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kidfinger.jpgYou may have seen this out in Internetlandia, but, in honor of my four nephews (yes I feel sorry for my sister-in-law) who I just found out have tried to jump off their roof to see if a sheet was a good parachute (it wasn’t – go figure), I thought I’d share.  Not all of these have been tried by my nephews, by the way, though I can’t imagine it will be long before they do…

  1. A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq.ft. house 4″ deep.
  2. If you spray dustbunnies with aerosol hairspray and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
  3. A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
  4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.
  5. However, it is strong enough that, if tied to a paint can, it can get paint on all four walls of a 20’x20′ room.
  6. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. However, when using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
  7. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
  8. whatchadoin1.JPGThe glass in windows (even double-paned) does not stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
  9. When you hear the toilet flush and then the words ‘uh oh’, it’s already too late.
  10. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
  11. A six-year old boy can start a fire with flint even if a 36-year old man says they only do it in the movies.
  12. Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
  13. “Playdough” and “microwave” should not be used in the same sentence.
  14. Super-glue is forever.
  15. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.
  16. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
  17. VCR’s do not eject PB&J sandwiches, no matter what you see on TV.
  18. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
  19. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
  20. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
  21. frog.JPGAlways look in the oven before you turn it on.
  22. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
  23. Some plastic toys make a LOT of smoke.
  24. The  Austin, TX fire department has a 5-minute response time.
  25. The washing machine spin cycle does not make earthworms dizzy.
  26. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
  27. Cats poop and pee twice their body weight when dizzy.
  28. Women will pass this list on to friends.
  29. Men will try mixing Clorox and brake fluid.faye.jpg