I am still re-taging & re-formating posts and this made me giggle so you can giggle too and hey add to the list.
From a discussion Gwen, Syb and I had over margaritas the other night. . .
1. The proper way to phrase things when having cyber sex.
2. What not to say to your sig-other (“I don’t know where you end and I begin” urp – I think I just vomited a little in my mouth, besides that would scare the shit out of me).
3. For some reason that whorehouse madam always has a heart of gold. . .
4. How to wear a ripped bodice. And a little bosom heaving is a good thing.
5. That size really does matter! There’s also the pointers on how to fluff his ego by different ways to say “My goodness, it’s so big!”
6. For some reason the evil men in your life get the stuffing beat out of them by your hero. At some point. Even for just looking at you wrong.
7. They had dirty, tantric, Kama Sutra position sex way back when.
8. Alpha males can rock your world. Even if they piss you off.
9. Bluestocking is just another word for feminist. And really people, is a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it in any time period a bad thing?
10. Only in a romance novel will there be a virgin widow, or a virgin with no fears of sex, or the first time not hurting at all ’cause he’s that damn good, or the super sperm that will make the most infertile bride become preggers with just steamy look in her general direction.
Of course the list isn’t complete, but are there things that you have learned from reading romance that you’d like to share?
That mind blowing sex can be had even though there are men with guns waiting to snipe your ass.
CindyS
Damn and we forgot two’s company but three is the greatest pleasure a woman can ever have and a man who truly lurves her wants to share that with her and his best friend/brother/cousin.
Cindy, you’ve been reading Linda Howard haven’t you? *g*
That you haven’t lived if you haven’t had a finger shoved up your bum during foreplay!
Anal sex on the first date is the path to happily ever after.
HAHAHA! I totally forgot about that.
Other things I’ve learned reading romance novels:
1. Foreplay isn’t taking the trash out and wiping the kitchen counter down. Damn that ex-husband of mine! I didn’t know what I was missing!
Haha, that’s awesome!
That dyeing your hair blond and getting some hoochie clothes + heels will land you the man of your dreams. No for serious. He’ll take a look at your water bra boobs and newly lasik-ed eyes and say “I luuurrrve you for your amazing personality even though I never saw you before and it’s totally NOT about the pumped up looks!”
that what he really wants is to spend an hour with his face in your ya-ya. It’s all about you, baby.
Virgins have no need to fear sex because the fist time doesn’t hurt after one’s maidenhood is broken.
(Two in one! Romancelandia psychology and anatomy!)
Ah, I’d forgotten about this post. . .and it’s still very funny.
Here’s my list:
1. If I have a male best friend, he will be happy to find another guy to share my threesome fantasies with.
2. Sex really does heal everything from low self-esteem to psychotic tendencies.
3. Every woman has a sweet, aluring scent that apparently comes out when she doesn’t wear perfume.
4. Simultaneous orgasm really is possible and the only way to know if you’re doing it right.
5. Men totally whinge bout their love lives all the time when they’re together.
And mean ol gwen wanted to get rid of old post or something… sheeze
Shannon you mean men didn’t really sit around White’s back in the good ol’ regency days and play card’s, drink brandy and talk about their lurve lives?
This all made me laugh!
“That mind blowing sex can be had even though there are men with guns waiting to snipe your ass.”
I just read the new Anne Stuart book, Fire and Ice (loving that series by the way) and that definitely applies towards the end!
I just got saw an interesting post by copyblogger titled:
“What Romance Novels Can Teach You About Powerful Copywriting” so apprently all these years I’ve spent reading I’m actually doing research 🙂
http://www.copyblogger.com/romance-novels/
To get any love in the here and now, you have to be a sexy FBI agent, cop or freaking special ops on a dangerous mission. (yes, I mean the women)