Comments on: PONDERING: Life’s long, strange ride

By: Gwen

Gwen — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 02:51:59 +0000

A’lady – It most definitely does not offend. Thanks.

By: azteclady

azteclady — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 02:38:38 +0000

(((Gwen)))

(If it doesn’t offend, I would like to add you and your family to my prayers)

By: limecello

limecello — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 07:59:29 +0000

*hugs*

By: Holly

Holly — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 07:49:49 +0000

This post really struck a cord with me. We had a health scare with my grandfather earlier in the week and it really made me see how much he and my grandmother have aged. I swear I still see them in my head as the young, vibrant people who I thought were old when I was young. Now…well, it’s hard sometimes.

My daughter is a teenager now. A TEENAGER. I have no idea how this happened, but Lord am I struggling with it. I look at her now and I think, “WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BABY!?!?”. She has books and a butt and boys and teen drama and…it’s frustrating.

So I’m with ya, girl. It’s hard getting older and watching those we love get older.

But hey, at least we still have each other.

By: Gwen

Gwen — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 03:34:39 +0000

Thanks Julia. I love this community.

By: Julia Barrett

Julia Barrett — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 20:46:12 +0000

I’m a hospice nurse, so as you can imagine, my perspective is a bit odd. Yes, aging sucks and no, it doesn’t. Makes no sense, I know. Aging to the point where you are weak and ill and infirm and cannot care for yourself does indeed, suck. But, if we live long enough, there is no alternative. It ain’t all bad. Love survives. I know how you feel about watching video of your daughter when she was young. It’s so poignant, it hurts, deep in your chest. The trick, though trite, is to live each day as though it is your last, do not look too far ahead or too far behind, and a little denial goes a long way. Plus, keep yourself active. Eat healthy stuff, imbibing occasional gobs of good quality chocolate, don’t smoke, exercise regularly (use it or lose it) and keep your weight down, drink in moderation…and know that in the end, everything will be okay.
I’m sorry about your parents. I’ll be getting there in a few years. Feel free to email me off line if you ever want to talk.

By: Gwen

Gwen — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 19:43:31 +0000

Jackie – you’re so right. And I’m convinced that the ONLY reason there are so many of us on this planet is because we’re supposed to help each other. Family can take many forms – blood relations or just choice.
.
Lynne – getting older just bites. I love the wisdom that has come with age. But I’m not entirely sure it’s worth the price. I mean, c’mon!
.
Rebecca – What particularly distresses me is when I find a guy attractive and discover I’m old enough to be his mother. Argh!

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 18:32:36 +0000

Great post. Although I don’t have kids, I notice myself aging more in relation to kids than anything else. (I work with kids.) It’s amazing to me when they don’t know a song I know, or they call me old, or they use words I never use. I’m also starting to get pains in my hands, which freaks me out because I’m a writer, and I have to type every day for hours at a time. But I remind myself that it will be manageable. And it’s part of getting old.

But, like you said, I sort of live every day waiting for the other shoe to drop…

Thanks for the post.

By: Lynne Connolly

Lynne Connolly — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 14:57:50 +0000

I hear you. I lost my father a while back. He made the millennium – just. Mum gets more frail every day, but still walks and walks and gardens. She was supposed to have died at birth, she weighed around a pound and was ‘smaller than a milk bottle.’ But here she is, nearing 80 and still with us.
I’ve had arthritis most of my life and finally it’s starting to get its own back. It started with pregnancy and just kept encroaching. I just have to pace myself a bit better (some hope!) But on the other hand, my chronic travel sickness has all but gone and I can travel without spending a couple of days resting either end of the trip. No, at the beginning, but the rest at the end of the trip is because I’ve worn myself out having a good time! I don’t do beaches, prefer cities and museums and shops, and I’m looking forward no end to Chicago in April (I’m going there before flying on to Romantic Times).
Plus ca change, plus la meme chose.

By: Jackie Burris

Jackie Burris — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 12:37:27 +0000

I can sympathize, empathize and totally hear your angst! My Mom and Dad had 52 years, 7 months and 11 days together before my Father passed away this last June 2009 on Father’s Day.
He to had been the strong, hearty main stay of my Mother’s life up until Congestive Heart Failure and Diabetes started to knock him down in 1988. All my life had been my Dad’s shadow, an only child and a daughter to boot so he was my big strong Hero for most of my lifetime. 12 months ago all that changed when Dementia set it’s ugly claws in on top of all the physical ailments the big strong hero became a bewildered and sometimes frightened old man.
The hardest thing in life is not to have a child and raise it, but to be a child who has to become a care giver of ones dying parent. My father lived also many years more than what the doctors had given him, my wonderful sweet Mom is the reason also. At the sacrifice for years of her own health and rest she cared for Dad, the last 3 years in myself and my husband’s home. The good memories are finally coming without so many tears, the pictures and videos now bringing honest fond smiles. The pain of losing a parent does not go away, however the thought of them being at peace goes a long way towards helping to heal..
Hang in there and know that you are not alone and good luck with the future, sometimes forced change brings us to grips with what is truly precious. Our families and friends who love us and whom we love in return, while we have the chance to cherish them on earth make the most of it!!!