Those Bitches at Smart Bitches Trashy Books have shared with us their version of the 12 Days of Christmas.  Sing along, won’t you?

 

The Bitches’ 12 Days of Christmas

 On the first day of Christmas my Smart Bitch sent to me…
a well-oiled man-titty.

 On the second day of Christmas my Smart Bitch sent to me…
two gentle rogues
and a well-oiled man-titty.

 On the third day of Christmas my Smart Bitch sent to me…
three naked dukes
two gentle rogues
and a well-oiled man-titty.

 On the fourth day of Christmas my Smart Bitch sent to me…
four throbbing swords
three naked dukes
two gentle rogues
and a well-oiled man-titty.

On the fifth day of Christmas my Smart Bitch sent to me…
fiiiiiiive spurts of seeeeeeed!
four throbbing swords
three naked dukes
two gentle rogues
and a well-oiled man-titty.

 On the sixth day of Christmas my Smart Bitch sent to me…
six virgin widows
fiiiiiiive spurts of seeeeeeed!
four throbbing swords
three naked dukes
two gentle rogues
and a well-oiled man-titty.

On the seventh day of Christmas my Smart Bitch sent to me…
seven angsty vampires
six virgin widows
fiiiiiiive spurts of seeeeeeed!
four throbbing swords
three naked dukes
two gentle rogues
and a well-oiled man-titty.

 On the eighth day of Christmas my Smart Bitch sent to me…
eight horny werewolves
seven angsty vampires
six virgin widows
fiiiiiiive spurts of seeeeeeed!
four throbbing swords
three naked dukes
two gentle rogues
and a well-oiled man-titty.

 On the ninth day of Christmas my Smart Bitch sent to me…
nine pebbled nubbins
eight horny werewolves
seven angsty vampires
six virgin widows
fiiiiiiive spurts of seeeeeeed!
four throbbing swords
three naked dukes
two gentle rogues
and a well-oiled man-titty.

 On the tenth day of Christmas my Smart Bitch sent to me…
ten rakes reforming
nine pebbled nubbins
eight horny werewolves
seven angsty vampires
six virgin widows
fiiiiiiive spurts of seeeeeeed!
four throbbing swords
three naked dukes
two gentle rogues
and a well-oiled man-titty.

 On the eleventh day of Christmas my Smart Bitch sent to me…
eleven scheming mamas
ten rakes reforming
nine pebbled nubbins
eight horny werewolves
seven angsty vampires
six virgin widows
fiiiiiiive spurts of seeeeeeed!
four throbbing swords
three naked dukes
two gentle rogues
and a well-oiled man-titty.

 On the twelfth day of Christmas my Smart Bitch sent to me…
twelve savage thunders
eleven scheming mamas
ten rakes reforming
nine pebbled nubbins
eight horny werewolves
seven angsty vampires
six virgin widows
fiiiiiiive spurts of seeeeeeed!
four throbbing swords
three naked dukes
two gentle rogues
and a well-oiled man-titty.

Friday night is the night of parties and such at RWA. We had RSVP’ed to attend three and were going to go back to the room before heading out to the Harlequin party. I am forever a dumbass and didn’t notice it was at another hotel.

On our way back to the room we ended up in the bar, ran into some authors who were gonna go crash and decided to walk with them to the hotel. My migraine was back, my feet were killing me and I am a wuss. Seeing HelenKay and Sylvia Day sitting in the bar waiting for Kate Duffy was my sign I needed to sit my ass down.

I had never met Kate Duffy and I bother her often with emails so I had to stay. And when she joined us she didn’t even scream in horror and send me away. Cool huh?

Since my buds had left for Harlequin and moving seemed like a really really bad idea, I made a pest of myself for two or three hours. Sadly since I already had a migraine I didn’t even add more than one virgin drink to the bar tab. (I think I had one glass of wine during the whole conference)

Not really much to report on the whole thing. It is somewhat shocking to me that authors make such asses of themselves in front of editors. Another author who joined us later had no clue who I was, even after I tried to explain, and went on at length to tell me what was bad about online reviews.

Well not really… it started with she was really fine with them. If they are done right. To which I asked what ‘right’ meant… I am still not sure but I do know if you say a book made you take an asprin after you finished it that is attacking the author. I still don’t make that connection but to each their own.

A group of people joined us at one point, we were very happy to see them, I had no clue who the hell they were. Turned out it was Hilary and I am pretty sure her daughter and soon to be son-in-law. Sadly I didn’t get a chance to be introduced because she slipped away before I could pounce. I know! I wasn’t feeling well, what can I say.

Jami joined us, lovingly fondingly her book Built. Sylvia Day flipped through it looking for the dirty parts, at least that is what it looked like she was doing. There were random other authors popping in and out, trying to catch a ride on the Kensington tab. And really just doing a great job on networking.

HelenKay kept staring at me, I think waiting for me to mock the stupid but I was on my best behavior. Ok really I just wasn’t feeling well and maybe a touch in shock. A few notes if an editor askes you what you write – Smut – isn’t a good answer. Please someone correct me if I am wrong. Stories of how you buy your mom vibrators for christmas – not impressive. Oh and just to help clear it up in case anyone doesn’t know it – Kate Duffy – doesn’t edit the erotic romance line, Aphrodisia. (hmmm at least I don’t think so…)

I met a lovely couple David Wind and his omfg fabulous wife Bonnie. No really, I will forever loveseses her for giving me Sudafed on Saturday. I was sort of like what the hell ever at that point. And it worked! The woman is a god.

The funniest part of the night was when sarah and candy came back from wherever the hell they had been and were oh so nice to check up on me (although I think they just noticed who I was sitting next too ). Sarah was very motherly and told me I looked like shit and she hoped I felt better soon (I did too). And I got to say hello again to the oh so fab Heather Osborn (editor at TOR).

After I sat back down I leaned over to Kate, most likely scaring her, and quietly asked if she wanted to meet the Smart Bitches. The bar was loud and she gave me an odd look, thinking on it now the woman prolly thought I called her a bitch. It had been an odd night for people saying strange shit to Kate Duffy, so I repeated myself thinking lovely she prolly hates the bitches. And she was like oh, I would love to meet them but I haven’t seen them.

So I once again played hostess (I can’t remember all the people I introduced to other people… sniff no one prolly even recalls meeting ME) and caught Sarah’s eye and waved her over. Candy soon followed and there were bitches all around. Turns out Kate reads the Smart Bitches blog… who knew? The bitches than waddled off and we spent a good 30 minutes talking about blogs and the good things they are doing for the industry. I know oddly enough many a person doesn’t know about blogs and bloggers! David Wind pulled out his cell phone and next I knew I was recommending Joey Hill’s book The Vampire Servant because the cover caught his eye on my blog. Behold the Power of Blogs.

I can’t remember when I made my exit but I would bet those girls (and guy) closed the bar. Me? I went upstairs and passed out, without ever taking a drink. All in all though, it was a blast. Even if I didn’t leave with a copy of Built *g*.

Due to the ever wonderful Smart Bitches I have a $10 gift cert to use at Amazon. So I must spend 25 so I get free shipping.

duh

So what do I want to get? Any suggestions? I want Lord of Sin, but I want it as soon as I can. So I shouldn’t order it.

I just bought:
Bet Me by Jennifer Cruise (my first of her)
Only with Your Love by Lisa Kleypas
Prairie Wife by Cheryl St John
Angel Rogue Mary Jo Putney
Turn Left At Sanity by Nancy Warren
Lady’s Choice by Winnie Griggs
Bad Boys Down Under by Nancy Warren

sssssoooooo what books do I get now