I have felt like crap for most of the week and am a bit medicated so I offer up nothing really in terms of thoughts or ponderings on RT. At least not at this time… maybe later maybe not… then again anyone who knows me knows regardless of my opinion on jack I have to say to each their own.

but this…

well first – TURN DOWN YOUR SPEAKERS -

Are they down? DAMN it, you blow your shit I don’t want to hear about it. Got it?

turn them down or turn them off…

k?

k

tra la la

brought to you by the letters c-h-e-e-s-y

and

E – C

and

R – T

And god damn it if you are related to me in any way get the fuck off my blog – please and thank you

It is a time and place thing I think. If this is an after hours party – completely optional – ::shrug:: RT is presented as a reader and author thang. RWA isn’t a reader/author get together. So this would have less of a place there or I could see authors getting more worked up about the ‘party’ feel of it. Now I am not saying it means go cop a feel, wear a button (although I am all for buttons in general for most things I got a fangrrl one you know) and no always means get your fucking hands off me you moron.

but uh that could just be me… what do you think… come on ladies… let me hear you scream

by TGTBTU’s “Author on the Scene” Lynne C

My last RT report I’m staying the extra night in the hope of getting a good night’s sleep and a fresh start in the morning. New York, here I come! I’m staying a few days at the kind invitation of Katherine Falk before I go home to Blighty.

I’m a bit of a squee fangirl about New York, probably the most exciting skyline in the world. Well, as long as the Chrysler building is a part of it. For anyone who dashed home last night, I can recommend the extra day. Some great wind-down affairs, the Samhain Sayonara party, the Psychic Event and the final final event, a pyjama party complete with comfy sofas and old romantic comedies. With popcorn and soda. Can’t think of a better way to wind down.

We watched “Dirty Dancing” and “Practical Magic,” not one of my favourite films, but it definitely improves when you watch it in the company of other tired romance lovers. Definitely the best way to unwind. Earlier, I took part in the Psychic Sunday event and did some Tarot readings. My grandmother taught me the cards, the palm and the tealeaves (she was a Romany) but only the cards stuck. It was fun to get back to something I haven’t done for a while and now I wonder why I ever stopped.

Oh, and I heard some great news later, which I can’t tell you yet, but I’m very excited about it. Sorry to be enigmatic, but I can’t say anything yet. [ed: feel free to call her names]

All through the conference I’ve been using my brand new Asus eee, a tiny but fully functional laptop. This thing is about the size and weight of a hardback book, but man, it rocks. Every time I got it out people wanted to know what it was and where they could get one. I think I sold more of those babies than I did my books! I should ask for a commission. Now for the hottest gossip of the whole conference. Pin back your lugholes and get a load of this.

Last night, one of the Mr. Romance contestants was taken away on a gurney. Earlier in the conference, we learned that Jesse had spent some time in a mental institution. He confessed to it at a show-and-tell session. Well so what, a lot of people have. Jesse was sharing a room with Chris Winters and after Chris won the title, Jesse attacked him. The men in white coats arrived and Jesse was removed, sitting upright, smiling and waving cheerily at all and sundry. I don’t know what they gave him, but it must have been mighty fine stuff. So we can really say that RT is total madness.

Earlier RT reports: First Impressions (Day One), Day Two, And on the third day, Model Madness

The Model Contest: Romance Style…
by Lynne Connolly

And so to the final full day. The book signing day! I’m not signing at the big fair this year, so I had a wonderful time wandering around the packed ballroom and talking to some of my heroines, squeeing at the likes of Mary Jo Putney and Pat Rice, and buying books. Just what I need. All those romance authors in one room, and they all got on like crazy, lots of chatting and hugging. Women together are real bitches. So not.

Last night I was inveigled into helping with the Lotus Circle tarot readings. I’d brought two packs with me, my old Rider pack and a new French deck I’m working with. I left the Thoth pack at home. They’re one of the original 12 test decks printed when the Crowley Thoth deck was first considered for use, instead of the book where they’d resided for fifty years. They are not easy to read, so I use them for in depth work, and there is no way they would work properly here. But we raised a good amount of money for a worthy cause and we’re doing it again on Sunday.

I did lose my voice, though, shouting above all the squealing and screaming. I can’t tell you about the cover model dinner, because I didn’t go. Not my thing, really and I wasn’t particularly hungry, even for beefcake. So Fabio and Adrian Paul came and went without me. The poor dears. Then I suppose I should talk about Mr. Romance (sigh, stifled yawn!) The contestants worked really hard all week, garnering votes and being generally nice chaps.

The contest was its usually cheesy self, hugely enjoyable and squirmy (though not necessarily in a good way). When the guys lined up in their smart casuals at the end I had a revelation. Buy some Armani or Hugo Boss, guys. A good suit can make a man, and you will, I promise, look even more gorgeous. Last year’s winner, Jason Santiago was as gracious as any contestant in a beauty contest (what, did you think it was their personalities we were whooping at?) and yes, he wore a good suit that smoothed over his nice abundant curves. John Fish won two awards, nice piece of beefcake that he is, and the two runners up to the main prize were James Gaskin and Fred Williams, both oozing sex appeal and baby oil. The winner was Chris Winters. He is going to look stunning on the cover of a Shomi book, you mark my words.

Later, as well as sponsoring the Cover Model contest, Dorchester held its annual party. A proper party with a great band playing great music, with melon and crackers and cheese and hot pretzels which I would have liked a bit of butter on, but when I said that my table companions recoiled in horror. Mustard just isn’t my thing, but I do like a piece of bread and butter from time to time. Most of the cover models and the Cavemen were present, having fun and winding down after their exhausting day. Looking beautiful is hard work.

Because I’m an Ellora’s Cave author, I got to see a teeny bit more than most, although I haven’t discovered who is on the cover of Icefire, coming to Ellora’s on May 2nd. Any ideas?

[Ed.: This is Chris Winters too.  HAMINA HAMINA HAMINA!]

Day Four: Go for the Burn…by LynneC

We’re all getting stir crazy here. Some great sessions and some not so great today. This morning a very useful and informative session on Series Romance after a wholly enjoyable Ellora’s Cave private brunch. We got a star of our very own and a really cool bag with lots of pockets. I love me some pockets.

We opted to go out for lunch and completely forgot we weren’t in the presence of romance authors, ending up discussing the difficulties of writing a menage scene when you have no Barbie dolls handy (sometimes Barbie dolls are an erotic romance author’s best friend!) and then the different things you can do in a love swing and how it was completely essential to fix the thing into the strongest beams in the house. It did go a little silent around us. They were either listening or making plans.

Back to a great session on plagiarism, run by Jennifer Blake, Roberta Gellis and Bertice Small. Very informative, with legal definitions, ethical definitions and not one mention of ferrets. I took notes. Interesting that the US was one of the last countries to sign the Berne Convention, where countries promised to respect each others’ copyright laws. Next, China, then we’ll be set.

If you ask for tea here, it comes tasting of coffee. I’m not sure they know the difference, or they boil the water in tea containers. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m fond of coffee, but it’s not the necessity that tea is.

The editor panel was crazy. A room full of sighing fangirls, and I do mean full. Packed. I shared a seat with a kind colleague, but I didn’t stay long. From what I heard later I didn’t miss a huge amount. What they want, what they don’t want and when will the publishers want books about a one-fanged vampwolf in outer space. Like Jennifer Crusie said a few years ago, they want a good book. Me? I just keep writing and keep going. I’m happy where I am for now, and it’s nice to be able to sit back and watch for a bit. But that room was far too hot for the people in it, and the airlessness got to me early. Editors, if you need a one-fanged vampwolf, I’m definitely not your woman.

See also: Day One, Day Two, Day Three

There’s video of Day 1 and 2 behind the cut.

‘Cuz you know you need to know.

Rebels of Romance’s video of Day 1.

by TGTBTU’s “Author on the Scene” Lynne C

The internet here is a bit hit and miss. Hundreds of people descending on a hotel and instantaneously plugging in their laptops and logging on will do that. So I’m online when I can. Excitement and exhaustion is setting in wholesale.

After the Ellora’s Cave party last night, came the EC spotlight with a more serious side (and more serous hats!) Ellora’s never stands still, and Raelene Gorlinsky announced a new revamp of the ratings. The old S-E-X ratings will go and new, more descriptive ones will take their place with new icons. I’m wondering if my E rating is still good, because I worked hard for that E, dammit!

Samhain Publishing is going from strength to strength, and submissions are still open for new, exciting romantic fiction. I have some gorgeous new book covers, but you really don’t want to know about that, do you? A lot of business goes on here, behind the scenes, and what you don’t see is as important as what you do see. If you know people by sight, watch for small, interesting groups of people and see who is talking, and who isn’t. For all the fun, deals are made here.

The Lightning and Thunder lunch featured Helen A. Rosburg, back from a serous illness, and back with a bang. I love me some cowboys and Helen has a new book out, Blaze of Lightning, Roar of Thunder which has new, darker themes which may help to revitalize the Western. Her little scenario, a kind of live action trailer was well done, and an interesting way of presenting a book. I kept thinking it must have cost her a small fortune, but hey, if you get Jason Santiago as your hero, who cares? Still, I would have liked to see less fringe and more chest on the divine Jason!

The hotel hasn’t built its Grand Staircase to the ballroom yet, so the narrow, concreted and whitewashed backstairs are thronged with authors, readers and librarians in their glad rags. Not seen any booksellers on the service stairs yet, so I’m wondering if they just fly!

So on to the Fairy Ball. The costumes are so elaborate and so pretty it’s hard to put it into words, but I have to because I take such lousy pictures. I took a lot, but they’re all unprintable. Most of the costumes are hand made and it makes you wonder how much time the authors have left to write! The standouts for me were Tawny Taylor, Stephanie “Flash” Burke and Kevin Beard. Kevin was born to be Neptune, I swear. Tawny was resplendent in ripples of blue, the queen of the sea come to life, with a polythene sheet to add gloss. Flash was leggy, gauzy and edgy, as well as gorgeous. Me? Blue, with little black feathery wings and a matching fan, but less a costume, more an effort to blend in. The Fairy court were their very gracious selves, and since the theme was Under The Sea, lots of greens and blues abounded. Or maybe awashed.

Or something.

Anyone would think I was a writer.

Earlier RT reports: First Impressions (Day One), Day Two

by Lynne Connolly, TGTBTU’s Author on the Spot at RT

Wednesday. The day started with bag stuffing. Lots of laughter as we got the Ellora’s Cave bags ready for tonight. Christine McKay, who did a lot of Not Sock Puppets (hint – it doesn’t go on your feet, but it rhymes) kindly did us some duckie puppets – I’ll try to take a photo once I can get my camera to work. Just for us ducks!

After a reasonably civilised lunch with my Samhain editor, the delightful Angie James, back to the decidedly savage Linnea Sinclair in her usual hangout of the Intergalactic Bar and Grille and some fiendish questions on SF romance and the genre. Not one Dr. Who question!Then the ebook signing, a new venture and one that was very successful. Along the same lines as the Saturday signing, authors at tables had the chance to meet and greet, as well as download some seriously cool books. I signed cover flats and postcards for the Dept 57 books, the Pure Wildfire books and the Triple Countess series and met some great people. But by then jetlag had hit and half my brain, what there is left of it, was hovering somewhere across the Atlantic. So to anyone who is still waiting for me to finish one of those sentences, sorry, you’ll have to wait until it’s all caught up, The ebook signing really showed how far ebooks have come since the old Wild West days. Serious investment in quality and cover art, as well as the sheer number of authors signing was a strong reminder to me, anyway of the commitment of everyone involved, especially at the larger houses.

Okay, I made you wait long enough. The Cavemen gave a rousing start to the Ellora’s Cave party by escorting the authors across the stage. Nobody fell over and the costumes, to celebrate the Golden Age of Hollywood theme, were something to see. And when I can snag some pictures (I was walking, not snapping) I’ll try and get them up here. The guys selflessly refused all offers to help them prepare for their routine: a tribute to the people involved in the 9/11 followed by a version of “Greased Lighting” you won’t see in “Grease”. Then everyone headed for the chocolate fountain. I think I’m getting the hang of this RT business!

Lynne Connolly, paranormal and historical romance author, is our author on the scene at the famous and infamous RT Booklover’s covention. Beefcake, Costume Balls, Authors and hundreds of rabid romance fans. Here’s a little article. Read on for Lynne’s first report..

After an exhausting 12 hour journey I finally arrived at the Hilton. It’s still being renovated, but it will be stunning when it’s finished. Our room is beautiful and the staff enormously helpful.

But that isn’t what you want to know about, is it?

Thought not.

Last night I went to the Ellora’s Cave Virgins party and met my fellow – erm – virgins. A nice place to unwind, catch up on gossip (what you think I’m going to spill without teasing a bit?) but as yet everyone is settling in and no definite news about anything. Except that we’re here, registered and ready to rock (and roll).

The Cavemen turned up at the party, a very nice set of men, but don’t you ever think that when you go out on a date, you want to be the pretty one?

All tanned and buffed and ready for action, they refused several kind and thoughtful offers of help oiling up for the stage, though how they’re going to manage that awkward bit in the middle of their backs without help, I’m not sure.

Unless, of course, they help each other.

Now that sounds interesting. I wonder if they sell tickets?