So actually, I really wanted to title this “can’t we all just be average?” But honestly - would that catch your attention? Would you care about a post like that? And who knows. Maybe I feel like stirring the pot. (Not really, but since when have I not been stubborn? Never. That’s when.)

I will say I keep a relatively low profile, because I’m paranoid. I’m also somewhat young, and I’d like to keep my options open for the public, and private sector. And I’ve seen how bat shit crazy some people get on the internet. I know if someone really wanted to find information about me, they could. Easily. But the idea is for me not to catch the attention of “teh crazies.”

I never know what will resonate with others, or not. I thought Raoul Bova (the 1st guy in “Under the Tuscan Sun”) would be big in romance land. Even though I’m pretty over him now, I had quite liked him. And admit it. We all know how much romance readers, writers, and bloggers like pouring over the eye candy.  Which is why I’m going to post pictures of Andy Whitfield and Matthew Bomer. (Both of whom I mentioned in my brilliant post The Curse of Ennui.) Actually, the post I most wanted people to read was simply titled You Guys. [Come on - I thought it was very mature, and fitting across the board and applies to a number of situations. Me! Mature!]

I also had a contest post talking about… contests, but I’m about to almost renege on my stance for the one of the parts, but I think for good cause. (Keep an eye out- I’m giving away Jill Shalvis’s Double Play, and I’d like to give away HelenKay Dimon’s Holding Out For a Hero for another. Hopefully I’ll be able to get it, and I didn’t just embarrass myself be becoming a liar.)

Anyway, I scan twitter like I imagine police officers listen to the police scanner these days. I’m on hiatus. It’s no fun. Apparently I depend on twitter for a lot of my social interaction. I choose not to ponder that carefully. (Also because my age demographic, most of my friend’s lives are in the toilet right now. That’s also not a subject I want to address because I’m rather bitter about it all.) I see comments on certain posts, or discussions.

A recent [yet recurring one] is being part of the “in crowd.” Everyone knows the “big blogs” in romance land are DA and SBTB. Most people also know about KKB and KB seems to be getting more attention these days too. I’d do links, but right now I’m too lazy. Maybe later. Or maybe one of the amazing schedulers/formatters at the pond will take care of it. It seems everyone also knows about Mrs. Giggles, and… that one lady who does a billion reviews a day, but oftentimes seems she reads a different book from the rest of us. (My memory is ril gud. Honest. Hah! Harriet Klausner. It came to me in a few days. See?!)

Let me first say, I don’t [regularly] visit any of those blogs. Everyone once in a blue moon I’ll click over, but I generally… just don’t. I’ve enjoyed what I’ve read at Mrs. Giggles- it seems she is willing to say what others aren’t. Karen does too, but I think I’m kind of scared of her. (I also want to say, I have a slightly more positive association with Mrs. Giggles because some people have asked me if I’m her O_o. Well, I’m not. But I’d be super cool if I was! Also, Sybs told me flat out she’d kill me if I was and was lying to her. As you see, Sybs is also scary, and made of hilarious awesome.) Oh! But I also like how people in the comments at Karen’s blog are willing to call others out. Karen especially. Accountability is also important. (And I think people just wouldn’t ask Karen what her problem is, because she’d tell them. Then demand an answer to her question. Waste of time - best to answer first.) Would I do it in the exact same way? No - but I’m not Karen. Nevertheless, I like that she can be a bulldog with certain points. I definitely respect and appreciate that.

Generally, people like being agreeable. It’s empirically proven. If you want someone to agree with you, you end your sentence with some sort of affirmative, right? Or maybe, it’s people don’t like saying “no.” Which is why I sometimes end a sentence with “no?” (Because it amuses me.) Truth. You can talk circles around people with things like this. It’s also why people who write surveys or conduct polling obsess so much over wording and answer choices. (Yay, I’m finally putting some of my college education to good use! *snork*) This is a good, and bad thing.

The purpose of saying something bellicose (yay Latin!) then, is more hits. More publicity, more more more. Would I love to be paid to sit around and read and review books and blog? You bet a significant amount I would! (I’d say life but that seems too drastic, no?) Also… I don’t really see what’s so special about me that I should be paid to do that. I also think I’d run out of content pretty quickly. (And, at a few of the blogs I visit regularly, I’m 60% sure the others have no idea I’m a reviewer.) A friend from college recently told me I’m in the top 1% of … something… edumacated… (I like to think I have a sense of humor too, ok? In fact, maybe this entire damn blog post is an exercise in building up my fragile ego. So humor me, dammit.) That was a somewhat good feeling, then again, my current circumstances are pretty sad. So it doesn’t matter. But that statement circles back to my “popular” topic - which also fosters “SPECIAL!” and “IMPORTANT!” (See? There’s a logical connection.)

I also believe strongly in standing by what I say, so I prefer not to say something extremely stringent or polarized, because I’m also extremely inconsistent. I change my mind a lot, it seems, and am indecisive. I simply refuse to be fake. If I don’t like you, I prefer to not deal with you entirely. Or, I’ll exchange a civil “hello” and move on, careful not to engage in any other way.

Opinions are all well and good, as long as they hover somewhere around the realm of reason. I know people get called Nazi’s a lot… which… really makes the word lose all meaning. And belittles actual historical events. (Though admit it - the Nazi uniforms were hot. They had some tailoring and style going on. Sad about you know, all the other connotations attached…) A lot of people seem to harbor a lot of antagonism toward Jane, Sarah, and Karen, I’m going to say off the top of my head. I’m sure there are a myriad of reasons and potentialities for this. And as I said - everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. Others, dislike them for their “popularity.” I tend to associate mob mentality, to DA and SBTB, more, especially, based simply on what I’ve seen/heard.

Something else that might bother people is the general tone of “sycophantic” support found in a number of regulars. I won’t name who said that to protect the guilty. You know, props to “the big blogs” for creating such supportive communities. I say as long as the crazy is kept to the keyboard and not violating laws or infringing on people’s privacy… well,  better to rant online than shoot someone. I might wonder how these people actually act in person as well. But I’m too lazy. My blogging self is close to identical to my “real life self.” Or at least I like to think so. I over think. (But I think I’m right.)

In short, I’m deciding to be guilty of exactly what people are fed up with - talking to hear the sound of my own voice. Or, I guess typing to see my own words published on a blog. (And we’re all missing out, really, because I have quite a nice voice. Honest. Ask Sybs (or don’t really, she gets mad at me too often) JenB, or c2, or Holly. I’m pretty sure all of them have heard me speak, or at least read something.) Anyway, my point is… there is something slightly narcissistic about blogging. (And who here thinks Echo was dumb as hell for falling in love with a gay man? Hm, apparently late night posts under extreme stress make me more incendiary. Or just make really random comments that too easily can be misconstrued.)

I like to think I contribute something to the community, either by persuading, or outright bullying people into buying books I enjoyed. (I’m pretty talkative, as you can see.) Or my little Share the Love thing I did around the holidays. I’d like to have more giveaways, but I’m poor. Like, embarrassingly poor. But it’s ok, because I’ve been a student for so long I’m too poor to afford pride. So I have none. Maybe some day when I grow up and stuff, I’ll wish I never wrote this. (No but srsly, at this point, it’s true.) So really, I’m just talking to have something to do in between what I should be doing. And I like talking with you. Truly.

Not that I’ll do it if I don’t want to, but what interests you? How did you find out about the pond? What makes you come back? What makes you a kind soul who comments on these posts? (And did I tell you every time you comment on a post at the pond a fairy gets its wings? And two fairies get their wings when you comment on one of my posts?) Honestly, I am curious, because some of you who comment have been swimming around the pond longer than I have. And new or old, you all rock.

So go ahead - help some fairies get their wings! (I’d add a picture but dammit I can’t find one. And Sybs - before you get mad at me again, doing this cut into my sleeping time only, not my other stuff time  )