Gay men who write The Gay Romance over at Loose-Id, should pick this book up to see how to do this type of Gay Romance without relying on their typical blah “Twinkies in Love” characters.

Don’t get me wrong though, these characters were too perfect. The place was too perfect. The Romance is too perfect. Everything is too, too perfect. If Claire wanted a perfect score from me she should have had them both fail in a couple of understandable ways that would show them being human and not Ken Dolls in Speedos. Intelligent and insightful does come to mind in thinking about this story and the cautious dance described. So that kicks this up a grade automatically for me despite the other flaws.

I will be reading your next Gay Romance, Claire, so dirty it up a bit, will you?

Exploit On Girl Friend!

Teddypig’s Grade: B

Bev(QB)’s Grade: B

Read the Ellora’s Cave summary.

Read an excerpt.

Read more from Teddypig at The Naughty Bits.

Read more from Bev(QB) at Cubie’s Confections.

The one that got away. The one that could not be mine. I showed it to him like that sad girl who carries around a picture of the man that got away. He being a boy, ignored me. Repeatedly, most likely rolling his eyes while doing it.

Then finally I told him he HAD to look at it. I needed him to say ‘no sybil, no no’. I needed someone to point out why this wouldn’t work for me so I could put it away in that box with all lost lurves one may never have… so while he was telling me no. Repeatedly. bastard

Something awesome happened… something wonderful…. something fucking fantastic… he decided it rocked the house too.

sssssssssssssssssqqqqqqqqqqqquuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

It shall be mine. OH YES it shall… of course with everyfuckingthing blogwise TGTBTU has issues. And Teddy is telling me I am going to lose all my comments! YES! ALL OF THEM! So while I am hoping for a sign from fucking god to fix that because I do not want to lose all of your wonderful and witty comments, or you know, saving the shit I need to repost later…. teddy has been making the new template his bitch.

The Good, The Bad, The Unread will look somewhat different but go forth and see what we will one day look like. Hopefully really really soon. Yes, it is beyond sad how excited this makes me. shut up and let me have my fun… click on the piggie and sqquuueee with me

Teddy Pig’s review of Cascadia Wolves: Wolf Unbound by Lauren Dane
Paranormal Erotica Romance published in ebook by Samhain 1 Jan 08

That’s it. I do not know how you guys find time during the holidays to actually sit down and focus on an eBook. You people are not human you must be alien super readers with abilities I obviously do not have. I suck! No, I do not just suck, I suck mighty BIG TIME! So anyway, sorry it took so long but I was trapped in a line at Best Buy during the half-off-all-DVDs-sale and they just sent in the police to break it up. It’s sad to see people beating each other bloody over box sets of The Best of Jerry Springer.

I am happy to report while I was waiting in line and ducking the occasional thrown punch I was finally able to crack open this little Christmas goody Angela, the eGoddess of Samhain and ruler of all things eClassy and eTasteful whom I eWorship, sent to me like an ePiphany from the heavens. So on with our reView.

	For those of you joining us late in the game here Wolf Unbound is actually the fourth book in the killer Cascadia Wolves series. The first was the glorious eBook Enforcer which introduced us to this world of werewolves and Nina, the sharp tongued human hacker girl, and Lex, her mate with the fur and the mega badass guns & ammo collection. I loved this world immediately and I liked the story and I liked Lauren’s writing but sad to say Nina’s jokes got just a tad bit repetitive which is not good for the main heroine character. It got a Grade: B for being a fun read but a little annoying
	Then along came Reluctant which I tried to like but felt the heroine Layla was just too TSTL for words especially with the complex world Lauren had built and the fact a full blooded werewolf vixen like Layla (you’ve got me on my knees, Layla, I’m begging, darlin’ please) should have worked out all those known werewolf-like issues supposedly suddenly thrust upon her pure blood werewolf ass. It was a short story, thank god, so I just ignored it, like much of Eric Clapton’s career, with a Grade: D.
	Then came Tri Mates and that was one JUICY book. It’s about Cade and Lex’s sister, Tracy, and her mates, Nick and Gabe, and the ever darkening world around them. Really good stuff in that one (Read it!) and a solid Grade: A.

So right off the bat in Wolf Unbound here we get to see our old friends the wild widow Tegan Warden (our heroine for this book and the Enforcer’s right hand chick in charge), Cade (the pack Alpha), Lex (his brother the Enforcer), and the ever sharp tongued Nina (the pain in their collective butts). Nina let fly some pretty good zingers this book, Go Lauren. I really enjoyed Nina in this book. In fact I really enjoyed Nina, Lex and Cade in this book because they honestly felt like a real family and that is one of Lauren’s strengths as a writer. It’s also the reason I liked the Chase Brothers books because Lauren has a great feel for working class families and the interactions between them.

In this story Lauren really leverages that approach and the werewolves as a whole do not come across as this bunch of overly privileged suck faces. They fight, they argue, they duck out when grandma comes around, and you get the feeling they have money problems amongst other private issues and have to work for a living. That so rocks! I think werewolves would have trouble in society and they would end up having to work together to get by. Which is why despite a couple of missteps (Tracy, Nick and Gabe getting all in the way for no reason at Tegan’s house) I really enjoyed having the old crew come back to provide that family feeling that permeates Tegan’s world. It’s Werewolves LLC!

The WTF parts… Um, there were a few moments right at the beginning where I thought Joey W. Hill was guest writing. I mean, what was the whole Ryan “the Gay Vampire” and his boy Elroy? There have been vampires in this world before? Did I miss the memo? The whole BDSM club deal. Is everyone hanging out at these places now? I mean, I am into BDSM and all but I do not hang out at BDSM clubs. The secret is most BDSM clubs suck ass because the only people who bother to go need help and boy the last time I went I kept repeating to myself under my breath what my momma always told me, “Do not flaunt what you do not got!”

The GREAT parts… The world building went into high gear for this book and boy did it keep things interesting. Warren Pellini and his Werewolf Mafia are back on crack and baby he ain’t taking no prisoners this time. Well he does, but that’s just giving way too much information. Let’s just say if you have been following the series you have got to read this book ASAP. Things are getting wild and woolly. Hell, I would have read these books to follow this back-story alone because it is so good. Lycanthorpy Viruseses and all.

My conscience is nagging me though. I do not think this book stands very well on its own and that is what it comes down to in my grade here. We get told far too much about what happened to the young, vivacious Tegan and not shown enough. Why not show us the day Lucas died? Why recount it to us constantly? That would have so fixed most of the problems at the beginning of the book and some of the repetition later on because there would have been no need for that extra stuff. I really kept wanting to see internally how Tegan grew and got to this point of a second chance at love and I personally felt the lack of that showcasing a main character seriously left this a book you should only read after you have read all the others and are invested in this world and these great characters.

On that note, I highly recommend, for a good time, reading all the Cascadia Wolves series which gets a solid Grade: B from me on the whole. This book by itself gets a…

Grade: C

Blurb:

     Blurb: 

     Overshadowed by the rising threat of the werewolf mafia, Ben and Tegan struggle to stand united.

     A Cascadia Wolves story

     Werewolf Enforcer Tegan Warden has been alone since the death of her mate four years ago. Until she meets Ben Stoner at a local club and she feels something she thought died inside her. Things move very quickly and she finds herself mated to a human man who’s not altogether sure he wants a forever kind of love with a woman he’s just met.

     Ben realizes in short order Tegan is not only worth forever love, but a woman who’ll stand at his side without tolerating anything other than a full partnership.

     In the bedroom it’s another story, as Ben has finally found a sexual submissive with a spark, and Tegan a man worthy of her submission. Together they work toward building a permanent relationship even as the specter of danger from the Pellini Group grows in the world of wolves.

     All around them, the rising violence threatens the Packs and the only thing they know for certain is one another.

     Warning: Naughty language that might get your mouth washed out with soap, domineering alpha males knocked down a few pegs by their women, smoking hot bedroom action including always consensual BDSM type action, werewolf mafia and the violence that loves them.

     Read an excerpt.

[Ed.: TeddyPig shares with us 12 ebooks he thinks should be required e-reading for all e-venturers.  And lemme tell ya, having read some of them, I gotta e-gree!] 

So I was asked to do the 12 duckies of Christmas dealymabobber which made me think of 12 Monkeys which of course lead me to the 4 Pigs of The Apocalypse.

Now would I want to be Phury or Rhage or Butch or Vishous? Nah.  Butch was meant to be with Vishous, they are destined for each other. Are you listening J.R. Ward? You buy that clue yet sweet cheeks? Vishous and Butch forever damn it! Dig?

	12. Trin by J.M. Synder (From: Aspen Mountain Press).  This year I became a J.M. Snyder fanboy. I have sworn to senselessly attack anyone who would besmirch the reputation of our God J.M.S. She told me I get to hand out the Kool-Aid. Squeeee! Trin shows Snyder’s power as a story teller. Trin is Gay and it is Romance, well sorta, but it is also dark and raw and unforgiving and it just needs to be read dang it.
	11. Highlander’s Challenge by Jo Barrett (From: The Wild Rose Press).  I usually HATE Time Travel Romance. Och! But this year Jo proved she could make me like it. Kilts, jilts and all!
	10. Brothers In Arms Book1 ~ The Courage To Love by Samantha Kane (From: Ellora’s Cave).  Rocking Raunchy Regency! Ms. Kane proves kickin in your knickers on the parlor room rug while getting all those nasty Regency rug burns is just so so good.
	9. My Fair Captain by J.L. Langley (From: Samhain).  Regency meets Science Fiction in a Gay Romance. I loved this furry chested cover too! More body hair in Romance!
	8. To Touch The Stars by Sienna Black (From: Liquid Silver).  Sienna Black wrote a Science Fiction Gay Romance with a blind hero no less. Liquid Silver keeps giving us some really twisted eBooks. All hail our Liquid Silver Overlords!
	7. Home ~ Alpha Book 3 by Treva Harte (From: Loose-Id).  Treva Harte finished her Alpha Series this year and man was it a must read. You can find the whole series together in one book in print from Loose-Id called Alpha.
	6. Thirty Days by Shayla Kersten (From: Liquid Silver Books).  Another Liquid Silver eBook and a dang good Gay BDSM Romance. Loved it!
	5. The Guardian League 3 ~ Chosen by Amelia Elias (From: Samhain). Amelia came out with the third book in her Guardian League Series from Samhain. Another yummy hero to read about. I can’t wait till she writes me that Gay Guardian book she promised me. I hope she remembers. *sigh*
	4. Dunvegan Wolf Clan Book 1 ~ The Heart Of The Winter Wolf by Dani Harper (From: New Concepts Publishing).  A wonderful Werewolf Romance for a cold winter’s night, get some hot cocoa and the fuzzy socks and curl up to this one.
	3. Master Of Obsidian by Jamie Craig (From: Amber Heat).  Jamie Craig does what J.R. Ward only wishes she had the guts to do and wrote a Gay Vampire Romance. I loved every scary minute of this one. Yes!
	2. Cascadia Wolves: Wolf Unbound by Lauren Dane (From: Samhain). Coming January 1st!  It’s not out yet, but that is not stopping the Pig from drooling over it. *waves* Hey Lauren, we are waiting patiently.
	1. Shelly Laurenston (From: Samhain).  I had a great time this year reading all the Shelly Laurenston books Samhain republished. Thank you for some great laughs Shelly. You know, if Romantic Paranormal Comedy was a drug you’d be my favorite pusher. So lay down some more lines for the New Year Shelly I need a bump.

Happy eBook Reading!

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