The Duckies Do Oscar: The Golden Pig Awards
Monday, February 25, 2008 12:20
Teddypig’s Top Awards For Films That SHOULD Have Won Something At The Oscars. Damn them… damn them all to hell!
Most abused film by Hollywood and it’s own creator Award:
Star Wars, 1977… Let’s face facts. Does anyone really care about Annie Hall anymore?
Will George Lucas ever stop re-editing and re-imagining and re-cheesing up his films and just give us a god damned cleaned up, re-mastered copy of this on Blu-Ray? Please.
Best reason to take advantage of Harrison Ford after getting him drunk Award:
Blade Runner, 1982… Finally, this year we got the Final Cut on Blu-Ray and I have to admit it was amazing. Ridley Scott gave us the film the way it should have been the first time out. Not that Hollywood would have treated it any better, we just could have sneered at them much, much more than we did.
Best mantitty from 2006 remembered in 2008 Award:
300, 2006… Gerard Butler… need I say more?
First time I thought Helena Bonham Carter was probably not acting Award:
Fight Club, 1999… American Beauty? Someone actually watched that crap? I was still lusting after Brad Pitt, quoting heavily from this movie’s dialog and wondering if HBC made wild monkey love with him and that dildo.
But but but… Heath Ledger was hawt! Award:
Brokeback Mountain, 2005… Crash? They gave a movie that stole it’s title from David Cronenberg’s most twisted film [ed: you have GOT to read the synopsis for that one!] the award? WTF?! We were robbed!
The moment I forgot I was a Gay Man and was tempted to swing my bat for the other team Award:
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, 2001… Angelina Jolie… ‘nuff said.
So, you agree with the Pig’s awards? What other awards would YOU give?
[ed(Bev): btw… ssshhhh… Syb forgot to fire me as the Contest Duckie and today’s (mini) Party in the Pond IS all about awards, so wink-wink, nudge-nudge]
azteclady says:
February 25th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
*jumping in the deep end of the pond*
(yeah, I’m a greedy bi… erm, duckie—wanna make an issue of it? *badass attitude*)
LadyHawke. Other than the occasional (and jarring) 80s music, I luuuuuuurve that movie all the way down to my toes.
Wendy says:
February 25th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Oh a huge AMEN on Fight Club! Brad Pitt’s amazing abs aside, this is just a flat-out great movie. The real travesty was that it was largely dismissed by critics when it first hit theaters, but has since gained a huge cult following. Ain’t that always the way.
And I’m straight, but I’d totally go gay for Angelina. I’m hoping now that she’s pregnant again she’ll gain some weight. She got scary thin there for a while and it just wasn’t pretty.
300 was pretty to look at, but I don’t think it’s a movie that holds up very well. When I saw it in the theater I really liked it, but on a second home viewing every cheesy line stood out like a sore thumb for me.
The one that bothers me is the 1996 Oscar for Best Song. That Thing You Do! (one of the best pop songs written in the last 10 years) lost to some overblown cheese-fest from Evita. ::warbling::You must love meeeeee::end warbling:: I love me some Madonna as much as the next girl - but bleck!
MaryKate says:
February 25th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
The Thomas Crowne Affair.
Shouldn’t there be an award for Renee Russo’s boobs, which made about 4 appearances? I’m 20 years younger than her and I look no where near as good now.
I *totally* agree with the Ladyhawke nod. Rutger Hauer on a destrier? Yes, please! And personally, I think more movies should have the Alan Parsons Project do the soundtrack.:wink:
Jaci Burton says:
February 25th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
The moment I forgot I was a Gay Man and was tempted to swing my bat for the other team Award
Lara Croft Tomb Raider - The moment I forgot I was a heterosexual woman and was tempted to swing my bat for the other team award. Angelina makes me drool. Then again, so does Brad. *sigh*
Sybil says:
February 25th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
I just wanna state now for the record that ::dear lord::
I am gonna go lay down.
lisabea says:
February 25th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Second the Angelina Jolie thing. Smokin’ hawtness.
Devon says:
February 25th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
I love LadyHawke. Have it on VHS
Angelina is freaky hot. And I agree that she was too skinny there. Leave the scrawny look to the younger and less talented. We like you as a woman.
My nominee for the “Stick With What You Know Award” goes to Rob Zombie for butchering the most classic slasher film ever.
JSL says:
February 25th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
I love the diamond duckie - and as to Star Wars … I heard at lunch there’s going to be a new one. Animated.
… Yeah
MaryKate says:
February 25th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
On the Angelina thing, did anyone else see Mr. & Mrs. Smith? I spent most of the time in that movie wishing I could be the white creamy filling in a Brad and Angie sandwich.
I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who thinks she’s hot.
azteclady says:
February 25th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Oh I love that movie! It follows the amazing tradition of True Lies *grin*
Danny says:
February 25th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
The orginal Star Wars trilogy with the added scences was horrible.
Little Lamb Lost says:
February 25th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
LadyHawke is great. Must agree with Aztec Lady. Will definitely have to see Blade Runner (the final cut version that you mentioned).
Jaci Burton says:
February 25th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
MaryKate
I love Mr & Mrs Smith. I own the movie. I watch it a lot.
Love the sandwich idea. Must ponder that and consider it book research. ;-)
katiebabs says:
February 25th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Gerard and his abs of steel. *SIGH*
BevQB says:
February 25th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
Just wanna go on record as saying… Angelina Jolie? I’d SO do her. Maybe. Actually, I’d probably be curled up in the corner wimpering like a little girl the second she got nekkid.
But maybe I could get a lil’ sumpin’ sumpin’ from Gerard Butler? I bet he gives great phone sex!
sharmi says:
February 26th, 2008 at 6:19 am
Wow…ditto on the Mr. and Mrs. Smith thing!! Oh, and with Star Wars! Leave it the F@CK alone already! Disney does it too…there’s the “regular” version and then the “Platinum” edition.
But..aren’t we forgetting “Troy”? All that muscle on display!
BevQB says:
February 26th, 2008 at 7:14 am
BAD PIG! Sharmi is right… How could you forget TROY?!
JSL says:
February 26th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Disney also has the scary “straight to video” now - I think there’s the 53rd sequel to Aladdin floating around somewhere
.
I liked Troy, but was disappointed - all the mythological stuff and the great CG available - they really missed that one. I was expecting more. Although, for eye candy and pretty wise… I’d see it again ;).
Jane says:
February 26th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Ah, I though Eric Bana was the hottest guy in “Troy.” Orlando Bloom was too effeminate. I’ll say Brad was second best behind Eric.
MaryKate says:
February 26th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
I’ll never forget the Washington Post movie critic reviewed Troy as having more body oil than gay porn.
Awesome. I love Troy. Is Brad being British? No, just hot.
BevQB says:
February 26th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
At the very least, Pitt should get the Best Manthighs in a motion picture EVER Award.
JSL says:
February 26th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
MaryKate - I love that quote. I’m going to have to find somewhere to post it… Jane, I agree - I liked Eric Bana the most too. And he was Hector! What’s not to love?
sharmi says:
February 27th, 2008 at 8:13 am
Ohh…but Brad just looked so dirty! (The good kind)
And I nominate Steve Carrel for the most disgusting display of male body hair in “The 40 Year Old Virgin”. (It WAS hilarious though)
Keishon says:
February 27th, 2008 at 11:40 am
Another Angelina Jolie fan and 300 was meh for me. It was pretty to watch but a one time viewing was enough. I covet my original Star Wars trilogy (on VHS tapes and DVD). Love Eric Bana and Harrison Ford as Han Solo [sigh]
Laura K says:
February 27th, 2008 at 11:50 am
I think Juno was robbed!! I haven’t seen “No Country for Old Men” yet but I think Juno was robbed. Also “Little Miss Sunshine” should have won best picture last year. I can’t get enough of that movie!! Hey, will somebody, anybody, reward those kids…umm..young adults now who do the Harry Potter movies? Now that’s acting, I say!!
Sherry Thomas says:
February 27th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Oh yeah. Man them were some fine, fine, fine thighs ::wipes drool off keyboard:: Mantitty I can take or leave but oh those gorgeous gams.
I went to see Troy countless times and wrote half of a screenplay that summer about an otherwise smart, normal girl who becomes a Hollywood stalker. :-)
Sybil says:
February 27th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
LauraK laurak laurak
::shakes head::
You can’t say it was robbed if you haven’t seen the one that won! Can you? ::shrug:: I haven’t seen either so really I gots no dog in this fight.
I know I suck. Haven’t seen any of the movies. Didn’t watch the Oscars. Didn’t see the preshow, redcarpet thing or anything. I haven’t even seen Troy. Or ::scrolls up:: I have seen star wars a few times when I was married. I refused to stand in line though and the ex had too by himself.
I think it is his fault I no longer like movies. Or could be the short attention span.
Keishon says:
February 28th, 2008 at 10:28 am
I’d vote for the short attention span. [g] I love to pick on Sybil. Anyway -
I didn’t watch the Oscars either, didn’t recognize most of the major winners but then with the writer’s strike, I didn’t anticipate it making it to prime time. Heh. I haven’t been to the movies in a long time either - I prefer to watch the films that were nominated in the comfort in my own home where there is peace and quiet.
Sybil says:
February 28th, 2008 at 11:18 am
Everyone likes to pick on me. Poor sybils.
OH! I did see Pirates 3 at my moms. Wasn’t Depp up for that! WoOT!