You’re right that it has to be hard on guards, too. They don’t know whom to trust, and in the prison system they’re in no small amount of danger. Gangs pose a threat to them and to their families. If they bust the gang member on the inside, other gang members on the outside threaten their wives and kids. Not pretty. The whole thing is really a mess, when it comes down to it. It would be nice if everyone would obey the law but that’s not how the real world is.

I feel sorry for the guards as well, who can’t trust whether someone is actually having a seizure or not. Prisons and jails affect everyone in them.

I admire what you do through Street Law. I think what makes the difference for some kids is just connecting with someone from beyond their own circumstances, seeing that there’s other possibilities out there, other ways of doing things and thinking and being. I know adults who made a huge difference in my life and probably kept me from following a darker path.

As for the guards, it must be HARD to have that job and not get jaded. Journalists get jaded after a while (yes, I have my moments, believe me) because people constantly push us to pimp them or cover their pet issue or act like their molehill is a mountain. We see the best of people and the worst of people. It gets to you. Guards see mostly the worst of people. I think it would be hard to hang on to faith in humanity under those circumstances. The guards I saw were really pretty decent toward the inmates with the occasional comment. Then again, they knew I was a journalist so it’s not like they’re going to mess up when I have a line straight to the jail captain and the newspaper.

The howling was truly otherwordly. Madhouse sort of creepy.

I live in an incredibly beatiful place. We’re right next to the mountains and at times it truly is salvation to look up and see something as breathtaking as those peaks.

Thanks for reading along, Limcello.

Jill, thanks so much for taking time to comment. You’re so welcome! I’m so glad you feel like you got something out of this. I really thank Sybil and Gwen again. I was just going to post these on my blog, but Sybil really felt they deserved a wider audience and was willing to provide it. So she and Gwen, who did all the design work, rock.

And thanks to EVERYONE for your wonderful comments and observations these past two weeks. It made sharing this experience a real joy.

Wow – this was my favorite post by far. It is really sad to think about these people who for the most part, are stuck. My friends and I were talking about that at lunch today. Maybe I’m naive, but I like to think that half the inner city kids we see/teach/mentioned won’t turn into criminals. A lot of it is circumstance, unfortunately. One of my 5th graders can’t read, and I can’t understand why her teacher doesn’t do anything about it. [A friend and I are both in a program called Street Law, where law students go to inner city schools and teach 4th-5th graders about the law, constitution, and civics.]
I imagine it’s tough to be a guard too – seeing the same sort of thing day in and day out – and with so many people doing crazy things, who’s to know what is real and what isn’t. My friend has to go to jail weekly, and sometimes prison – and she says every single person she’s spoken to claims s/he is innocent.
The howling inmate would have freaked me out – and thank goodness the women took the news of your being a reporter well. I’m a bit surprised the guards just blurted it out like that.
That picture of the mountains is gorgeous, and seeing something like that immediately after getting out must’ve been powerful.
Thanks for sharing with all of us!

Anji, you’re welcome! And thanks so much for reading along.

Holly, it was a very emotional experience at the time, and writing about it again made me teary-eyed, too. What’s so strange is that this “other world” is there 24/7 with its own extreme dramas, and yet most of us blessedly know nothing of it. My concern as a journalist is just that we, the people, are responsible for what happens in jails and prisons, so we need to be more aware.

Hi, Devon, you’re so right. No easy solutions, but it’s not good enough as it is. I found myself alternately wanting to scream at those women — “Get your lives together!” — and then really wondering if they even had the ability to do it, or the comprehension to understand what that means. It did leave me feeling very sad.

As a little P.S.: I went to the gym to shower after leaving the jail, and when I walked into the locker room, which is made out of cement blocks like the jail, I literally froze in my steps for a second. And that’s after 24 hours. I do think the impact of jail/prison on people’s minds is something that needs to be explore more deeply.

It makes me very sad to think about some of these women’s lives, and the paths that led them to where they are.

I wonder about the conditions in prison, too, especially the medical care. Some of them certainly deserve to be there, but other? I can only wonder if they aren’t worse off for having gone. Too many questions and not enough answers.

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us, Pamela!

You’re so welcome. And thanks to you for reading along.

You’re right that some inmates are just plain evil. People who hurt and abuse other people just stink. But most inmates these days are in prison for nonviolent crimes, many of them drug related. And while I don’t have the answers, I can’t help but ask questions. From my brief experience, I don’t see incarceration providing much good for people who are drug addicts. Instead, I think it adds another level of trauma to personalities that are already damaged.

In the meantime, the toughest questions involve how we treat people who are guilty of wrongdoing. Do we allow violence to flourish in our prisons? Do we care if people are beaten almost to death (as was one male inmate I’m about to interview)? What kind of medical care do we need to provide/

Again, I don’t have the answers, but it’s my job as a journalist to ask the questions.

Then, it’s my job as a fiction writer, to turn experience into something that’s fun to read and hopefully worth the 8 bucks. LOL!

Thanks again, Azteclady!

Each one of these inmates, women and men, are someone. While it’s true that some criminals are evil in the purest sense of the word, and that no amount of help or guidance would prevent them from harming others, I firmly believe that the majority of people who end up in jail do so because of a vicious circle of ignorance, unmet needs, and desperation.